June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Eddy Merckx will be directing one of his man-servants to the nearest bookshop for a copy.
Why an English publisher? I think the British have such a deeply entrenched sense of humor, only they thought this is insane enough to maybe be funny. An American company might never have gotten the joke. Sceptre seems to be a reputable company and yet they approached us to conjure up a book about The Rules. Obviously, the Keepers are in equal parts dumbfounded and thrilled this has happened. If someone approaches you to do something like this, something you have never done before, never considered doing, with deadlines and contracts attached, say yes. Then figure out how to do it.
How do we write a book? We divided the number of words required in the contract by the number of Rules and it came out to 666 words per Rule. That seemed about right. We never got together in a pub and argued about a mad idea like this. It shames me to say this but it was a virtual collaboration There were endless emails, spreadsheets, skype calls, and ignored shared file folders as five disconnected people each wrote alone. A month into the writing someone let on we couldn’t be using expletives in this book. Oh for fucks sake, I’m back to zero aren’t I then?
Luckily that was a false alarm.
Artists Pedale.Forcheta and Jesse Willems offered us use of their photographs, an act of generosity that made our work much easier. With no hyperlinks and video to fall back on, really good photography still saves the day. The Rules and Lexicon were already written by this excitable community of Cyclists, we just had to fluff it up. We are fluffers.
Due to publishing rights we don’t understand at all, The Rules is not available in the USA yet. VVVV Norton in New York has secured the US publishing rights. They too are also a seemingly upright and stalwart publisher. Maybe too upright for the likes of us but damn it, they have signed on and will be printing and releasing it in the USA in 2014. Before that happens we will have to dream up some more promotional stunts, something (like measuring sock height) that will either end up in litigation, a tazing or a shooting.
Brett has still not seen the book and Marko won’t see one for another month, unless we air drop a copy to him, in a dry bag, somewhere near Hudson Bay, Canada. I’m afraid to read it. I’ll find the glaring mistake I made and never caught. And I’m afraid to show it to my ma. I’ve disappointed her enough already in this life. But everyone else, in Britian and the Commonwealth, go out there and buy a copy or three. It could almost fit in a jersey pocket. Come on Keepers Tour 2014 and get it signed!
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Gentlemen, you are a credit to yourselves, your families, your nations and cyclists of the world. This is the rules, taken to a new level. More background, more history, more humour, more authenticity, the list goes on. It is a fantastic read, a book that stands shoulder to shoulder with Fotheringham, Bobet, Krabbe, Moore. Chapeau Mille.
@roomservicetaco
I hear you. Hopefully the English commuter who finds this on their bike will see some humor in finding it, or mutter "piss off", as they toss the ticket away. They won't care. It is a promotional stunt and nothing more. Will it add to book sales? Who knows.
It's a line we are constantly crisscrossing. Do we take ourselves too seriously? Do we take The Rules too seriously? Are we tossers? I hope everyone sees humor in all of this. I've never been able to take anything very seriously, especially rules.
The good news is the book is funny. Or a twisted person like myself finds it very funny. It will be interesting to read a review, oh jesus, or see how well it is received by the less obsessed.
Gianni - your book gets published, you've got a new steed for the summer...things are looking up for ya!
Congratulations, lads! Very impressive. Nothing like turning your passion into something so tangible and memorable. Great work!
@meursault
Oh good! Can we put that quote somewhere? Anywhere, on the cover?
Frank, Marko, Brett, Jim and myself are too close to get perspective on it. After months of writing and months of editing with geniuses like Drummond Moir, we were relieved to have it finally pulled from out hands. But then our collective minds were totally blown out to see it in final book form...a badass Book! It's too cool for words.
me = not obsessed/shaved = received it 2 days ago = afraid to open it = saving it for the holidays
its great to read this site, must be great to read the book, thnx
@Gianni
"Before that happens we will have to dream up some more promotional stunts, something (like measuring sock height) that will either end up in litigation, a tazing or a shooting."
I have faith in the Keepers. Go for the hat trick. We are an inclusive site, after all.
@Gianni
Sing it, brother. Drummond, especially, was amazing. What a patient cunt*, that fucker is. So patient, I don't even begrudge him his unnecessarily heavy-rimmed glasses. He put up with me, for fucks sake. If that isn't worthy of Knighthood, nothing is. Fuck Wiggins and Chris Hoy, Queenie - Give Drummond his share!
We were so focussed on finishing the book Jan 1 - letting the site slip into AOP Hell in the meantime - and then we figure we were home-free. Then comes the editing process. I've looked at books and seen errors and been like, "Were you drunk? How did you let that slip through?"
First of all, yes, they were. Second, so many revisions, so many merges, so many chances for mistakes. And then the fucking typesetting isn't even a copy-paste, it's a re-writing. Amazing shit. We've already found some mistakes (thanks to the bloke who posted with an error and whose post I deleted after taking note of it, it will be fixed in the next printing). As a new inductee into the world of publishing, and having had my first sip of the Koolaide, I'm amazed at how few mistakes show up in these things.
That said, I'm 50-50 on finding shit we could have written better and shit that is cracking me up that I'd forgotten about as I pick my way through it. (I still can't bear to actually read it.)
Thanks again Pedale and Jesse. You guys are awesome.
* I've recently learned that the word "cunt" is derived from the Dutch word "kont" which means "ass". Its still not a compliment, but I feel like I'm justified in using it now that its Dutch. You're all going to have to deal with it.
Gianni, if you had any part in the editing of the finished book then I have found spotted your error. Pages 52/53 covering rules 77 & 81 both have the same header.
Three lashes with a mini pump and we'lll say no more about it...
I live in Tucson, ARIZONA US of A and Ill be getting mine in the next few days. cant wait!
awesome. I shall not be waiting until 2014 for this. Mine will be delivered to the PNW next Friday. As it should be.