Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.
This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending it to the unenlightened is another.
It is during that troublesome extended family summer barbecue where the Velominati earn their stripes when defending shaved guns to the grandfathers of the world. The greatest generation doesn’t get it. They didn’t fight the Japanese and the Germans so you, a grown man, could shave your damn legs.
Usually, your shaved, tanned, naturally glistening Guns of Navarone need no defending, they are just there, twin defenders of freedom, loaded and ready. The greatest generation certainly should understand that, but they don’t.
Aesthetically, the issue is won already. I don’t bother getting into the hand-waving explanations of massage or road rash. Looking down and seeing hairy sweaty legs above my white socks just makes me sick. It’s depressing. It is a violation of all we hold dear. Looking down, 100km into a sweaty suffering ride and seeing glistening, shaved legs, doing the work: all is well with the world.
The wise @G’phant offered up the Tribal thesis years back and it clicked with me. Yes, we are all members of the same tribe; we know each other by our shaved legs. See that guy ahead in the security line at the airport, when security makes him drop his pants to his ankles, look at those legs, those crisp tan lines! He is one of us. He is my brother. It’s a pretty great tribe to be in and no need for tattoos.
Say things are going badly at the extended family barbecue. You have not impressed the soon to be father-in-law with a reasoned argument of how bitchin’ shaved legs look. The tribal argument has only generated a blank stare that questions why his daughter needs this (you). Pull out your smart phone, pull up this movie and tell him to watch this while you go fetch two more drinks (both for yourself).
Form, function and looking fantastic are intertwined and here is the proof.
Thanks to Dave E for the video.
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@Gianni
Additionally, shorn legs look fitter than unshorn! The definition improvement you get is impressive even on the ahem, heaviest of the bunch.
I am one of the few who does not shave my legs and probably wont
Even though I do agree with what others say about it.
I just can't get myself to do it.
Plus I am primarily in the woods most of the time so it does not much matter there.
@roger Can you be hired to kick Shaun in the ass?
When I realized a cyclist's life was for me, I started shaving my legs. About 2 days later, I started shaving my arms (the back of my hands up to and including my sorry excuse for biceps)!
As I look down and see my guns glistening, showing off all the V that I have been laying down, hairy arms seemed quite ridiculous looking.
Two weeks ago, I had a brief conversation with an acquaintance about my shaved legs. He thought it would be too time consuming. I told him after the forest is chopped down, maintenance only adds a few minutes to my shower time for all my limbs.
My advice is try shaving all your limbs, you just might like it!
@Shaun Kelly
I'll fire a salvo:
That pitfall is why we have Rule #16 and Rule #17.
I don't pretend to be a Pro, because I'm not. I don't pretend to Look Fantastic, because I do.
I think winter is the best time for shaved guns. Belgian knee warmers feel fantastic, real knee warmers feel better, & nothing feels better than a pair of slacks or chinos over freshly shaved guns. Even though they can't be seen, you know they're there & you always feel like the cyclist you are. For me, shaved guns when it's <20F outside motivate me to get out & crush a Rule 9 ride & really feel like a true Flahute!
@Puffy
Don't listen to those guys. I totally support shaving routines between loving partners.
The greatest revelation of this study is that we now have the Chewbaca scale to gauge one's hairiness.
My wife occassionally rolls her eyes and calls me a dork when she notices at all. She commented the other day about how I probably shave more often than her.
Which I took as more of a comment on her personal grooming habits than my own.
Nice work, Gianni. On our group ride this morning, one of the ladies affirmed that Rule #33 was the aesthetically superior choice. I agree. Even when my form is shit, smooth guns makes me feel fast. At least, when I'm sitting around after the ride.