Categories: La Vie VelominatusThe Rules

On Rule #59: Hold Your Line

Anecdotal research suggests that people are being let off-leash without adequate training to perform basic activities such as walking on sidewalks or through airports and busy city centers. I’m assuming this expands to shopping malls, but I never go there so I can’t be sure. It’s easy to blame the mobile phones which apparently grow from our hands, but even when no phone appears to be involved, the same problem exists: people wander about without any apparent awareness that anyone else might be in the vicinity.

Take, for instance, the gentleman who wandered off the Plane Train at SEATAC airport the other day. As he detrained, he stopped to investigate which of the 4 identical escalators best satisfied his fancy. I’m not one to criticize someone’s escalator scrutiny – you can’t over think these sorts of things – my issue is with the choice to stop just outside the exit of the train, completely unaware that he was blocking the way for the other passengers still left on the train.

It isn’t that these are bad people. We’re a product of our society and society teaches us that being a self-absorbed asshole is the right way to go about your life; there’s no limit to what you can accomplish when you don’t give a flying fuck about how those accomplishments impact other people. Which brings me back to my original point: we’re not getting the right training in order to avoid being assholes.

Riding a bike in general and riding in a group in particular teaches you all sorts of things about external dependencies and the trickle effect that our actions have on those around us. Rule #59 extends beyond just riding in a straight line, but to riding predictably and informing those riders who are dependent on you of dangers and obstacles. Cyclists develop a situational awareness that becomes second nature with practice.

I therefore propose that we modify our free-ranging policy to include a provision that mandates all humans be required to take a bicycle racing class and spend significant time riding in a group at speed before being allowed into the wilds of society. Don’t change your line when walking on a sidewalk without peeking over your shoulder. Don’t stop dead in your tracks without checking if someone is behind you. Don’t take a right-hand turn without warning when driving in the far left lane. Don’t block doorways. Don’t knock people in the head when you’re walking with a 2×4.

And for the love of Merckx, take off your headphones.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:07 am

@sthilzy

From time to time, I see a commuter rider wobbling all over the road, riding wide and cursing every car that goes past him and shaking his head. really giving cycling a bad image.

Take a closer look at him and there's headphones plugging his ear holes! I really want to whack him over the head with a frame pump at what he's doing.

On the commute home, I wound up getting tied up in the Commuter Grand Prix. Amazing the shit you see and the random passing of riders without any awareness that someone might be blasting by them.

The best thing to do there is to accelerate to traffic speed and take the lane. Sit up and Beg YJA'ers really do a double-take when that happens.
frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:09 am

@unversio

I took a good opportunity this evening to hold my line on the inside right next to a Pedalwan Learner. He realized that he must also hold his line or... get more than comfy with me. No words spoken "” "see" the line, "do" the line.

A headphoned rider in a group ride two weeks back swung out without looking and bumped into me. Held my line, pushed back into him with my shoulder and he did the same into me until he regained his balance. No harm done luckily, but the riders behind skipped a heartbeat and were rather glad we knew how to handle a situation like that.
frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:11 am

@starclimber

And the shopping cart morons who stop in the middle of the aisle, a child to either side, fully oblivious? Same 'it's all about me' culture.

I am all for kids etc etc but one of my major pet peeves is the parents who act like the world should stop because they've manage to push out a baby. They'll stop anywhere any time, interrupt any conversation, and - and this is my favorite - stand in the bike lane while they unload their pack of rug rats into wagons and carts, forcing the Cyclists to swerve out into traffic and risk getting hit.
TheVid says:

May 15 2014 at 10:16 am

My fear is that someday when I'm on a MUP whilst riding my #1, I'll get stopped by some local authority and fined for not having a bell on it. In my head I then argue that few would hear a bell anyway since they all (yes, I know it's an omniscience fallacy) have headphones in their ears. I then would have to accept the fine because in the end, it's the bylaw that cycles have a bell, not that people have to have open ears to hear one.

I often loudly call 'ding!' when I come upon other pathway users from behind, and invariably the ones without headphones will reel in their dogs, single up, or wave to show acknowledgement of my approach.

The other train of thought that keeps my sanity on MUPs is that they are truly multi-use pathways. I have just as much right to be there as they do. Yes, their behaviour can be self centred, but is my expectation of right of way to the faster vehicle any less egocentric?

When I happen upon an uncontrolled dog (a retractable leash does not a controlled dog make), child, or pathway occluding group, I think of it as forced intervals. Accelerate, slow down for obstacle/hazardous user, accelerate. It makes me more resilient to the man with the hammer on those days on the road.
TheVid says:

May 15 2014 at 10:19 am

I should add however, that stopping dead in the middle of a lane, hallway, walkway, elevator door, top of escalator or other place where people and things are intended to be in motion is just plain dumb. Move right (or left as the case may be in your part of the world) and slow down predictably to a stop.
Chris says:

May 15 2014 at 10:34 am

@TheVid Can I add "stopping immediately after entering a restaurant and looking around gormlessly despite having already read the menu in the window blocking the doorway for those people who've already decided they would like eat there"

My parents are terrible for that.
frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:48 am

@Puffy

For some unexplicable reason in the last 12 months obsticales are increasingly not being pointed out. When they are, never by the entire bunch, just one or two about a third wheel and then never again. It seems the front riders figure they've seen the pothole, so the rest will. Surprised by the hole the next rider calls "HOLE!" but never point it out and gawd knows what happens from there. I will always and include the location but it is never repeated.

I yell back "no point in yelling "hole" if you don't also tell us where!" but my pleading has fallen on deaf ears. The incidents of crashes is on the rise and my participation in the rides is on the fall. How hard is it to yell "Hole middle" or "branch left" because when you are riding in close quarters at 40km/hr in pitch black it certainly helps.

A future article will indeed examine the practice of pointing shit out. Only point at stuff you don't want to ride over. No need to point out shadows or bits of paper. But potholes and branches are good.
frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:50 am

@Rhodri

People who stop and talk on stairs...

And stop their car in the lane of traffic to talk to a neighbor...

There should also be fast and slow lanes on pavements/sidewalks; not that anyone would follow them.

And then the fast lane will become a status symbol like it is on the highways.
frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:51 am

@Deakus

@Frank. This grumpy old man image you are working on is really believable! All points well made, but I am expecting reports of you doing your supermarket shopping at 6am very shortly. I also imagine you get tired dialling long distance?

Dialing long distance? Wait, can this iPhone actually make calls?
frank says:

May 15 2014 at 10:53 am

@Carel

A shared cycle way, the mom on the phone pushing a pram, the dog on the leash, for once, but of the extending kind, fully extended, the toddler on a cycle stopped across the middle of the way then moving backwards because of the fixed gear. The mom yelling at the cyclist (me) because he was frightening the kiddy! Typical scene!

I do a bit of this riding the CX bike in the park...but there I'm the oddball and try my best not to scare people too much. But the extender leash has almost made for a very sad ending to either my ride or a small dog on numerous occasions!