Categories: Rantings from the V-BunkerThe Rules

On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

Rule #41 Violation forces Tour Champ to swap bikes.

[rule number=41/]

Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time of conjuring. Nevertheless, they apply to the weekend warrior as much as they do to a Tour de France Champion.

Television commentators waxed poetic about the garbage bag caught on Froome’s back wheel being symbolic of how this race has thrown everything at him and still he persevered. Well, I’m here to tell you that his litter collection was little more than civic service and had nothing to do with bad luck: it was penance paid for a blatant violation of Rule #41. Full stop.

Obey the Rules and this sort of shit won’t happen.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Teocalli says:

Jul 29 2015 at 1:54 am

@piwakawaka

No one mentions Quitana’s time on the Alp,

pretty dubious company, and it’s a tiny piece of isolated data, but no questions and certainly none of the sort of treatment Froome got.

Or Pinot's
osbk67 says:

Jul 29 2015 at 2:07 am

@Mike C

What would make the fab 4 really interesting is to put them and only them into a two week race. All of them fresh and rested. Allow no drafting. You gotta pull your own ass along the entire route. Then let’s see who is really a bad ass. Would Froome crack like the Chris-tal glass he is? Would Contador go off like quick draw McGraw? Would the shark get eaten? Would Quintana’s facial expression change?

Froome won the Tour, no doubt. Without the Sky train pulling him along, I don’t think he could have. Could he have defended his lead like Contador did in the Giro? Would he have even gotten back up after dislocating his shoulder? Probably not. ..

Sort of like Race Across America meets Ironman Triathlon bike leg? I can't wait. Much.
rfreese888 says:

Jul 29 2015 at 2:32 am

@frank

For the record I am a Texan living in Ireland - so not gushing over the brits but have to hand it to Brailsford.
RobSandy says:

Jul 29 2015 at 2:49 am

@piwakawaka

@Teocalli

I was going to say that, surely Pinot was even quicker.

The way the French media treated Froome over those 2 weeks was pretty disgraceful. Don't know what their problem is, they seemed to quite like Wiggins.
rfreese888 says:

Jul 29 2015 at 3:12 am

@Barracuda

@ChrisO

@frank

@ped

@rfreese888

Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

Let’s end this now

cool

the antithesisa

Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

I see another guy who – putting historical comparisons aside – is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

None of that stops me questioning some of Sky’s approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.

I reckon Im with you on this one @ChrisO.

Given the spanning of years its just the natural progression of things and as you said, whats not to like about black Jags, high end Pinarello’s, Rapha and those Kask lids.

Im envious and exhausted all at the same time.

FWIW, best looking overall team in the game.

No doubt Guimard and Le Blaireau just look the business and had loads of success with a clever, innovative approach and a healthy dollop of panache. Brailsford and Froome look totally nerdy in comparison. Too early to compare Brailsford to Guimard and forget about comparing anyone today to Le Blaireau.

All that said Sky / Froome delivered in V Fashion in 3 out of the last 4 tours and until proven otherwise with a totally clean team. When Hinault went to La Vie Claire they were all about the modern look and gadgets, scientific training etc. like Sky is today. They introduced targeted training with heart rate monitors and the Badger found the whole approach a revelation after being sick of getting ordered around by Guimard all the time with Renault.

Brailsford and Froome are just dorky yes - but everyone is copying Sky's formula now, including the French Cycling Federation! So if Brailsford is not the new Guimard then who is?
Oli says:

Jul 29 2015 at 4:18 am

@RobSandy

Quintana was mowing Pinot down, so that would make Pinot slower.
RobSandy says:

Jul 29 2015 at 4:39 am

@Oli

@RobSandy

Quintana was mowing Pinot down, so that would make Pinot slower.

Yes, good point.

I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes.
wiscot says:

Jul 29 2015 at 5:16 am

Hinault and Guimard were a killer combo in their day. Froome and Brailsford are a killer combo right now, but the sport has changed so much in the 30+ years that separates those photos that the comparison is unfair. Froome is very good, but he's no Hinault in any way, shape or form.

Froome handled himself very well - the abuse from fans and media was/is unwarranted. This wasn't his first rodeo - one tour in the bag already, a 2nd in the Vuelta in 2011 (which he should have won but didn't as he was working for Wiggo and could/should have beaten Cobo (where's he now FFS?), and a 2nd in the Tour in 2012 to Wiggins. So let's recap, if CF had been given free reign over the past 4 years, we could be looking at a 3 time Tour champ and one-time Vuelta winner. He's been tested and tested and tested and not on scintilla of impropriety.

Yeah, Sky have good gear, but the proper cycling cap Froomie wears looks shit. They need to contact whomever does the Etixx caps.
RobSandy says:

Jul 29 2015 at 5:37 am

@wiscot

Yeah, Sky have good gear, but the proper cycling cap Froomie wears looks shit. They need to contact whomever does the Etixx caps.

I think Froome would look odd in any cycling cap or hat. He's got an odd shaped head.
nobby says:

Jul 29 2015 at 5:53 am

@Jim

Just checked my own setup and I’m good. Exactly per the rules. Whew – breathed a sigh of relief. Offending the velominati would be a bad thing.

See, the thing is, my forks won't allow the correct application of #41, so do I buy a new bike?

Or, by NOT buying a new bike, am I in direct contravention of #12?

Am I proper fucked either way?