Given the fact that everyone over-tightens their pedals to the crank arms, one needs a long lever to get too much torque. Rule #94 decrees using the correct tool and using it correctly. While the proper tool has always been available, it is up to us to evolve, to understand the difference between right and wrong, between vice-grip and open-ended wrench. And to understand that there is a large gulf between the right tool for the job and the best tool for the job.
Early in the Velominatus life cycle, the bicycle and its pedals arrived as one, fully formed. We were not removing and rebuilding our tricycle pedals. Our first “starter bike” ten-speed also came with “starter” pedals but the pedal, as an obvious point of contact with the pavement, might have demanded replacement. Replacing a pedal would happen long before rebuilding one. Removing the ruined one would only require a wrench and assuming the V-father was not a mechanic, the adjustable wrench was the only tool in the box. Here the Pedalwan uttered his or her first curse words. The jaws of the adjustable wrench may have been a bit too fat and a bit too loose to do the job. Turning the left pedal ever tighter (the wrong direction?), instead of looser, a wrench might slip, a pedal surface damaged and perhaps blood was spilled. What better reason to curse your god? What better reason to wonder about a better tool while holding your bloody hand under the faucet?
If you had a savvy father who owned a set of open-ended wrenches and entertained the possibility that a pedal could be reverse-threaded, you were of the chosen few.
The correctly sized open-ended wrench is the right tool for the job.
Campagnolo made a bottom bracket fixed cup/pedal tool. Though not their most beautiful one, it was the right tool. When over-torquing a pedal, one gripped the fixed cup end of the tool. Biomechanically, it was imperfect. Park Tool improved on it by including a comfortable and longer hand grip for efficient over-torquing. Not unlike General Motors, at some point Park Tool quietly modified their pedal wrench. I don’t think they came right out and said “For the unfortunate many who now have permanent scarring on their right hand from driving the big ring teeth deep into your flesh, we are sorry.” If the Velominati were still “saving themselves” from using the worst kind of anglo-saxon curses uttered in their lives, misusing the Park pedal wrench would guarantee a trip to Father Flavin’s Confessional Booth. “For fuck’s sake Father, pardon me Father, but I’ll have a greasy tattoo scar across my knuckles forever because of this shiet, pardon me Father, wrench”.
Incorporating a beer bottle opener into various tools did not occur to the engineers at Park Tool. And this is why we love Lezyne so much. Yes, it is more expensive and yes, it is a better pedal wrench and yes, they mill a beautiful bottle opener into it. To hold it is to love it. It is Rule #94. It is not just the right tool for the job, for there are many functional pedal wrenches available but it is the best one for the job. Even without the bottle opener it would still be the best pedal wrench. Its handle and heft make it an item one would happily wield to slaughter the advancing hoards of the undead. If, in the slaughtering, either the handle or the business end gets worn down, it comes apart and one end or the other could be replaced. When the slaughtering is done, at least for now, (because that job is seemingly never really done), one can open a fine cold beer with it and debate if this tool is the correct one for this job.
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@Gianni
I have the dual sided Crombie here at the the shop...the VMH got it for me as a Christmas present. Best tool I have hands down. The beauty of it is that it fits over the qr nub...no need to pull the qr to change cassettes...that saves an amazing large amount of time in the life of a shop mechanic!
I agree the Lezyne is nice looking, but I contend that a cast Snap-On combination wrench, polished to mirror shine, is an object to be far more desired. I was one of those fortunates who had a tool-savvy father. As an example, at age 15 I sandblasted a frame down to bare metal, welded a fabricated piece onto the chainstays for a bottom-mounted caliper, and sprayed the whole thing with a coat of white pearl before re-assembly.
@Haldy
@ChrisO Nice, I have evolved to a similar technique by Tria
@ChrisO
Nice ... I landed on this technique through trial and error over 25 years, I was doing it subconsciously but never realized it until I read your post... On another note my brother used to work a large bike shop and used to have people coming in with broken cone wrenches demanding free replacements almost everyday, to which he promptly replied "you weren't by chance trying to take your pedals off with it were you?" ....
Cheers @Gianni - this article brought a welcome blast of mirth and some pleasant musing at the end of a very long working day. Great stuff!
Damn, I feel as if I'm late for the big spring kickoff party! Beers, tools, bottle openers disguised as bike tools...
My Shimano set (pic hopefully posted successfully) is more than a uni-tasker but evolution means that I don't have the opportunity to work on threaded headsets or cup and cone bottom brackets very often at all. The pedal spanner is the only one that gets much use. I'm still looking for that humungus beer bottle that will be opened by the closed 36mm end. Crank position key to keeping knuckle skin intact. There are many more suitable tools in the shed for dealing with the undead. Like a ladder. Zombies can't climb can they?
@DeKerr
Tell me about it...I plan on getting the Derailleur alignment gauge sometime soon. I have the BB tool as well.
@ChrisO
They must suck if Cancellara uses them to crush his enemies and to hear the lamentation of zee women.
@ChrisO
For consideration, would there be a use for teflon thread tape on newly installed pedals? And here is another character-building tool/activity -- and the tool itself has character.
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