The boys discussing #43.
I wonder if Rule #43 should be sublimated on our bibs too. It might be my most favorite Rule. Don’t be a jackass. But if you absolutely must be a jackass, be a funny jackass. Always remember, we’re all brothers and sisters on the road.
As a Keeper on the Velominati site, it irritates me that the Velominati are known mostly for The Rules. While we didn’t invent them nor were we the first to list them, our proselytizing has made us synonymous with The Rules. I would hate for us to be known as the exclusive Cyclists rather than the funny Cyclists.
Frank started this site to write about and discuss the beauty of cycling; The Rules were never part of the plan. If someone wants to start something Rules-wise with me, they better hand me the list because I don’t know them. I might possibly have been a more religious person if it all weren’t so deadly serious. And yes, my inability to take things seriously has been brought up too often, usually at annual performance reviews. But I grew up with the daily option of nuclear annihilation hanging over my head. Us kids all started to talk like French philosophers, at eight years old, smoking cigarettes and asking, mon dieu, what iz ze point of life, eh? Our local cub scout pack just fell apart after a few months… really, earning patches to sew on our uniforms? It made no sense to us young nihilists. Zere is no patch for digging an impromptu bomb shelter? Ahh, fuck it, let’s go out into the woods and smoke more cigarettes.
While I occasionally worry about The Rules smothering all other things Velominati, that worry is always quickly buried by the funny back and forth on the site. While some cycling sites are heavily moderated or troll filled, Velominati seems to thrive on the uncensored winding up. We realize arguing about riding one’s bike could make us all seem like jackasses, but at least we are funny jackasses. Long live Rule #43.
And to prove my point, if I had one… this.
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View Comments
@Slowtrane
Sparty bought off a lot of violations when he used a chair to knock the cap off a beer bottle, then drain it after winning The Ronde in 2014. What a man.
More old school rules right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgMYKNoCXFs
And remember kids: “Riding without holding the handlebars is about as clever as giving a balloon to a hedgehog”
@Gianni
With this lot? You were really worried?
@Neil
This movie has so many funny lines in it and that is one of them. Mandrake/Peter Sellers absorbing that madman's story, it's pure genius. I have probably put too many links to Dr Strangelove on this site but Frank loves the movie too so I'm safe.
@ErikdR
The jury is still out on my 'taking things less seriously' has been a good idea. It's no way to build a career unless one is a comedian, which I'm not. And yes, I'll tell people my tall opinionated Dutch cycling friends back me up on this. That should end most discussions.
@Teocalli
That keeps things simple! Nice way to go about things.
@wiscot
Hell, that was awesome!
As for Gianni's ramblings ... Spot on. Too often if someone sees me in the V kit and they are cyclists, they go off on how the site is so stupid and Nazi, etc. All they know are "The Rules" and they hate them and the idea of them.
Of course, less than 1% have actually hung around the site, checked out a few articles and realized that at its heart, it is all about reverence for the bike and the history of this glorious sport.
No I am not a complete heretic, I am not going all Martin Luther in the 16th century, but it does seem like a good idea to somehow propagate the true mission of the site; the love of the bike and other Velominatus, and get pass the Rules-centric thoughts.
So go forth and spread the V, not The Rules, eh?
@Gianni
Yes! This movie is pure-fuckin-genius. I own it and I have been debating how old the velominippers have to be before I can show it to them and have them appreciate it. content be damned, not worried about that, I just do not want to show it to them and have them go, "Ah, that was boring,weird shit" and not GET the movie. Brilliant stuff!
@Ron
I think your #2 point should be sent to Maria Sharapova! It's one thing getting busted, but when the governing body give your repeated notices 4 months before something goes on the banned list and you and your entourage all fail to pay attention, then you get what you deserve. Maybe she thought she was too big to fail, too pretty to dump. Must be a lot of tennis players scanning that list right now.
@Buck Rogers
Hear hear! You're right, the uninitiated hear "Velominati" and think Rule Nazis. You'd think you had to take some kind of oath to be allowed to register or something.
Without rules you have chaos and anarchy. That applies to all aspects of life and not just the bike. I think it's quite simple: the rules just help you become a better cyclist and, by extension, a better person.