Categories: La Vie VelominatusThe Rules

On Rule #59: Hold Your Line

Anecdotal research suggests that people are being let off-leash without adequate training to perform basic activities such as walking on sidewalks or through airports and busy city centers. I’m assuming this expands to shopping malls, but I never go there so I can’t be sure. It’s easy to blame the mobile phones which apparently grow from our hands, but even when no phone appears to be involved, the same problem exists: people wander about without any apparent awareness that anyone else might be in the vicinity.

Take, for instance, the gentleman who wandered off the Plane Train at SEATAC airport the other day. As he detrained, he stopped to investigate which of the 4 identical escalators best satisfied his fancy. I’m not one to criticize someone’s escalator scrutiny – you can’t over think these sorts of things – my issue is with the choice to stop just outside the exit of the train, completely unaware that he was blocking the way for the other passengers still left on the train.

It isn’t that these are bad people. We’re a product of our society and society teaches us that being a self-absorbed asshole is the right way to go about your life; there’s no limit to what you can accomplish when you don’t give a flying fuck about how those accomplishments impact other people. Which brings me back to my original point: we’re not getting the right training in order to avoid being assholes.

Riding a bike in general and riding in a group in particular teaches you all sorts of things about external dependencies and the trickle effect that our actions have on those around us. Rule #59 extends beyond just riding in a straight line, but to riding predictably and informing those riders who are dependent on you of dangers and obstacles. Cyclists develop a situational awareness that becomes second nature with practice.

I therefore propose that we modify our free-ranging policy to include a provision that mandates all humans be required to take a bicycle racing class and spend significant time riding in a group at speed before being allowed into the wilds of society. Don’t change your line when walking on a sidewalk without peeking over your shoulder. Don’t stop dead in your tracks without checking if someone is behind you. Don’t take a right-hand turn without warning when driving in the far left lane. Don’t block doorways. Don’t knock people in the head when you’re walking with a 2×4.

And for the love of Merckx, take off your headphones.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

May 15 2014 at 3:54 pm

@Nate

@frank

@Ron

I sometimes ride through the local uni campus. It is amazing how many students can't walk in a straight line.

I'm surprised it hasn't been posted yet:

The other day I saw a guy almost ride off a curb, looking over his shoulder yakking away to his ride mates. Fortunately I called the precarious situation to his attention just in time; otherwise he was going over the bars.

We can't all be geniuses. I'm here to lower the average so more of you look good.

Would have really sucked to explain to the throngs of fan(s) why I couldn't sign the books anymore because of my double wrist fracture.
sthilzy says:

May 15 2014 at 3:54 pm

@scaler911

This seems like the right place to ask: What kind of maths does one use to explain the phenomon wherein when you're on a MUP (miles of it) on a nice weekday morning with few other users; you, the lady jogging with her stroller, and the old guy riding at you from the opposite direction all meet in the exact same place causing everyone to stop, go in the dirt whatever?

Or does that only happen to me.....

I've always wondered about this phenomenon. Glad I'm not the only one!
Nate says:

May 15 2014 at 4:32 pm

@sthilzy

@scaler911

This seems like the right place to ask: What kind of maths does one use to explain the phenomon wherein when you're on a MUP (miles of it) on a nice weekday morning with few other users; you, the lady jogging with her stroller, and the old guy riding at you from the opposite direction all meet in the exact same place causing everyone to stop, go in the dirt whatever?

Or does that only happen to me.....

I've always wondered about this phenomenon. Glad I'm not the only one!

I love it when my fellow 'muricans say "maths."
Barracuda says:

May 15 2014 at 7:18 pm

@Ccos

Sorry Frank, it's a grand idea but since most people are morons, it's doomed to failure. They (non-cyclists) are blissfully ignorant of their stupidity, continue to expand their numbers and culling has legal implications.

However, I do think cyclists make better drivers, since we are more prone to drive like we ride. Except for that squirrelly dude on the group ride.

Took the words right out of my mouth
Barracuda says:

May 15 2014 at 7:25 pm

@frank " I'm assuming this expands to shopping malls, but I never go there so I can't be sure "

My place of work just happens to be co-located in a shopping mall. Somedays its worth sitting outside in the mall for some light entertainment, of particular interest are the shopping trolley retrievers.

