Rule #33 Dilemmas
As I write this, Rule #33 is being hammered on over in The Rules. This is a hell of a Rule, demanding legs be kept shaven at all times. I believe for most Velominati “at all times” is a tough ask. No one is saying you have to shave the guns everyday, unless you have Peter van Petegem’s five o’clock shadow twenty minutes after your morning’s shave.
If you have never done it for whatever reason, you owe it to yourself to try it once. It doesn’t reflect on your sexuality and it’s only hair, it’ll grow back. It will grow back unless you wax your legs and that might be a bit too much of an introduction. Me, I’ve never waxed anything but skis.
I think most cyclists who have never shaved their legs want to experience it but fear the awkward explanations. And it only becomes more awkward if you try to over-explain it. Plain and simple it looks awesome. It looks great like new handlebar tape looks great. And like new handlebar tape, everything keeps looking awesome with some basic maintenance. Forget the long-winded, hand-waving explanations. Most curious people are afraid to ask anyway because it’s politically insensitive to impugn your potential cross-dressing interests. They don’t want to take that chance. Cyclists put in untold hours on the road and nothing is more demoralizing than seeing sweaty, hairy legs down there.
I don’t race. I try to adhere to Rule #33 purely on aesthetic grounds. If I look better on the bike, I will feel better on the bike. Shaved legs do feel better and look better so give it a try. Does that make me a poser? I really don’t care if someone thinks that.
One thing I would love to find out is when do retired professionals stop shaving? I’m sure it’s a chore they fantasize about not keeping up with but really, if they still ride do they still shave? Robert Millar, please advise.
The weird thing is I live in a climate where shorts are most always worn so I see a lot of legs but the weird thing is more guys shave their legs than there are Cyclists out there. The is a subset of men who are naturally hairless or who are shaving their legs despite showing no other outward signs of throwing a leg over a top tube with regularity. I’m afraid to find out more.
I shave them about every 4-5 days. Year round.
After 25 years of cycling, I just started doing this about six months ago. It feels great, looks great, and makes me ride better (well, maybe). I need no other reason.
Got made fun of mercilessly in grad school. Such are the trials.
As Homer Simpson said, I’m kind of like Jesus but not in the sacrilegious way.
In the summer I shave my legs 2 times a week, in the winter just once a week (the day I have my group indoor training ;) )
Met Will Frischkorn in Colorado a couple of summers ago. He and his wife had biked over the divide from Boulder to Fraser and were staying at the same B&B as us. They carried a change of clothes and toothbrushes, and biked back over the next day. Will had that hairy mountain biker look.
BTW, very cool folks. If you’re in Boulder you have to check our their charcuterie “Cured.”. Amazing flavors.
Met Andy H in Boulder on the same trip. I was so in awe I didn’t even notice if he had shaved legs or not….
I love the feel of my shaven legs. So smooth … until they are not and then they itch like a bitch!!! But, just reminds me to shave again.
And Gianni, Chapeau for the Peter Van Petegem shout-out! Love that guy! He was tough as nails and rode during a very rough time with Johann Museeuw in his prime and Tommeke up-and-coming.
And fuck if he wasn’t ripped to shreds as well! Looks at all four of those guns!
!
I will confess that I stop shaving around mid-November and do not resume until late March. I am just that lazy, plus no one can tell whether they’re shaved or not when the tights are worn.
Apparently I’ve evolved out of hairy leggedness. Instead, I’m blessed with a few nearly invisible wind vector detectors. These optimize drafting sweetspot insertion and report V-locity failure with alarming accuracy and frequency.
I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face when I came home to visit during college and I had shaved legs and an earring. My father, being an ex-Marine, is never one to mince words or stifle his opinion, but he was silent. He walked away and a short time later returned with a pink razor and my mother’s jewelry box. I quickly grew out of the Pantani earring phase, but still shave the guns. When my teammates entered a race near where I grew up, we stayed with my parents that weekend. My father placed a jar of pink razors in the guest bathroom. Most years, my father will stuff a pink razor into my Christmas gift.
Thursday is my shave legs day.
