Rolling with Rule #80
Always be casually deliberate, even when riding.
You have just attacked off the front to take a town line sprint. It was a just-the-perfect-amount-of-dumb yet successful move. You went deeply anaerobic for a sprint no one else was even mildly interested in, but you did crush them unrestrainedly.
Now, to hide your effort, you deploy the Rule #80 Casual Coast. Left hand on the bars, right hand resting on the thigh, right pedal up to raise the right thigh to armchair height. You coast along as your awesome sprinting momentum eases and the group rolls up. You are a picture of relaxation and confidence. You drift left and regard them as they ride up on your right. Your body language says one thing.
Let that be a lesson, jongens.
My old friend and LBS owner, George “Lefty” Sykes has taught me many cycling things over the years. He invested too much time, swearing and frustration drilling us in the perfect double pace line. The Casual Coast was never mentioned but George was a master of this move. I discerned this posture was as important as riding a double pace line though no one was going to pull me off the road and lecture me about it. This was not a skill, this was just cool. We cyclists don’t do much coasting but this an awesome way to recover and survey your fellow riders from a position of power and relaxed confidence.
I must say, I naturally began doing the Casual Coast when I began riding, I think it came from riding bmx and just looking cool for the ladies when I was younger. But yea, I do the left hand bars and I’ll even do a right fore arm rest on my right thigh… :D
…… but you did crush them unrestrainedly.
No kidding if you also have time to extract a nicotine stick and light up before the group arrives!
@Teocalli It adds to the casual feel. “I don’t normally smoke but you fucks are so slow I had to do something to pass the time.”
At last, a big guy on a size-appropriate frame without a meter of seat post!! Resplendant!!
Put a cap on instead of the helmet and you have the FUCKING MOST PERFECT cycling pic ever right there, Mate!!!
(even though I do not smoke and would never be caught dead without a helmet on whilst riding)
Guess you also need a steel ride and a single, small coco cola bidon in the front cage to be “perfect”, but fuck me, it’s close.
@Kevin Likewise, when passing a newbie rider, or indeed anyone on a Harley, the cherry on top for any motorcyclist is to casually (but deliberately) place the left hand on the thigh and settle back ever so slightly in the saddle, letting the passed rider know they should pay close attention as you drag a knee around the next bend.
You look fabulous. And calf muscles shouting “Here be monsters!”.
That’s the thing with cool, it’s like quality, you can’t define it, but we all know what it is, it just is.
@meursault
Or, famously, porn.
Nice shot there Gianni. Adding to the superbly casual aspect of the image is the lack of a bottle or even anything substantial the rear pockets. The Cipo-like ciggie is very old school too! The look on your face says “damn, now where did I put my lighter?” I guess that how you roll on Maui, non?
@Buck Rogers
And a Flemish Standard crankset (52/3×42) and a straight block, not that hippy dinner plate he’s got on there.
@Gianni, those bibs are very flattering. Your ass looks fantastic.
for uber casual, rest right elbow on right knee, looking off to the horizon and back at the group, all “yeah, i’ll beat you over there but right now i’m just right here…”
This is my favorite thing to do as well, I’m glad someone finally wrote about this.
This is right up there with arms locked at the elbows while sitting on the tops as you blow by a rider at 50kph and casually chat them up as you drop them within seconds.
My favorite thing to do in this case is to keep looking back like Cipo crossing the finish line, wondering where the fuck they are and how it’s possible they haven’t already caught back up. Jaysus, what’s taking you guys so long?
It’s even better when you (un)intentionally drop a group and then sit up and wait for them. This has an even greater effect when you are able to express a subtle combination of bemusement and puzzle at the possibility that they couldn’t keep up with your obviously moderate tempo.
On one occasion, I remember asking my dad to slow down a bit. He looked at me as he unclipped and let his foot drag on the tarmac a second before saying, “Yes, we can slow down.”
“What did you drag your foot for?”
“Oh, I just wanted to be sure we were still moving before promising to be able to slow down more.”