These muppets appear to be a law unto themselves, whereby speed and length of trolley train seem to increase as the day goes on.

Many a time whilst walking ive been tempted to yell " Car back" as the trolley train goes smashing down the mall at light speed like a pissed off snake on crack.
Puffy says:

May 15 2014 at 7:28 pm

@ChrisO

@Scaler911 Agreed on earbuds. I wear them only when I'm riding alone and only here in Dubai where there is very little need for me to interact with cars and traffic. I'm mostly on hard shoulders and rarely have to go into lanes or expect vehicles to stop or go around me so it's just a matter of making sure I am aware of them when I have to interact. If I'm going to be collected it will be some idiot driving on the side of the road at 120km/h - knowing about it would make zero difference.

I am really at a compelte loss as to why you need music whilst riding. I love music, I make it, and buy lots of it, it's great but when I get outdoors, the music stays behind. Are you really that bored/miserable that you cannot just enjoy the sounds of the environment (and your internal monologue) for a couple of hours a day? I'm not juding you, it's an honest question. Being alone, and given hours of zero discraction, just you and the unverse is one of lifes greatest things in my opionion. I recently did the Scody Three Peaks, a 9.5hr ride. I did it solo, and only occasionally spoke to anyone as they never rode beside me, only on my wheel. Not once, did I long for music, or anything. The sound of the bush, the blood in my ears at times, that's what made the ride. Anyway, just wondering why ear buds are required.
Puffy says:

May 15 2014 at 7:41 pm

@frank

A future article will indeed examine the practice of pointing shit out. Only point at stuff you don't want to ride over. No need to point out shadows or bits of paper. But potholes and branches are good.

YES! As I have explained the over-calling doesn't happen (regional town) here but I was riding in a bunch for three days in the capital city. We were riding the country roads outside the city and these clowns called every freaking blesh in the hotmix out. I spent half the time laughing that they would even bother. Then it occured to me that the dollars always flow south. Around here the roads are utter crap, down there, the country back roads are far superior hence the difference in opinion as to what required notification. In the end I told them if it doesn't swallow your wheel to the axle, don't bother to call it!
Puffy says:

May 15 2014 at 8:08 pm

I think this should happen more often to those oblivious of their surroundings! Not paying attention? Lookout, the unvierse is about to bite your ass for it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXiQGpIGlGo
Optimiste says:

May 15 2014 at 10:12 pm

@Puffy

@ChrisO

@Scaler911 Agreed on earbuds. I wear them only when I'm riding alone and only here in Dubai where there is very little need for me to interact with cars and traffic. I'm mostly on hard shoulders and rarely have to go into lanes or expect vehicles to stop or go around me so it's just a matter of making sure I am aware of them when I have to interact. If I'm going to be collected it will be some idiot driving on the side of the road at 120km/h - knowing about it would make zero difference.

I am really at a compelte loss as to why you need music whilst riding. I love music, I make it, and buy lots of it, it's great but when I get outdoors, the music stays behind. Are you really that bored/miserable that you cannot just enjoy the sounds of the environment (and your internal monologue) for a couple of hours a day? I'm not juding you, it's an honest question. Being alone, and given hours of zero discraction, just you and the unverse is one of lifes greatest things in my opionion. I recently did the Scody Three Peaks, a 9.5hr ride. I did it solo, and only occasionally spoke to anyone as they never rode beside me, only on my wheel. Not once, did I long for music, or anything. The sound of the bush, the blood in my ears at times, that's what made the ride. Anyway, just wondering why ear buds are required.

I ponder the same question. Although I do all my thinking before riding, the ride provides me the space to sort through all the clutter. That internal monologue at first seems crazy, then it makes sense, then it just is. Earbuds filled with music, or even phone conversations, short circuit that process. I tried them once in both ears, then once in one ear, then a resolve to never use them on the road/path/trail again.
The Grande Fondue says:

May 16 2014 at 12:07 am

@TheVid

My fear is that someday when I'm on a MUP whilst riding my #1, I'll get stopped by some local authority and fined for not having a bell on it. In my head I then argue that few would hear a bell anyway since they all (yes, I know it's an omniscience fallacy) have headphones in their ears. I then would have to accept the fine because in the end, it's the bylaw that cycles have a bell, not that people have to have open ears to hear one.

I'd never considered having a bell on my bike before. But these pics almost made me reconsider