Rule #5: Racing Hoogerland-Style

Photo: The Atlantic

Johnny Hoogerland, on receiving the Tour de France Rule #5 Award:

I normally don’t drink that much beer anymore but having my first off-season beer in this glass makes it taste great. I moved to my new home and will find it a great place because it honors my way of racing.

Fitting words from the man on track to take over the mantle of Hardest Man In Cycling from Jens Voigt after he retires. I’m shocked, however, at the claim that he doesn’t drink much beer. Partly because beer rules, and partly because I’m flummoxed by what kind of post-ride recovery drink he has if not beer.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Dr C says:

Dec 3 2011 at 12:59 am

@RedRanger

I'm confused based on the fact that he is Belgian. Thanks for sharing his reply.

I thought he was Dutch....they are the only cyclists on the planet who don't wish they were Belgian

I shall casually and deliberately wear my Hoogerland Heroes T-shirt today in due reverence

I see he wears the same shoes as me.....of course, mine aren't smeared in blood like his are - hardest of Hardmen
Dr C says:

Dec 3 2011 at 1:12 am

Doh! read the last post first DC numbnuts

I think we should be honoured that he took his FIRST post season beer from the hallowed vessel - especially, though I don't believe him, he doesn't drink much beer - maybe he only drinks bull's blood?

Talking of big drinkers, I was surprised to read just what a boozer Twiggo is, or was - sounds like he drank the Atlantic Ocean after his 2004 Olympic Gold and didn't sober up for 7 months, whilst soaking up the glory - the depression this instilled in him (maybe combined with coming last, nursing his hangover, in all the races he did during that binge), was driven home by attending the BBC Sports Personailty Awards that winter, as one of only three triple medallists from the GB Team, only to be ignored as they interviewed the other two sitting beside him, and was then ordered to go and sit at the back of the auditorium.....

Suffice to say he seems to have learned his lesson - though things didn't improve immediately, as his obsession for collecting things in his cellar - he has 8 awesome guitars, and endless priceless boxing memorabilia - then moved onto collecting Belgian beers - he reckoned he had over 365 (the alleged number that exist) different brews, which he felt was better value and more affordable than wine collecting, after a trip to Belgium with a van, only to discover several months later, that he had drunk them all

I do like him, even though he is an awful bollocks
snoov says:

Dec 3 2011 at 1:14 am

Thanks @frank for letting us know he responded. Johnny was so full of awesome and magnanimity in the post stage interviews I had tears in my eyes. In fact the interview I have in mind should be the definition for magnanimous and to my ear, Dutch people speaking English sounds great (actually so do most foreigners to my ear).

To me it's no surprise to hear that he doesn't drink much beer. Alcohol is a toxin, although due to the history of Europe where our ancestors sanitised their drinking water by distilling we have developed a tolerance to it. In the Far East where their ancestors made Tea instead, they don't have the same tolerance for alcohol. The toxicity of alcohol draws me to the conclusion that any truly dedicated professional sportsman, while involved in some sort of tournament like a Grand Tour or Rugby World Cup for example, would naturally avoid alcohol in order to perform at their absolute best. Take the poor showing of England's rugby team just a few months ago as an example, some of them were drinking too much.

Of course we are not pros, and we don't represent our countries and have the hopes of millions watching and supporting us. We love bikes, we love riding them to the best of our abilities and having a few beers after. It's all about the bike for us and the fitness might not even come second. For Johnny and his professional peers the fitness is obviously far more important.

Saying that, he probably drinks wine instead of beer.
il ciclista medio says:

Dec 3 2011 at 3:30 am

It was given to him in honour of his TDF rule 5ing of the ultimate kind and it will now find a place in his new home to honour his style of racing; just how fitting is that? Mr. Hoogerland....respect.
Souleur says:

Dec 3 2011 at 5:50 am

You know, frank you may have persuaded me on something here. That is a great photo. I have not ridden white socks in a over decade, but I may have to go back now. All because just in case I crash, and have blood all over, it just looks damn tough on white socks.
ChrisO says:

Dec 3 2011 at 6:11 am

@Dr C

... he reckoned he had over 365 (the alleged number that exist) different brews, which he felt was better value and more affordable than wine collecting, after a trip to Belgium with a van, only to discover several months later, that he had drunk them all
I do like him, even though he is an awful bollocks

Clearly a man fashioned after Northern Ireland's most famous son. "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars... the rest I wasted."
Dr C says:

Dec 3 2011 at 6:47 am

@ChrisO

@Dr C

... he reckoned he had over 365 (the alleged number that exist) different brews, which he felt was better value and more affordable than wine collecting, after a trip to Belgium with a van, only to discover several months later, that he had drunk them allI do like him, even though he is an awful bollocks

Clearly a man fashioned after Northern Ireland's most famous son. "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars... the rest I wasted."

That'll be same chap who was caught canoodling on a bed covered in £10 notes (in the 70s) in a hotel, with the, at the time, Miss World - the janitor, being a United fan just tutted at him, "George, where did it all go wrong?"
Roadslave525 says:

Dec 3 2011 at 10:02 am

@frank AWESOME that you got a response, and very cool

@Dr. C one of the many reasons I love the Modfather is his quote that "when I'm on, I'm really on; but when I'm off, I can go seriously off the rails". A man after my own heart: no in-built 'stop' button
SurLaPlaque says:

Dec 3 2011 at 10:03 am

The picture says it all.

Blood on his guns. And most of all SUR LA PLAQUE.
Gianni says:

Dec 3 2011 at 11:05 am

A hardman who writes a thank you note. I was impressed before this but now I'm stunned. And Frank you are a stud for having made and sent him the glass. Nice work all around.

@Dr C
Nice Twiggo story. Yeah, one has to love him for all his wrinkles. His bad haircut is canceled out by his love of guitars. It would be fun to see him finally kill it in the TdF which he might do this year with all the TT going on. And fun to see the trouble of having Cav on the same team.