@frank Reminds me of a recent email exchange with a cycling buddy – summarised by
Me: I’ve got a new extended loop if you are up for a longer ride next time out.
He: Sure if you will slow down a bit.
Me: We’re going for a bike ride not a walk.
Boss move. no doubt. I will need to post a link to Corner’s FB page
@The Pressure
Hey Gianni – Your bike’s too big!
What I loves about you is you are the study of Rule #80 in all of your endeavors! And the funny thing is that you do it so sublimely that it is hard to recognize and not mistake for dumb/slow, which, lest anyone doubts for 1 second, you most certainly (think Moe pronouncing that word) are not!
Here in my new home, Miami, being on the bike can be a study of Rule #80, for some unfortunately, whilst riding.
With the addition of heat and Latin temperament I am finding new ways to remain tranquillo. One of the things that Rule #80 may not cover is the unwritten Rule of staying tranquillo in look and demeanor while laying down the hurt. In my case not to other cyclists because weirdly there are none on my commute but to Cadillac Escalades, Range Rovers and fucking Harley’s. the game I like to play to spice up the 16kms is when they bull their way through my space I track them and try to pass them at some point as close as I can to give them that special little rush of maybe their paint will get scratched. But if I have had a hard chase I feel it’s important to look relaxed and effortless in the chase, as I go by and after, thus the Casual Coast comes into play often.
@The Pressure
Resplendent! Thanks, this 60cm frame seems just about perfect. I’m too old school for the 56cm frame and massive stem. We can’t all be Dutch Monkeys.
@Buck Rogers
Buck, the fake cigarette is a must have. They are incredibly realistic looking, durable, and they have some chinese asbestos in them so when you push some air out it looks like smoke. A cig hanging on your lip as you ride by someone on a climb, it’s a beautiful thing.
@frank
Gianni scores bonus points by overtaking while smoking a cigarette and throwing out a look that says “hey, any of you recumbent bitches got a match?”
@frank
…blush…I’ve decided the black kit is very stealthy thus slimming. Team Body Dysmorphia, I’m renewing my contract.
@Gianni
There’s 58 also in between in case you forgot.
The gap between front wheel and the down tube is huge. What frame is that?
@TommyTubolare
Regarding the 56cm, I was exaggerating, thinking of Gilbert’s small frame for not that small a man.
It’s a Serotta, Meivici lugged frame. Here is a more useful photo of it. Does the geometry look weird? I’m big as a house!
Crikey! If we keep this up he’ll have to wear a cap ’cause his helmet won’t fit!!
Sprint so fast you lost your bidon…..? Or just too casual a ride to carry water?
@Gianni
Gadzooks!!!
@Gianni, that Serotta is too awesome to be allowed.
This is the essence of tranquillo. There is no greater way to demoralize an opponent than to sit up after a huge effort, look back, and quip “Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
No mercy. Lighting up a cig isn’t cool anymore, though. Gotta save that for when you’re ensuring proper hydration après velo.
This is defiantly how you handle Rule #80. As you’ve already noted, it’s super important to be tranquillo when the group finally catches up. If you’re dry heaving from the effort, the magic you just created is lost. Probably in close second to the Keeper Approved Position, is sitting all the way up, hands off the bars, maybe having a gel or taking a photo of the group with your cell (and texting it to the guys your waiting on).
@Gianni disappointed you are deploying cheap far eastern fake cigs. A French lot Italian model has far more panache.
Rolling with Rule #80 also works when checking yourself out while rolling past shop windows/mirrored office windows.
Awesome photo. I love to do this to the kids!
@Gianni Like a boss Gianni, like a boss…
@norm
Claud Butler – Nice. With a sprung saddle too.
@Gianni
O contraire…beautiful whip! What kind and size stem might I ask?
@norm
A few days ago I was out with two of my kids and my parents. My daughter, the eldest of the velominipper was out in front whilst I was riding with the youngest on my wheel out of the wind. He was struggling with a nasty cold so I decided to stop and take him home rather than letting it get any worse. After waiting for my parents to catch up I then set off to retrieve my daughter, when I eventually caught up with her she was the picture of casual deliberate, leaning against a tree, hands in (jacket) pockets and feet on the drops in the manner above.
