Categories: Rantings from the V-BunkerThe Rules

On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

Rule #41 Violation forces Tour Champ to swap bikes.

[rule number=41/]

Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time of conjuring. Nevertheless, they apply to the weekend warrior as much as they do to a Tour de France Champion.

Television commentators waxed poetic about the garbage bag caught on Froome’s back wheel being symbolic of how this race has thrown everything at him and still he persevered. Well, I’m here to tell you that his litter collection was little more than civic service and had nothing to do with bad luck: it was penance paid for a blatant violation of Rule #41. Full stop.

Obey the Rules and this sort of shit won’t happen.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Jul 28 2015 at 3:19 pm

@ped

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

Let’s end this now

cool

the antithesis

Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.
ped says:

Jul 28 2015 at 4:13 pm

@frank

Malheur - a beer named sadness +12%,
Mike C says:

Jul 28 2015 at 7:54 pm

What would make the fab 4 really interesting is to put them and only them into a two week race. All of them fresh and rested. Allow no drafting. You gotta pull your own ass along the entire route. Then let's see who is really a bad ass. Would Froome crack like the Chris-tal glass he is? Would Contador go off like quick draw McGraw? Would the shark get eaten? Would Quintana's facial expression change?

Froome won the Tour, no doubt. Without the Sky train pulling him along, I don't think he could have. Could he have defended his lead like Contador did in the Giro? Would he have even gotten back up after dislocating his shoulder? Probably not. ..
Oli says:

Jul 28 2015 at 10:18 pm

Not much love for Froomey around here. That's a great shame, I reckon. I'm not his biggest fan but he rode well, comported himself well in the face of some scurrilous and at times despicable media and "fan" behaviour and, apart from accusing Nibali of attacking when he had a mechanical (he did), he never put a foot wrong. I would even go so far as to say he showed some flashes of panache at several points of the Tour, a Tour I think he fully deserved to win. And until proven otherwise it was a clean win by most accounts, other than the accounts of those searching for the slightest suspicion on which to crucify him.
piwakawaka says:

Jul 28 2015 at 11:18 pm

No one mentions Quitana's time on the Alp,

pretty dubious company, and it's a tiny piece of isolated data, but no questions and certainly none of the sort of treatment Froome got.
ChrisO says:

Jul 28 2015 at 11:23 pm

@frank

@ped

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

Let’s end this now

cool

the antithesisa

Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

I see another guy who - putting historical comparisons aside - is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

None of that stops me questioning some of Sky's approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.
Barracuda says:

Jul 28 2015 at 11:38 pm

@ChrisO

@frank

@ped

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

Let’s end this now

cool

the antithesisa

Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

I see another guy who – putting historical comparisons aside – is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

None of that stops me questioning some of Sky’s approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.

I reckon Im with you on this one @ChrisO.

Given the spanning of years its just the natural progression of things and as you said, whats not to like about black Jags, high end Pinarello's, Rapha and those Kask lids.

Im envious and exhausted all at the same time.

FWIW, best looking overall team in the game.
RobSandy says:

Jul 29 2015 at 12:41 am

@ped

Chapeau for the Elbow/Hawley reference. I was thinking about Richard Hawley last night; I went to a festival he organised in the Peak District called the Teddy Boy's Picnic. He'd managed to persuade Norma Waterson and Martin Carthy to play as support, and it was the most magical gig I'd ever been to.

None of this has anything to do with cycling.
RobSandy says:

Jul 29 2015 at 1:05 am

@piwakawaka

No one mentions Quitana’s time on the Alp,

pretty dubious company, and it’s a tiny piece of isolated data, but no questions and certainly none of the sort of treatment Froome got.

Out of interest, what was Quintana's time up there?
piwakawaka says:

Jul 29 2015 at 1:46 am

@RobSandy

@piwakawaka

No one mentions Quitana’s time on the Alp,

pretty dubious company, and it’s a tiny piece of isolated data, but no questions and certainly none of the sort of treatment Froome got.

Out of interest, what was Quintana’s time up there?

39:23, places him 22nd all time. Pantani 36:50 1,2,3, Armstrong 37:36 4, Ullrich 37:42 5, Indurain 38:14 7, Zulle 38:14 8, Riis 38:16 9,Virenque 38:22 10.