Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.
Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks?
I weaned myself off a discreet EPMS after twenty-five years of use. I was not happy about transferring the contents to a rear pocket but I’m a team player so I conformed. Previous to that was the ‘core sew-up tire held under the saddle with spare toe clip strap. Back then bikes only had one bidon cage, held on with paint ruining metal clamps. The position forward of the seat tube was reserved for a silca frame pump. Some ride with a tire in a jersey pocket, but with no second bidon to bastardize, it usually had to go under the seat. At least we weren’t wearing tires around the shoulders. I’m not that old, FFS.
When I see professional cyclists out training here, they rock the EPMS. Am I going to correct Ryder, not in this life. I couldn’t catch him to start with, if I did I would be too winded to explain myself and really, why? If you ride clincher tires, with inner-tubes or sealant, one has to carry some tire levers and a spare tube, at a minimum. My custom waterproof phone/money/drivers license/inner-tube/levers/5mm allen wrench bag was a fat bastard. Getting things out of it quickly or elegantly was near impossible.
Then Lezyne came to the rescue with the waterproof mobile phone/money/card /fits in cycling jersey pocket, wallet. They actually didn’t come to the rescue, I paid retail for it but the design rescued me with its brilliance. The phone is in a safe waterproof compartment yet one can access and operate it through the clear plastic window. So all that went into my center rear pocket, but left me with a tube/levers/5mm allen key to stow, in another pocket? Nay, it’s the Lezyne caddy sack, I’m thinking this tucks under the seat, held with old toe clip strap; the clincher rider’s spare tire, without the tire. It’s a sew-up without the outer casing. It’s a nod to the old school in a nice waterproof pvc dry sack, and yes, that is crap.
What does Frank say? I believe his words will be something like “What you have here is a crude looking EPMS held under you saddle with a nasty looking old strap.” Where does he store his spare sew-up tire? I’m already abusing Rule #1, Rule #30 and now Rule #31 too. Luckily or sadly, he is many miles away probably won’t get wind of this.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/j.andrews3@comcast.net/EPMS/”/]
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@Brian Not to mention the pave' which are the perfect aphrodisiac around these parts!
Ill admit I ride my MTB with a EPMS. the nature of the sport means that I need to be 100% self sufficient(cant be stranded in the desert 10 miles from the nearest paved road) not to mention that 29er tubes are fucking huge. But I would never put one on my Road bike.
Compare:
@Brian
Oh my Merckx, I want that between my legs. Now.
@Gianni
Okay, piss taken, faith restored.
@Ron I must really like all you imaginary people in my computer to change my behavior because of you. Repacked stuff into two slim zipper packs in left and right pockets. Ditched the large multitool for a small lighter one. Seems to work ok with a second bidon in the center pocket. I feel like I'm tempting fate by not carrying a chainbreaker though, so I have a couple of master links.
If I hurt myself carrying all this crap, I swear I'll going to find you and superglue the biggest damn EPMS I can find to your seat. Same goes for @Frank.
@unversio
Nacho Libre makes his appearance - excellent.
"When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun."
@captainsideburns
That's the thinking that eventually made Eddy cry. I was trying to figure out where I could install my wee led red flasher on this SPM saddle and noticed there was an inner-tubed size space up there between the rails. But then I got greedy and wanted it protected from the elements and why not throw in the levers too. And now I'm fucked. Doomed. Living in a van down by the river.
@Gianni Yes, but at least it seems to be a smoke filled van. Could be worse.
@EricW
Eric, thanks for standing tall, for a bit. Yeah, who are these people that shame us so easily? I'm going to become the sock nazi. Bastards.
@Gianni
Heh, heh. You have to get to know someone pretty fucking well before they stop being imaginary. Even if you're sleeping with them.