As proud of her progress as I am, it rankles that she can ride with no hands further and with so much more style.
@Teocalli
So here’s this guy eating his lunch, one foot strapped in and steering with the other and you comment on the frame and saddle. That’s cracked me up mate.
@Mike_P
Not sure about the tights and shoes, but I’d kill for that sweater. As for the skill required top ride one-legged, steer with one foot and eat with one hand while looking beyond cool is little short of awesome.
@frank Also quite fun to chase down a rider…slowly coast into view next to them as you announce your presence…and then sit up [no hands on the bars] and leisurely stretch out the back. Toasting them as you take a sip from your bidon would be pretty freaking sublime, but doing just the first two drains my well of on-bike talent.
@Adrian
ahhhh, it was a photo shoot. I knew I could spend more time on the internets looking for a good photo than to just go out and shoot a decent one. And we didn’t have time to actually go out on a ride afterward. I’m not @pedale, I always go out with a bidon.
@The Pressure
Grazie, ebay is a wondrous thing. It’s a Ritchey classic stem and bars. It measures at 125mm (?!). Later I put some Chris King silver headset spacers under the stem so it’s all one color.
@scaler911 @Nate
Maybe it would be cooler to be rolling your own while waiting for people to catch up.
@ChrissyOne Thanks. Gadzooks it right! Serotta does not mess about. I lusted after a Colgano lugged carbone frame but this may be better. It’s custom made, the original owner was smaller than I am, yet it fits me well. And he kept it in perfect shape. Chapeau to him.
@wiscot
Actually, that is not far from the truth. Not me, as I’ve never smoked real cigarettes but the fake ones amuse me endlessly. But I do roll with a crowd of amazing cyclists here who do not fear some maui-wowie on a long road ride. Again, not me, I can crash in a wet corner without, thank you very much.
Here is an alternate photo, where it looks like I am taking a big drag. Me and Cipo!
@Gianni
Jesus those calves! My two calves put together would still only be half of one of yours. Fuckin calf envy right here, Mate!
@Buck Rogers
Me too. I have always been in the “pathetic calves” class. @gianni they are a work of road art.
@Buck Rogers @Mike_P
You lads can put your calf envy away. Mine are all show, handed down. They don’t make me faster in any way. I’d rather have Frank’s “calves” and climb like him, maybe. Maybe not.
Just last week I rolled up on 4 guys, with shoulders rocking, working really hard at 35kph. I had a clear lane and a mouthful of Clif Bar. I had been feeding at the 2hr mark when I approached these men who were exhibiting all the Rule V signs. I ‘lauded them. But, with on hand on the tops and the other holding the rest of my Clif Bar, I rang my Japanese-law required bell (ugh) and easily overtook them. I bowed my head slightly, as is customary here and a pretty damn cool tradition while encountering any cyclist in Japan. They returned and said nothing….and nor, did they show a sign of cracking. In my Rule #80 moment, they displayed their own version in the face of certain defeat. After I finished my food, I decided to sit up and offer my wheel as a friendly show of respect.
@Gianni
The first time we came to Maui, Gianni and his VMH show us through the apartment we’d be staying in; here is the bathroom, the towels, here is the kitchen, the beer, here is the coffee, and here are your fake cigarettes. At Casa Andrews, the faux cig is as crucial to the Good Life as a good beer.
Gianni is so good at it that he can make all the expressions of taking a drag, while still exhaling in order to make the smoke come out. Its truly a talent. I am 90% sure he rides with one at all times. I am 100% sure he drives with one at all times; every car they have has a stock of them.
And those blokes we did the East Maui Loop Cogal with, smoking dope halfway around and still being able to kill it on the climbs. Unbelievable to my wee brain.
It’s been said that Gianni’s Serotta is easily the nicest Keeper bike. I agree. His calves aint bad neither.