The Rules

Release The Book

IMG_1481
The insides, so beautiful.

June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Eddy Merckx will be directing one of his man-servants to the nearest bookshop for a copy.

Why an English publisher? I think the British have such a deeply entrenched sense of humor, only they thought this is insane enough to maybe be funny. An American company might never have gotten the joke. Sceptre seems to be a reputable company and yet they approached us to conjure up a book about The Rules. Obviously, the Keepers are in equal parts dumbfounded and thrilled this has happened. If someone approaches you to do something like this, something you have never done before, never considered doing, with deadlines and contracts attached, say yes. Then figure out how to do it.

How do we write a book? We divided the number of words required in the contract by the number of Rules and it came out to 666 words per Rule. That seemed about right. We never got together in a pub and argued about a mad idea like this. It shames me to say this but it was a virtual collaboration  There were endless emails, spreadsheets, skype calls, and ignored shared file folders as five disconnected people each wrote alone. A month into the writing someone let on we couldn’t be using expletives in this book. Oh for fucks sake, I’m back to zero aren’t I then?

Luckily that was a false alarm.

Artists Pedale.Forcheta and Jesse Willems offered us use of their  photographs, an act of generosity that made our work much easier. With no hyperlinks and video to fall back on, really good photography still saves the day. The Rules and Lexicon were already written by this excitable community of Cyclists, we just had to fluff it up. We are fluffers.

Due to publishing rights we don’t understand at all, The Rules is not available in the USA yet. VVVV Norton in New York has secured the US publishing rights. They too are also a seemingly upright and stalwart publisher. Maybe too upright for the likes of us but damn it, they have signed on and will be printing and releasing it in the USA in 2014. Before that happens we will have to dream up some more promotional stunts, something (like measuring sock height) that will either end up in litigation, a tazing or a shooting.

Brett has still not seen the book and Marko won’t see one for another month, unless we air drop a copy to him, in a dry bag, somewhere near Hudson Bay, Canada. I’m afraid to read it. I’ll find the glaring mistake I made and never caught. And I’m afraid to show it to my ma. I’ve disappointed her enough already in this life. But everyone else, in Britian and the Commonwealth, go out there and buy a copy or three. It could almost fit in a jersey pocket. Come on Keepers Tour 2014 and get it signed!

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109 Replies to “Release The Book”

  1. Yip, started reading it for real yesterday out here in the cold North Sea. Ishall share my thoughts later.

  5. Congratulations on the release of the book.  Must be very exciting and a great extension of the wonderful site you have built, which I really enjoy.
    I hate to be a curmudgeon and mean the following in only the most constructive way possible, but wanted to comment on  the vidoes “Bike Inspectors on the loose in London!” that the publisher has created to promote the book. 
    IMO, these videos miss the mark and take away from the fantastic cycling spirit that Frank promotes.  The Rules are not ideals that certain “in the know” cyclists should foist upon either other cyclists or, especially those “who simply ride”(as defined in the book).
    The Rules are dictums that are voluntarily followed by those who actively choose to be Cyclists and constrain themselves to a stringent (higher?) set of ideals of how to act and look.  Forcing them on riders is completely contrary to the obsessiveness and dedication to cycling that are celebrated on this site and in the book.
    Furthermore, the videos are grading commuter bikes against Rules written for road cyclists riding for recreation or sport. There are many equally obsessive qualities to admire about dedicated commuters, but vastly different rules would apply.
    Again, don’t mean to sound cranky but the “you are doing it wrong” approach seems counter to, IMO, the objectives of this site and may be offputting to those considering buying the book.
     

