Categories: Rantings from the V-BunkerThe Rules

On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

Rule #41 Violation forces Tour Champ to swap bikes.

[rule number=41/]

Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time of conjuring. Nevertheless, they apply to the weekend warrior as much as they do to a Tour de France Champion.

Television commentators waxed poetic about the garbage bag caught on Froome’s back wheel being symbolic of how this race has thrown everything at him and still he persevered. Well, I’m here to tell you that his litter collection was little more than civic service and had nothing to do with bad luck: it was penance paid for a blatant violation of Rule #41. Full stop.

Obey the Rules and this sort of shit won’t happen.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

rfreese888 says:

Jul 28 2015 at 9:37 am

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

I so wanted Quintana to win but Movistar will have to plan it better and hope Froome has an off tour next year.
frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 10:41 am

@markb

@frank

@RM2Ride

True. Except that particular hipster just hoisted a silly blue cup at the end of a 23-day vacance en France. It might be hard to argue with that, somewhat.

Dunno, never tried those rings myself. Wonder if they’ll catch on now.

Fair enough, but they didn’t catch on after Wiggo and Froome won the Tour before. I rode Q-rings for a bit myself and found them fantastic some days and awful others. 1000 reasons that could be the case but chainring shape seems to be at most the “marginal” in “marginal” gains. You push on the pedals to make your bike go, not the other way around.

All that said, I love Froome’s win this year much more than 2013; he really showed fight in the end and you have to respect that. This was not an Armstrong or Indurain style win. This was a good race.

Not classic or epic. But good. But better than many. And I walk away from it liking Froome the most I’ve ever liked him. Whatever that means.

Fuck, and I like Sagan now, too. And Cav. What’s happened to me?

I was really gunning for Degenkolb there in the end.

I don’t think he used them on every stage – I could imagine they are pretty awkward when standing going up hill.

Can’t say I *like* Froome as a person – I’m pretty sure a night out with Cav could be pretty wild, but Froomy would be sipping a diet coke in the corner tutting. As a cyclist, he rides ugly but he definitely understands Rule #5.

He definitely used them in the mountains; if anything I'd have thought he'd not use them on the flat but per this photo it appears he does. I have understood, however, that the rings are most effective when used intermittently.
frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 10:43 am

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard's legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford's. I'm happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

I so wanted Quintana to win but Movistar will have to plan it better and hope Froome has an off tour next year.

They would have to plan another unusually hilly route if he's going to have a chance; and this year, I'd say if there was one more mountain to climb, he'd have won the Tour.
frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 10:44 am

@Ron

Don’t they charge the consumer extra for plastic bags in France? Seems like you’d want to hold onto that treasure more closely…

Gold!

@Oli

@frank

Odd-shaped chainrings don’t affect chain tension, only location. It seems counter-intuitive but you can set up a singlespeed with an oval ring and have perfect chain tension, and I have.

I was wondering about that, but that chain tension looks fucking awful. That's another demerit for the team mechanic!

(Although the most likely explanation is he's just going over a bump...)
frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 10:46 am

@Peddler931

I note that the screen cap is from RAI. Is there a rule regarding preference for using an Italian feed when streaming cycling events?

Whatever gets you the highest quality picture with the best commentators!
frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 10:48 am

@Teocalli

Like the new slider that has just appeared against the recent posts.

Thank you sir! I love it when you lot notice those little things!
ped says:

Jul 28 2015 at 11:57 am

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

Let's end this now

cool

the antithesis
ped says:

Jul 28 2015 at 12:27 pm

@wiscot

Sooooooooooo cynical, are you trying to replace Jalabert on French tv?
wiscot says:

Jul 28 2015 at 1:06 pm

@frank

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

I so wanted Quintana to win but Movistar will have to plan it better and hope Froome has an off tour next year.

They would have to plan another unusually hilly route if he’s going to have a chance; and this year, I’d say if there was one more mountain to climb, he’d have won the Tour.

Yeah, and if there had been another proper TT in the last week (as there should have been) Froome would have taken minutes out of Quintana.

I just can't warm to CF, but he won it straight - won a stage and defended it brilliantly. NQ will have to get Guimard on his side vis a vis tactics to win. Hated seeing Malmerde on the podium - Nibbles deserved that spot for his stage win and fight back in week 3. Nibbles clearly came in below appropriate strength/fitness. Bertie was cooked and never looked like a serious contender.

So happy for MTN Quebeka - a spot in the dotty jumper and a great stage win by Cummings. Totally justified their selection.

The French have much to optimistic about - 5 riders in the top 20. I really thought Pinot was going to get all whiny and petulant after his crappy first week but came back strongly. Chapeau for that. Barguil and Bardet look very promising.

Two Dutchmen in the top 10 - been a while there for sure.

Happy too for Greipel - 4 wins for a nice guy. Going for stages rather than GC was a smart move for Lotto Soudal
frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 3:17 pm

@ped

1st post Tour crit, sagan wheelie fail!

http://www.nieuwsblad.be/sportwereld/cnt/dmf20150727_01794242

Maybe after the podium presentation

At the risk of sounding a bit like an alcoholic...my Merckx that beer looks good!