Being WC, can you get away with Rule #33 non-compliance?
http://www.bicycling.com/racing/pro-cycling/peter-sagan-races-tour-de-san-luis-with-gasp-hairy-legs
@Sparty
Kind of a cross between Breaking Away and American Beauty.
I’m trying a Phillips IPL for permanent removal at the moment – figure I’ve been waxing/shaving for 2 decades – might as well get rid of it all once and for all.
@gianni: even if you wax for years…it will still grow back! the advantage is that it’s a ‘once-a-month’ thing as opposed to a ‘once-a-week’ with the razor
@sparty: great story!
I started shaving the guns last year partly due to the guidance of this site. I didn’t like the maintenance but liked the feel.
They are now growing back due to pressure from the VMH, and now I look down and think they look messy.
One thing I noticed is that when shaved you don’t feel the headwinds as much. But now you can feel them again like when your mo gets to a certain length.
@Jay I thought that no one would see hairy legs under tights in the winter months but then I went out for a ride on a cold frosty day when the trees and fields were covered in hoar frost only to discover that your wee leg hairs poke out through the tights & get hoary. I’d aced R9 only to be shamed by my lack of adherence to R33…
Listening to Luke Rowe talking about his Classics experience on Mitch Docker’s podcast (https://player.fm/series/life-in-the-peloton-117489) as I read this article. Luke Rowe says Peter Van Petegem is his Classics idol too. Give the podcast a listen, its interesting.
BTW I’m a year-round Sunday post-ride-shower leg shaver – full groin-to-ankle approach. My wife seems to think that negates her own responsibilities in this area.
Get your trophy and get Rule #33 on!
Unfortunately my legs are so untanned they look like ghost legs. If they even look at the sun they burn bright red. Such is the life on the northern hemisphere.
The is a subset of men?
I think you overlooked the #1 rule, to always proofread what you publish
getting kitted up while being Rule #33 compliant is a much more pleasurable experience, vice not being Rule #33 compliant and knowing what type of failure your ride is automatically going to be, unless you (@sthilzy) are Peter Sagan, and clearly is not in rule violation because he “can dish out plenty of hurt to shaved riders”.
To shave or not to shave … that is the question. I shave year round. And even when I was off the bike for 15+ years after I quit racing before I got back on in 2014, I still shaved. If you have any self respect for your guns, you shave. Honestly, I don’t even know why this is a question or issue.
I shaved in high school (and rode my bike to school most days). Caught some crap from some people, but nobody whose opinion I cared about. The cool people thought it was cool that I thought it was cool. And then we worked on our bikes and listened to Primus and it was good.
This year I stopped shaving for the off season (tights, vain hope that the hair might be a bit warmer, etc), but now that we’ve had a day where shorts were the best option, it’s time.
Just to set the cat amongst the pigeons but….
Surely if we shave our legs then we should shave our arms too. All the ‘reasons’ for shaved legs (easier to rub in deep heat or sun screen, easier to clean in case of crash, aerodynamics, etc) apply just as much to arms as they do to legs.
@EBruner
And The Great Santini.
@Sparty
That is a beautiful story. Those family interactions are the real awkward ones: father in law, grandfathers, it can be a tough sell.
Have not even considered it since tearing down the MX Leader in November. Now #1 is returning next week and there won’t be a second thought about it.
While you’re at it, consider shaving your back.
I hate shaving, I’ll let my face go for days, to the point of looking homeless.
My legs? Never. Two days max.
@chuckp
You’re not respecting your guns by being off the bike. There are no guns while off – out of business.
@LawnCzar
All-road gruppo is about to inaugurate // consecrate a route named PRIMUS 60 on March 12.
@LawnCzar
Yes. Very good.
@Joe Cline
Castaway Ciclismo look happening as well.
Spot on article. Don’t even get into conversation about it. You shave your guns, it’s your choice. People ask me why all the time, I tell them it’s both correct and out of respect, end of conversation. I ride with guys who don’t shave and are often quicker than me, that is not the point. Correct and Respect, that is my mantra.