  8. @roomservicetaco

    Congratulations on the release of the book. Must be very exciting and a great extension of the wonderful site you have built, which I really enjoy.
    I hate to be a curmudgeon and mean the following in only the most constructive way possible, but wanted to comment on the vidoes “Bike Inspectors on the loose in London!” that the publisher has created to promote the book.
    IMO, these videos miss the mark and take away from the fantastic cycling spirit that Frank promotes. The Rules are not ideals that certain “in the know” cyclists should foist upon either other cyclists or, especially those “who simply ride”(as defined in the book).
    The Rules are dictums that are voluntarily followed by those who actively choose to be Cyclists and constrain themselves to a stringent (higher?) set of ideals of how to act and look. Forcing them on riders is completely contrary to the obsessiveness and dedication to cycling that are celebrated on this site and in the book.
    Furthermore, the videos are grading commuter bikes against Rules written for road cyclists riding for recreation or sport. There are many equally obsessive qualities to admire about dedicated commuters, but vastly different rules would apply.
    Again, don’t mean to sound cranky but the “you are doing it wrong” approach seems counter to, IMO, the objectives of this site and may be offputting to those considering buying the book.

    This may be comparable to Moses handing down the tablets to his “people” that quite frankly were worshipping all wrong and fell into chaos. Almost like that…

  10. Received my 3 copies early this week. Really nice to have a preview…
    Awesome publication of cycling humor, keep up this excellent work!

  11. Gentlemen, you are a credit to yourselves, your families, your nations and cyclists of the world. This is the rules, taken to a new level. More background, more history, more humour, more authenticity, the list goes on. It is a fantastic read, a book that stands shoulder to shoulder with Fotheringham, Bobet, Krabbe, Moore. Chapeau Mille.

  12. @roomservicetaco

    I hear you. Hopefully the English commuter who finds this on their bike will see some humor in finding it, or mutter “piss off”, as they toss the ticket away. They won’t care. It is a promotional stunt and nothing more. Will it add to book sales? Who knows.

    It’s a line we are constantly crisscrossing. Do we take ourselves too seriously? Do we take The Rules too seriously? Are we tossers? I hope everyone sees humor in all of this. I’ve never been able to take anything very seriously, especially rules.

    The good news is the book is funny. Or a twisted person like myself finds it very funny. It will be interesting to read a review, oh jesus, or see how well it is received by the less obsessed.

  13. Gianni – your book gets published, you’ve got a new steed for the summer…things are looking up for ya!

    Congratulations, lads! Very impressive. Nothing like turning your passion into something so tangible and memorable. Great work!

  14. @meursault

    Gentlemen, you are a credit to yourselves, your families, your nations and cyclists of the world. This is the rules, taken to a new level. More background, more history, more humour, more authenticity, the list goes on. It is a fantastic read, a book that stands shoulder to shoulder with Fotheringham, Bobet, Krabbe, Moore. Chapeau Mille.

    Oh good! Can we put that quote somewhere? Anywhere, on the cover?

    Frank, Marko, Brett, Jim and myself are too close to get perspective on it. After months of writing and months of editing with geniuses like Drummond Moir, we were relieved to have it finally pulled from out hands. But then our collective minds were totally blown out to see it in final book form…a  badass Book! It’s too cool for words.

  15. me = not obsessed/shaved = received it 2 days ago = afraid to open it = saving it for the holidays
    its great to read this site, must be great to read the book, thnx

  16. @Gianni

    “Before that happens we will have to dream up some more promotional stunts, something (like measuring sock height) that will either end up in litigation, a tazing or a shooting.”

    I have faith in the Keepers.  Go for the hat trick.  We are an inclusive site, after all.

  17. @Gianni

    @meursault

    Gentlemen, you are a credit to yourselves, your families, your nations and cyclists of the world. This is the rules, taken to a new level. More background, more history, more humour, more authenticity, the list goes on. It is a fantastic read, a book that stands shoulder to shoulder with Fotheringham, Bobet, Krabbe, Moore. Chapeau Mille.

    Oh good! Can we put that quote somewhere? Anywhere, on the cover?

    Frank, Marko, Brett, Jim and myself are too close to get perspective on it. After months of writing and months of editing with geniuses like Drummond Moir, we were relieved to have it finally pulled from out hands. But then our collective minds were totally blown out to see it in final book form…a badass Book! It’s too cool for words.

    Sing it, brother. Drummond, especially, was amazing. What a patient cunt*, that fucker is. So patient, I don’t even begrudge him his unnecessarily heavy-rimmed glasses. He put up with me, for fucks sake. If that isn’t worthy of Knighthood, nothing is. Fuck Wiggins and Chris Hoy, Queenie – Give Drummond his share!

