Categories: Anatomy of a PhotoThe HardmenThe Rules

On Rule #49: Keep the Rubber Side Down

Sure, turn that thing upside down. (I said it ironically, so it's not bad luck.)

Gobbles already violated Rule #95 this year when he became the first rider to celebrate winning a Monument by lifting his bike over his head as if he were some kind of savage; not a Belgian road Cyclist, the most civilized of the Cycling Breed.

But Rule #49 is another matter altogether. It astounds me whenever I see a bicycle helplessly turned upon its handlebars and saddle while the pilot optimistically leverages every muscle in their face to inspect the vehicle for evidence of its mysterious ailment. (Surprise ending: It’s the rider, not the machine.)

We, the Velominati, we see the Cycling world through a different lens. We see Cycling through the rose-colored lense of our passion and our reverence for the history, culture, and etiquette of our sport.

Hence, I find myself in disbelief to find none other than The Prophet himself, cluelessly riding alongside his team car in 1976 with a spare bike on its roof inexplicably turned upside down. This was the Year of My Birth; I feel a little bit sullied knowing that such an atrocity occurred while I was in gestation. (It also might explain a few things about my temperament.)

It just so happens that 1976 was the year in which Merckx began his irrevocable slide towards retirement; perhaps his failure to spot the upturned steed was an early sign that the fire in his breath was starting to temper.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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RobSandy says:

Jun 6 2017 at 2:43 am

@Ron

I don’t know who raised them. I definitely live in a bubble on a daily basis, so when I go out in public these days I’m generally shocked at what people wear around town. It’s depressing. It seems, like with wealth and politics, we have two extreme ends. It’s either a dandy who looks to be model for the clothing company, far, far too done up for an average day OR it’s a guy in stained sweatpants with his slippers on. The world is a bizarre place these days.

Run out of medication again?
Randy C says:

Jun 6 2017 at 3:30 am

@stooge

@Randy C

I see what you mean, though. The bikes do vary in looks a lot more today. TT bikes aside, aero bikes, superlight climbing bikes, and endurance/cobble bikes (often ridden in the same race) look totally different from each other, and two examples of either of those categories can look very different.

My point was that even on the same ‘brand’ (just decals, really), two riders from the same team, ostensibly riding the same model, might have quite different geometry in reality, back in the pre carbon day.

The geo question though today is not in the length of the frame tubes but dialed in with stem length, angle and saddle set back. So the geo variation for sure exists. Heck, probably more variation in different bars on 10 bikes today vs entire peloton back then. And wheels too eh ?

And as @Teocalli points out that was a strange circumstance with frame builders building bikes and then the bike sponsor's logo being on the bike. Hampsten's Huffys built by Serotta. Armstrong on Trek Litespeeds. LeMond's Lemonds were Calfee (?) Just wouldn't see that kinda thing today.

This is time of year I watch the inter webs for photos and news on next year's new models. I just really dig the new bikes. See latest pic's of new Tarmacs are showing up.

Cheers
Cary says:

Jun 6 2017 at 4:23 am

the new Tarmacs look like BMCs
Cary says:

Jun 6 2017 at 4:23 am

or Canyons. or...
chuckp says:

Jun 6 2017 at 5:44 am

@stooge

My point was that even on the same ‘brand’ (just decals, really), two riders from the same team, ostensibly riding the same model, might have quite different geometry in reality, back in the pre carbon day.

Geometry on carbon bikes can be customized. Obviously, easier if the bike is tube to tube construction like the Colnago C60. Monocoque frames would require a different mold, which is a more expensive proposition. But for the "big name" manufacturers, an expense they might be willing to incur for a big name rider. And then there's always Sarto, who reportedly has built custom frames for pro riders that replicate the manufacturer sponsor frame but are completely custom (geometry and layup) for the individual rider.
Teocalli says:

Jun 6 2017 at 2:00 pm
frank says:

Jun 8 2017 at 4:31 pm

@Ron

I don’t know who raised them. I definitely live in a bubble on a daily basis, so when I go out in public these days I’m generally shocked at what people wear around town. It’s depressing. It seems, like with wealth and politics, we have two extreme ends. It’s either a dandy who looks to be model for the clothing company, far, far too done up for an average day OR it’s a guy in stained sweatpants with his slippers on. The world is a bizarre place these days.

I'm OK with anyone's personal style choice, so long as they are taking pride in their appearance. It shows you have respect for yourself as well as those people whom you encounter during the day.

The sweatpants and so forth is just disgraceful. The most insulting thing, to me, is the couples you see on the street where the girl looks pretty and put together and the guy she's with is a total slob with his baseball cap on - probably backwards. Grown men in baseball caps...news flash! We know you're bald(ing) because...you're wearing a baseball cap! Go bald with dignity. (I'm speaking from observation, not experience. My hair is still FANTASTIC.)

Seattle is interesting - you have the over-made dandies, the hipsters, the grungies, the business people, and the techies all mixed in. It really makes you appreciate people who take care in their appearance and stop being so stuck on your own personal style. I've seen some people pull off some rad shit that I would never in my right mind attempt.
frank says:

Jun 8 2017 at 4:32 pm

@MangoDave

@frank

I suspect they are all Eddy’s bikes – the lead photo clearly shows the other two bikes with blue tape.

And I’m sure each bike has a slightly different saddle position so Eddy could swap them during a race. You can’t always count on a French newspaper strike to give you time to stop and make adjustments, after all.

+1 badge to you! (It's been out of use for too long!)

@litvi

@MangoDave

@frank

I suspect they are all Eddy’s bikes – the lead photo clearly shows the other two bikes with blue tape.

And I’m sure each bike has a slightly different saddle position so Eddy could swap them during a race. You can’t always count on a French newspaper strike to give you time to stop and make adjustments, after all.

Hold up. Did you just say “stop and make adjustments?”

Bitch please.

Close second!