Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.
This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending it to the unenlightened is another.
It is during that troublesome extended family summer barbecue where the Velominati earn their stripes when defending shaved guns to the grandfathers of the world. The greatest generation doesn’t get it. They didn’t fight the Japanese and the Germans so you, a grown man, could shave your damn legs.
Usually, your shaved, tanned, naturally glistening Guns of Navarone need no defending, they are just there, twin defenders of freedom, loaded and ready. The greatest generation certainly should understand that, but they don’t.
Aesthetically, the issue is won already. I don’t bother getting into the hand-waving explanations of massage or road rash. Looking down and seeing hairy sweaty legs above my white socks just makes me sick. It’s depressing. It is a violation of all we hold dear. Looking down, 100km into a sweaty suffering ride and seeing glistening, shaved legs, doing the work: all is well with the world.
The wise @G’phant offered up the Tribal thesis years back and it clicked with me. Yes, we are all members of the same tribe; we know each other by our shaved legs. See that guy ahead in the security line at the airport, when security makes him drop his pants to his ankles, look at those legs, those crisp tan lines! He is one of us. He is my brother. It’s a pretty great tribe to be in and no need for tattoos.
Say things are going badly at the extended family barbecue. You have not impressed the soon to be father-in-law with a reasoned argument of how bitchin’ shaved legs look. The tribal argument has only generated a blank stare that questions why his daughter needs this (you). Pull out your smart phone, pull up this movie and tell him to watch this while you go fetch two more drinks (both for yourself).
Form, function and looking fantastic are intertwined and here is the proof.
Thanks to Dave E for the video.
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Bang on. Have you ever seen a hairy body builder? Or WWF Wrestler? How many hairy sprinters do you see at the Olympics. Not one single fucker.
Shaved guns = 90% science + 10 vanity. My morning commute ride doesn't begin until I've checked the guns in the mirror.
Awesome, Gianni!
I was actually thinking about this today when I rode. Actually, I was thinking about how I no longer think about it. Rule 33 has been internalized. Just feels right.
Historically, cyclists were early adoptors of shorn extremities. Now, I 'aint no expert, but from what I read (perhaps written by me) the order of shavers goes as follows: cyclists, dance hall girls, prostitues, then everyday women. I suspect we have the WWII shortage of nylon to thank for the latter category anyway. Swimmers fall in there somewhere, but who cares.
From what I understand those bastions of machismo the rugby players are also fond of shorn pistons. No one asks them though, nor questions their masculinity. Probably because they are twice our size. As for me, I just turn turn to them and say "Why do I shave my legs? Why do you do your hair like that, why did you pick that shirt to wear? Because you want to? Well, there's your answer then." All of the VMH's girlfriends and most importantly the VMH like it, and that's as good a reason as any for me!
Excellent! Great news, to be sure.
I began shaving my guns maybe 18 months ago and didn't even question continuing during the winter. Sure, I was covered head to toe for six degree riding and no one could see; but I knew it. I couldn't bear the thought of looking down and seeing hairy pins... No, these babies will remain clean 365/24.
Besides, leg warmers feel better against skin.
Oh, I'll take the increase in time as well. That's a nice bonus to.
Guns. Would you put hair on a Howitzer? No. I rest my case.
What about shaved arms?
Shaved legs is about tradition for me. Every thing else is an added benefit.
@DCR
skin suits have long sleeves.
@Beers
Plenty of footballers are looking pretty hairless as well these days, Ronaldo, and Sanchez come to mind, Nobody has given me shit for it in a long time.