    We were so focussed on finishing the book Jan 1 – letting the site slip into AOP Hell in the meantime – and then we figure we were home-free. Then comes the editing process. I’ve looked at books and seen errors and been like, “Were you drunk? How did you let that slip through?”

    First of all, yes, they were. Second, so many revisions, so many merges, so many chances for mistakes. And then the fucking typesetting isn’t even a copy-paste, it’s a re-writing. Amazing shit. We’ve already found some mistakes (thanks to the bloke who posted with an error and whose post I deleted after taking note of it, it will be fixed in the next printing). As a new inductee into the world of publishing, and having had my first sip of the Koolaide, I’m amazed at how few mistakes show up in these things.

    That said, I’m 50-50 on finding shit we could have written better and shit that is cracking me up that I’d forgotten about as I pick my way through it. (I still can’t bear to actually read it.)

    Thanks again Pedale and Jesse. You guys are awesome.

    * I’ve recently learned that the word “cunt” is derived from the Dutch word “kont” which means “ass”. Its still not a compliment, but I feel like I’m justified in using it now that its Dutch. You’re all going to have to deal with it.

  18. Gianni, if you had any part in the editing of the finished book then I have found spotted your error. Pages 52/53 covering rules 77 & 81 both have the same header.

    Three lashes with a mini pump and we’lll say no more about it…

  19. I live in Tucson, ARIZONA  US of A and Ill be getting mine in the next few days. cant wait!

  20. awesome. I shall not be waiting until 2014 for this. Mine will be delivered to the PNW next Friday. As it should be.

  21. @frank

    Sing it, brother. Drummond, especially, was amazing. What a patient cunt*, that fucker is. So patient, I don’t even begrudge him his unnecessarily heavy-rimmed glasses. He put up with me, for fucks sake. If that isn’t worthy of Knighthood, nothing is. Fuck Wiggins and Chris Hoy, Queenie – Give Drummond his share!

    heheeee…begrudge him his unnecessarily heavy rimmed glasses…still laughing, still laughing.

    @Velodeluded

    Oh cock.

  22. @Velodeluded

    May I humbly suggest that if any of us find editing errors, we keep it off the thread, and just e-mail the boys. I dunno, just seems tacky to handle it publicly. My 2 Euros.

  23. @frank

    @Gianni

    @meursault

    Gentlemen, you are a credit to yourselves, your families, your nations and cyclists of the world. This is the rules, taken to a new level. More background, more history, more humour, more authenticity, the list goes on. It is a fantastic read, a book that stands shoulder to shoulder with Fotheringham, Bobet, Krabbe, Moore. Chapeau Mille.

    Oh good! Can we put that quote somewhere? Anywhere, on the cover?

    Frank, Marko, Brett, Jim and myself are too close to get perspective on it. After months of writing and months of editing with geniuses like Drummond Moir, we were relieved to have it finally pulled from out hands. But then our collective minds were totally blown out to see it in final book form…a badass Book! It’s too cool for words.

    Sing it, brother. Drummond, especially, was amazing. What a patient cunt*, that fucker is. So patient, I don’t even begrudge him his unnecessarily heavy-rimmed glasses. He put up with me, for fucks sake. If that isn’t worthy of Knighthood, nothing is. Fuck Wiggins and Chris Hoy, Queenie – Give Drummond his share!

    We were so focussed on finishing the book Jan 1 – letting the site slip into AOP Hell in the meantime – and then we figure we were home-free. Then comes the editing process. I’ve looked at books and seen errors and been like, “Were you drunk? How did you let that slip through?”

    First of all, yes, they were. Second, so many revisions, so many merges, so many chances for mistakes. And then the fucking typesetting isn’t even a copy-paste, it’s a re-writing. Amazing shit. We’ve already found some mistakes (thanks to the bloke who posted with an error and whose post I deleted after taking note of it, it will be fixed in the next printing). As a new inductee into the world of publishing, and having had my first sip of the Koolaide, I’m amazed at how few mistakes show up in these things.

