Categories: Anatomy of a PhotoThe HardmenThe Rules

On Rule #49: Keep the Rubber Side Down

Sure, turn that thing upside down. (I said it ironically, so it's not bad luck.)

Gobbles already violated Rule #95 this year when he became the first rider to celebrate winning a Monument by lifting his bike over his head as if he were some kind of savage; not a Belgian road Cyclist, the most civilized of the Cycling Breed.

But Rule #49 is another matter altogether. It astounds me whenever I see a bicycle helplessly turned upon its handlebars and saddle while the pilot optimistically leverages every muscle in their face to inspect the vehicle for evidence of its mysterious ailment. (Surprise ending: It’s the rider, not the machine.)

We, the Velominati, we see the Cycling world through a different lens. We see Cycling through the rose-colored lense of our passion and our reverence for the history, culture, and etiquette of our sport.

Hence, I find myself in disbelief to find none other than The Prophet himself, cluelessly riding alongside his team car in 1976 with a spare bike on its roof inexplicably turned upside down. This was the Year of My Birth; I feel a little bit sullied knowing that such an atrocity occurred while I was in gestation. (It also might explain a few things about my temperament.)

It just so happens that 1976 was the year in which Merckx began his irrevocable slide towards retirement; perhaps his failure to spot the upturned steed was an early sign that the fire in his breath was starting to temper.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

MangoDave says:

Jun 5 2017 at 11:41 am

@frank

I suspect they are all Eddy’s bikes – the lead photo clearly shows the other two bikes with blue tape.

And I'm sure each bike has a slightly different saddle position so Eddy could swap them during a race. You can't always count on a French newspaper strike to give you time to stop and make adjustments, after all.
Teocalli says:

Jun 5 2017 at 1:27 pm

@Ron

I don’t know who raised them. I definitely live in a bubble on a daily basis, so when I go out in public these days I’m generally shocked at what people wear around town. It’s depressing. It seems, like with wealth and politics, we have two extreme ends. It’s either a dandy who looks to be model for the clothing company, far, far too done up for an average day OR it’s a guy in stained sweatpants with his slippers on. The world is a bizarre place these days.

My VMW has a saying when we pass some people, she mutters "Have you no mirrors in your house?"
litvi says:

Jun 5 2017 at 6:03 pm

@MangoDave

@frank

I suspect they are all Eddy’s bikes – the lead photo clearly shows the other two bikes with blue tape.

And I’m sure each bike has a slightly different saddle position so Eddy could swap them during a race. You can’t always count on a French newspaper strike to give you time to stop and make adjustments, after all.

Hold up. Did you just say "stop and make adjustments?"

Bitch please.
Randy C says:

Jun 5 2017 at 6:49 pm

@frank

@ErikdR

@KogaLover

Yes, yes, goodness yes – I’ll never forget that as long as I live. 1985. 38 years old (Not me; Joop. I was 27 at the time). Thirty-eight! A strong field including Greg LeMond, Moreno Argentin, Stephen Roche… Joop sneaking off on the left side of the road, out-foxing the lot of ’em – and Mart Smeets, the Dutch sports commentator, utterly losing his shit. Good times. (I must have been peeling a lot of onions at the time, because there was a very distinct trace of salty liquid in the corners of my eyes when Joop crossed the line that day…)

Magic. Nah, lads. Let that orange jersey go up the road. That cat’s too old to be dangerous.

I watch that video and notice that the bikes all look the same. Compare with today so much difference. All the different bikes today are each much more distinctive. Consider a Super Six vs a Venge vs an F10 vs a Madone. All very differently designed and styled bikes in the Peloton today vs back in the skinny straight steel tube days.
stooge says:

Jun 5 2017 at 7:26 pm

@Randy C

@frank

@ErikdR

@KogaLover

Yes, yes, goodness yes – I’ll never forget that as long as I live. 1985. 38 years old (Not me; Joop. I was 27 at the time). Thirty-eight! A strong field including Greg LeMond, Moreno Argentin, Stephen Roche… Joop sneaking off on the left side of the road, out-foxing the lot of ’em – and Mart Smeets, the Dutch sports commentator, utterly losing his shit. Good times. (I must have been peeling a lot of onions at the time, because there was a very distinct trace of salty liquid in the corners of my eyes when Joop crossed the line that day…)

Magic. Nah, lads. Let that orange jersey go up the road. That cat’s too old to be dangerous.

I watch that video and notice that the bikes all look the same. Compare with today so much difference. All the different bikes today are each much more distinctive. Consider a Super Six vs a Venge vs an F10 vs a Madone. All very differently designed and styled bikes in the Peloton today vs back in the skinny straight steel tube days.

They might look the same, but I'm pretty sure there was more variation across bikes in the peloton then. A 54 Venge, is a 54 Venge, is a 54 Venge - they're all from the same mold. T'was much easier to customise geometry with tubes and lugs.
stooge says:

Jun 5 2017 at 8:02 pm

@Randy C

I see what you mean, though. The bikes do vary in looks a lot more today. TT bikes aside, aero bikes, superlight climbing bikes, and endurance/cobble bikes (often ridden in the same race) look totally different from each other, and two examples of either of those categories can look very different.

My point was that even on the same 'brand' (just decals, really), two riders from the same team, ostensibly riding the same model, might have quite different geometry in reality, back in the pre carbon day.
MangoDave says:

Jun 5 2017 at 8:51 pm

@litvi

@MangoDave

@frank

I suspect they are all Eddy’s bikes – the lead photo clearly shows the other two bikes with blue tape.

And I’m sure each bike has a slightly different saddle position so Eddy could swap them during a race. You can’t always count on a French newspaper strike to give you time to stop and make adjustments, after all.

Hold up. Did you just say “stop and make adjustments?”

Bitch please.

"...but the delay can also be used for adjusting one's saddle..."

[Inserts crappy screenshot of A Sunday in Hell, 26 minutes in.]
Teocalli says:

Jun 6 2017 at 1:27 am

@stooge

@Randy C

I see what you mean, though. The bikes do vary in looks a lot more today. TT bikes aside, aero bikes, superlight climbing bikes, and endurance/cobble bikes (often ridden in the same race) look totally different from each other, and two examples of either of those categories can look very different.

My point was that even on the same ‘brand’ (just decals, really), two riders from the same team, ostensibly riding the same model, might have quite different geometry in reality, back in the pre carbon day.

Not forgetting that "back in the day" or at least pre carbon, many of the top riders bikes were not what they seemed from the team colours and "manufacturer" logos but were actually artisan custom builds by the likes of Pegoretti. You could open spot them with different rear dropouts.
Teocalli says:

Jun 6 2017 at 1:58 am

@stooge

@Randy C

I see what you mean, though. The bikes do vary in looks a lot more today. TT bikes aside, aero bikes, superlight climbing bikes, and endurance/cobble bikes (often ridden in the same race) look totally different from each other, and two examples of either of those categories can look very different.

My point was that even on the same ‘brand’ (just decals, really), two riders from the same team, ostensibly riding the same model, might have quite different geometry in reality, back in the pre carbon day.

Not forgetting that not only were they different geometry they were sometimes (often?) not the purported manufacturer bikes at all but rather made by the likes of Pegoretti. The rear dropouts were always a good id of a non manufacturer bike.
Teocalli says:

Jun 6 2017 at 2:02 am

From 'net "In the days of a steel and aluminium peloton, Pegoretti was the apprentice to world famous framebuilder Luigino Milani, who was a favoured contract builder for many of the pro teams. After his apprenticeship Pegoretti continued to build for the pros, with Indurain, Pantani and Cipollini all having ridden his frames. "