@Neil
Please, just don’t bring facts and logic into this. That will only really mess things up.
I shave my legs (I can’t bring myself to call them guns) for longer than I care to remember. And nobody ever asked my why…
As anyone who read my comment to @Gianni ‘s post about wearing gloves may recall, I was taught to ride by a trio of oldsters with a penchant for dictatorial pronouncements. “You will shave your legs,” came soon after, “you will wear gloves” and “you will hold your line”. I was sixteen at the time and when I emerged from the bathroom and my father saw my freshly shaven, toilet paper nick patched legs there was a long silence while he looked and finally asked, “Is there something you want to tell me?”
The oldsters never provided any why info when making pronouncements. Why came later, preceded by them asking me if I’d reached any conclusions about why on my own. In this case, I hadn’t thought about why and after that long silence I answered my father with my first guess as to why, “Because I’m a cyclist.”
Explaining it to my girlfriend was easy, though she did insist I shave no less frequently than every other day to prevent the remarkable prickliness of my stubble from sanding her legs to a rashy pulp.
In truth – if I had my druthers I wish the hair would never come back. I find it cooler, more comfortable, and think it looks better. I also remember the pain of of raspberries oozing and scabbing over hairy legs from my baseball years so the practical aspects of heat reduction and road rash management also play a part.
@teleguy57
That reminds me I did see Andy H here on Maui, he was riding on a tour with Ryder and I believe he had furry legs. He was so laid back, no flash, only a cycling fanatic would have recognized him.
@TheAnvil
You were lucky to have some guidance by the oldsters, who I bet were all of 18. I believe Frank’s fucking father showed/told him to do it! How is that?
@Gianni
That explains A LOT!
When attending parties populated with non-cycling folk, when they hear you are a bike racer they would
immediately ask 2 questions:
1. do you think Lance doped?
2. do you shave your legs?
Obviousy, #1 is no longer in play, so all the attention is placed squarely on the guns.
56 years old and have been shaving for 30 years. Now, when I wait a few days in between shaves is when I get asked ” Have you quit cycling”? Guns still look great at my advanced age!
@TheAnvil
@TheAnvil
I had a very similar experience. I was 16, and a butcher in our little town was the only cyclist I knew. I hung to his wheel by a thread. There were certain truths.
Racers used Sewups.
We shaved our legs.
Campagnolo was the only option.
Helmets were stupid.
We hated Tourers.
@EBruner
Helmets were stupid. How dumb.
@emerson
Hey, it was 1984.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve had to start shaving higher and higher. Else I get the ol’ peanut butter in the shag carpet syndrome when visiting the loo.
@EBruner
I remember when we all thought like that!
As to the question at hand (or foot?) I have not shaved since I hung up the race wheels… yes I miss the feel, the look and worst of all the respect. After 2 years in Miami I toy with the idea, even to the point of floating a small balloon past the VHM as to why it would be a good idea. She points out that I ride that dam bike too much anyway and I don’t race any more so why would I do something that raises more questions about my attachment to masculinity?
A Goal is what would put me back in the tub with a pink razor. The last one was the 200 on 100 ride. But events like that do not come about often and somehow down in the flat lands 250 km rides are easy to come by. So unless I go for the hour (the only goal is to out distance Frank’s mark) or start lining up again (not happening unless retirement and divourse happen) I will live with the shame.
Serious cyclists shave their legs for the same reason someone who wants a job wears a suit to the interview. It’s just that simple…
@Neil
Pipe down, you.
@Rob
I like your idea for a Velominati Hour, I shave, I also live in a temperate climate and wear shorts most days, fucked if I’m going to shave my legs and hide them in trousers.
@piwakawaka
Yes on that, shaved and shorts are the way to go. I do remember the feeling of fresh shaved and long pants or sheets!
A Velominati hour on festum-prophetae where we all attempt it for bragging rights. Right here I lay it down that I can beat Frank’s time.
@Neil
Nope, as the post says, it’s for looks. That’s what I tell people I meet. I think all those other reasons are just made up to try to justify it to those who don’t understand
@Rob
Well his time would be one hour…