    That said, I’m 50-50 on finding shit we could have written better and shit that is cracking me up that I’d forgotten about as I pick my way through it. (I still can’t bear to actually read it.)

    Thanks again Pedale and Jesse. You guys are awesome.

    * I’ve recently learned that the word “cunt” is derived from the Dutch word “kont” which means “ass”. Its still not a compliment, but I feel like I’m justified in using it now that its Dutch. You’re all going to have to deal with it.

    I’ve read it and loved it – I’m about to read it again. There’s few books that you can do that with: sometimes you actually want to look something up – the “fuck me there’s a Rule about that” conversation in the cafe over the espresso perhaps – and sometimes in the depths of a really disappointing evening when you just want to remind yourself by reading a few pages that tomorrow will be better because you are a cyclist and you can and will ride your bike.

    It reminds me a wee bit of “Hamish’s Mountain Walk” – its about the need to do something and the inspiring spirit of it rather than the usual “six ways that beetroot can help you corner better” douchery and interval training. Not bad for a book written by a drunk virtual committee across several continents.

    There are a few typos and bits of mangled sentence but I’ll leave those alone – they’re like fingerprints on the Sistine Chapel Ceiling – they make it human (and how come we never hear about the guy who did the Sistine Chapel Floor?).

    One of the reasons I started my own business was because my last ever boss used to buy books, read them, pencil mark the typos and mistakes and send them back to the publishers with explanatory letters. Maybe she’ll write to you about this one…

  25. @scaler911

    awesome. I shall not be waiting until 2014 for this. Mine will be delivered to the PNW next Friday. As it should be.

    Please.

    @Velodeluded

    That is the precise error referred to here:

    @frank:

    We’ve already found some mistakes (thanks to the bloke who posted with an error and whose post I deleted after taking note of it, it will be fixed in the next printing). As a new inductee into the world of publishing, and having had my first sip of the Koolaide, I’m amazed at how few mistakes show up in these things.

    @Velodeluded, @the Engine, @Marcus

    I look at these things the same way now as I looked at random roofs right after shingling my first…in painful recognition of erros and overwhelming understanding of what the shingler went through.

    Errors in a final product, wether a chunk of code, a blog post, or a book are painful for the creator to see. A pain that is equal to the enjoyment others find in pointing them out. In the end, its net-neutral.

    I guess the same impulse that makes young kids kick down sand castles made by other kids is something rooted deep and doesn’t go away when we get older. No sweat – we are used to making mistakes at this point. Hopefully the overall product will be enjoyable nevertheless.

    And – by the time we release in the US, it should be perfect. You’ll all have to buy a second copy to get the right one.

  27. @Gianni

     

    @roomservicetaco

    I hear you. Hopefully the English commuter who finds this on their bike will see some humor in finding it, or mutter “piss off”, as they toss the ticket away. They won’t care. It is a promotional stunt and nothing more. Will it add to book sales? Who knows.

    It’s a line we are constantly crisscrossing. Do we take ourselves too seriously? Do we take The Rules too seriously? Are we tossers? I hope everyone sees humor in all of this. I’ve never been able to take anything very seriously, especially rules. 

    Yes, no, no, yes (especially @Brett). But like my mum says: “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”.

  28. Some disappointing news from the company in charge of the Australian distribution, they’re not expecting the release to happen down here until late July…really starting to wonder what the point of us being in the Commonwealth actually is.

  30. My copy arrived 2 days ago from the UK. Lovely quality hardback edition. I was excited as it was being unwrapped and couldn’t wait to show Ms. Medio. Her comment – “oh, they have a book now, I suppose you’ll be reading that as well as the website…..” somewhat deflated my elation. She does think it’s an attractive cover though

  32. @Mikael Liddy

    Some disappointing news from the company in charge of the Australian distribution, they’re not expecting the release to happen down here until late July…really starting to wonder what the point of us being in the Commonwealth actually is.

