Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.
Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks?
I weaned myself off a discreet EPMS after twenty-five years of use. I was not happy about transferring the contents to a rear pocket but I’m a team player so I conformed. Previous to that was the ‘core sew-up tire held under the saddle with spare toe clip strap. Back then bikes only had one bidon cage, held on with paint ruining metal clamps. The position forward of the seat tube was reserved for a silca frame pump. Some ride with a tire in a jersey pocket, but with no second bidon to bastardize, it usually had to go under the seat. At least we weren’t wearing tires around the shoulders. I’m not that old, FFS.
When I see professional cyclists out training here, they rock the EPMS. Am I going to correct Ryder, not in this life. I couldn’t catch him to start with, if I did I would be too winded to explain myself and really, why? If you ride clincher tires, with inner-tubes or sealant, one has to carry some tire levers and a spare tube, at a minimum. My custom waterproof phone/money/drivers license/inner-tube/levers/5mm allen wrench bag was a fat bastard. Getting things out of it quickly or elegantly was near impossible.
Then Lezyne came to the rescue with the waterproof mobile phone/money/card /fits in cycling jersey pocket, wallet. They actually didn’t come to the rescue, I paid retail for it but the design rescued me with its brilliance. The phone is in a safe waterproof compartment yet one can access and operate it through the clear plastic window. So all that went into my center rear pocket, but left me with a tube/levers/5mm allen key to stow, in another pocket? Nay, it’s the Lezyne caddy sack, I’m thinking this tucks under the seat, held with old toe clip strap; the clincher rider’s spare tire, without the tire. It’s a sew-up without the outer casing. It’s a nod to the old school in a nice waterproof pvc dry sack, and yes, that is crap.
What does Frank say? I believe his words will be something like “What you have here is a crude looking EPMS held under you saddle with a nasty looking old strap.” Where does he store his spare sew-up tire? I’m already abusing Rule #1, Rule #30 and now Rule #31 too. Luckily or sadly, he is many miles away probably won’t get wind of this.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/j.andrews3@comcast.net/EPMS/”/]
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This has to be a troll. Has to be. You're a Keeper for Merckx fucking sakes........
@ridebikesdrinkbeer
This.
I save weight and money by leaving the credit card at home... @BianchiDenti always has a credit card.
@Scott
Surely this is the perfect reason to buy new jerseys
@brett Wait a minute...didn't you post an ode to the EPMS a few months ago?
Also, that's a beautiful Serotta. Shame they ceased operations.
I'm torn... Used to have an EPMS and then discovered the meaning of life (AKA The Rules). Then got a bidon style carrier from BBS and used that for a while. Then became pissed at the constant rattle and loss of fluid carrying capacity so have switched back to my EPMS for the daily commute. May decide to ditch the fucking lot and hope for a miracle.... aghhh
@Gianni I'm with you, even if everyone thinks you've lost your mind like @Brett. That said, I contend mine isn't a "satchel" since it isn't enclosed.
@G'rilla
I was waiting for this. Not an ode, a one-off, unsuccessful experiment in getting around Rule #29. You just can't.
And in my (indefensible) defense, the fizik EPMS looks way better than any of the abominations posted here so far. It looks especially good buried wherever it is now though.
I love the way Gianni dropped this bomb and then pissed off on a ride. He must have nothing planned for the rest of the day and is looking forward to a good laugh, reading our debate. Respect.
Another post that will garner 200+ comments.
A truism that all Velominati must embrace is that the aesthetics of the bike are not to be detracted from. Indeed, the rider on a bike is much like a guy in a porn movie: no one looks at that, but it is equipment that has to be there.
Thus, the trick is to minimize the mass of shitte that you carry along. Since my road tubeless conversion, I am pondering a switch from CO2 to the pump for a couple of reasons. @frank claims the Lezyne pump actually weighs less than CO2 (which model do you have? There is a really small one that is likely smaller than 2x 16 oz CO2 cannisters.) And as I discovered on my first tubeless puncture, the tyre seals quickly with the latex, and a few strokes of a pump likely bring it back to normal operating pressure (105psi for me) and the CO2 would be overkill. And...CO2 does have an endothermic expansion that is profound. I suspect water based latex might not play well.
So, I don't carry tubes, only an inflation system and a multitool and a wee bit of latex. This is quite small, and goes in the center pocket, leaving me with a bike with no distractions.
The iPhone, credit cards/ cash and a AAA card (that includes bike services) goes in a ziplock.Unlike some pro riders, I am cash conscious.
Jeezus, Mary and Joseph....I come here looking for hardman cycling inspiration, only to find I've been redirected to the goddamned Velo Orange blog site.