Categories: The Rules

Rule #33 Dilemmas

Look good to feel good.

As I write this, Rule #33 is being hammered on over in The Rules. This is a hell of a Rule, demanding legs be kept shaven at all times. I believe for most Velominati “at all times” is a tough ask. No one is saying you have to shave the guns everyday, unless you have Peter van Petegem’s five o’clock shadow twenty minutes after your morning’s shave.

If you have never done it for whatever reason, you owe it to yourself to try it once. It doesn’t reflect on your sexuality and it’s only hair, it’ll grow back. It will grow back unless you wax your legs and that might be a bit too much of an introduction. Me, I’ve never waxed anything but skis.

I think most cyclists who have never shaved their legs want to experience it but fear the awkward explanations. And it only becomes more awkward if you try to over-explain it. Plain and simple it looks awesome. It looks great like new handlebar tape looks great. And like new handlebar tape, everything keeps looking awesome with some basic maintenance. Forget the long-winded, hand-waving explanations. Most curious people are afraid to ask anyway because it’s politically insensitive to impugn your potential cross-dressing interests. They don’t want to take that chance. Cyclists put in untold hours on the road and nothing is more demoralizing than seeing sweaty, hairy legs down there.

I don’t race. I try to adhere to Rule #33 purely on aesthetic grounds. If I look better on the bike, I will feel better on the bike. Shaved legs do feel better and look better so give it a try. Does that make me a poser? I really don’t care if someone thinks that.

One thing I would love to find out is when do retired professionals stop shaving? I’m sure it’s a chore they fantasize about not keeping up with but really, if they still ride do they still shave? Robert Millar, please advise.

The weird thing is I live in a climate where shorts are most always worn so I see a lot of legs but the weird thing is more guys shave their legs than there are Cyclists out there. The is a subset of men who are naturally hairless or who are shaving their legs despite showing no other outward signs of throwing a leg over a top tube with regularity. I’m afraid to find out more.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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LawnCzar says:

Feb 13 2016 at 8:10 am

I shaved in high school (and rode my bike to school most days). Caught some crap from some people, but nobody whose opinion I cared about. The cool people thought it was cool that I thought it was cool. And then we worked on our bikes and listened to Primus and it was good.

This year I stopped shaving for the off season (tights, vain hope that the hair might be a bit warmer, etc), but now that we've had a day where shorts were the best option, it's time.
Neil says:

Feb 13 2016 at 9:59 am

Just to set the cat amongst the pigeons but....

Surely if we shave our legs then we should shave our arms too. All the 'reasons' for shaved legs (easier to rub in deep heat or sun screen, easier to clean in case of crash, aerodynamics, etc) apply just as much to arms as they do to legs.
Gianni says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:14 am

@EBruner

@Sparty

I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face when I came home to visit during college and I had shaved legs and an earring. My father, being an ex-Marine, is never one to mince words or stifle his opinion, but he was silent. He walked away and a short time later returned with a pink razor and my mother’s jewelry box. I quickly grew out of the Pantani earring phase, but still shave the guns. When my teammates entered a race near where I grew up, we stayed with my parents that weekend. My father placed a jar of pink razors in the guest bathroom. Most years, my father will stuff a pink razor into my Christmas gift.

Kind of a cross between Breaking Away and American Beauty.

And The Great Santini.

@Sparty

That is a beautiful story. Those family interactions are the real awkward ones: father in law, grandfathers, it can be a tough sell.
universo says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:31 am

Have not even considered it since tearing down the MX Leader in November. Now #1 is returning next week and there won't be a second thought about it.
universo says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:33 am

While you're at it, consider shaving your back.
Joe Cline says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:33 am

I hate shaving, I'll let my face go for days, to the point of looking homeless.

My legs? Never. Two days max.
universo says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:35 am

@chuckp

To shave or not to shave … that is the question. I shave year round. And even when I was off the bike for 15+ years after I quit racing before I got back on in 2014, I still shaved. If you have any self respect for your guns, you shave. Honestly, I don’t even know why this is a question or issue.

You're not respecting your guns by being off the bike. There are no guns while off – out of business.
universo says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:39 am

@LawnCzar

... we worked on our bikes and listened to Primus and it was good.

All-road gruppo is about to inaugurate // consecrate a route named PRIMUS 60 on March 12.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:39 am

@LawnCzar

And then we worked on our bikes and listened to Primus and it was good.

Yes. Very good.
universo says:

Feb 13 2016 at 10:41 am

@Joe Cline

I hate shaving, I’ll let my face go for days, to the point of looking homeless.

My legs? Never. Two days max.

Castaway Ciclismo look happening as well.