    What’s the point? What’s the fucking point??? Being in the Commonwealth means the Queen does the book on tape for the Aussie market! After all, we all  know the rules don”t apply to her or her dysfunctional offspring but they do apply too her  dear colonial  subjects.

  33. @wiscot

    @Mikael Liddy

    Some disappointing news from the company in charge of the Australian distribution, they’re not expecting the release to happen down here until late July…really starting to wonder what the point of us being in the Commonwealth actually is.

    What’s the point? What’s the fucking point??? Being in the Commonwealth means the Queen does the book on tape for the Aussie market! After all, we all know the rules don”t apply to her or her dysfunctional offspring but they do apply too her dear colonial subjects.

    its not being a part of the Commonwealth that makes QE2 our monarch (there are many members of the Commonwealth that dont have Lizzy as their monarch), it is being a Commonwealth realm. Get it right.

  35. What great summer reading!  I’m trying to get my LIBS (local independent book store) here in upstate NY to stock a few bootleg copies… I don’t know what the Rules are for this sort of thing but they seemed to have no problem ordering it from Blighty.

    Can’t wait, congrats to the V crew, job done and with panache and verve!

  37. Release date in Canada is July 30, but one of our online booksellers will already sell me a “bootleg” UK copy for about twice the price! Already on order with LB(ook)S.

    Some Cdn sites list it as a trade paperback rather than hardcover. Is this for real? Paperback for the colonies?

  42. @scaler911

    @Velodeluded

    May I humbly suggest that if any of us find editing errors, we keep it off the thread, and just e-mail the boys. I dunno, just seems tacky to handle it publicly. My 2 Euros.

    Correct

  43. @Mikael Liddy

    Some disappointing news from the company in charge of the Australian distribution, they’re not expecting the release to happen down here until late July…really starting to wonder what the point of us being in the Commonwealth actually is.

    Mine being delivered via Amazon … destined to arrive south of Adelaide June 24 … Monday will be celebrated by waiting for the postie with a cricket bat behind my back ready to exert intense pain and suffering if not handed over.

  44. Got home from work and found a nice surprise… one day early from the UK my copy of The Rules. The real thing is every bit as good as all the photos suggest. Looks great on the shelf, and can’t wait until the kid’s in bed so I can crack it open. Excellent work – congratulations and many thanks Keepers!

  45. I have my 2 copies, the second to comply with Rule #3. So far I have merely dipped into flicking through but today I spend 6 hours on the train with it. Errors? That’s what makes it real. Have you read the Obree Way? Grammatically quite challenging at times but you know it was written by someone with a passion, deep knowledge and personal understanding for the subject matter and not merely writing for a living.

    What did annoy a little though was I received it on Monday and it was immediately out of date by virtue of the addition of Rule #92. Lets hope the USA version will be readily available in the UK to ensure ownership of the complete set.

    One last piece of advice. Do not touch with greasy fingers, the matt finish of the cover shows up salt and vinegar crisp covered fingerprints and that does not look pro.

  46. @JohnB

    One needs one copy to read, get greasy, leave espresso stains on and another copy with the clear vinyl book cover. That one you just pull out when guests come over. They can’t touch it, but they can admire it.

  47. @Gianni

    @JohnB

    One needs one copy to read, get greasy, leave espresso stains on and another copy with the clear vinyl book cover. That one you just pull out when guests come over. They can’t touch it, but they can admire it.

    This

  48. SBS Fantasy Cycling Comp 2013 – Tour de France is back on again.

    http://www.sbs.com.au/cyclingcentral/home/fantasy?position=image&cid=23218

    Not sure if those outside Australia can participate in this but I’ve taken the liberty of creating a Private Competition for fellow Velominati – as an aside to the Super Prestige series.

    Private Competition Name: Velominati Oz

    Password: RuleNo5

    If you’ve done this in the past years it’s a bit of fun – create your ultimate cycling team & I’ll look forward to seeing you on the leaderboard.

  49. My copy should be with me by the weekend.  It’s tempting to buy a glass case to keep it in!

    You guys should rightly be extraordinarily proud. How are you going to cope with the celebrity status, talk shows and endless literary awards ceremonies?

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