Nothing says “amateur” more than an imperfect handlebar tape job, a dirty bike or a nasty grimy chain. Conversely, a clean bike feels faster. And new handlebar tape and a clean chain imbue a rider with extra fortitude and a little extra snap in the legs.
The professionals don’t need to wrap their own bars-they have full- time mechanics who can do it blindfolded. No matter how carefully I did my handlebar tape around shop owner George, he would regard the job, and then cruelly shoot me a look that said “amateur!” I have studied him wrapping tape. It looks effortless and he might also be talking to a customer, mocking a minion, his mind on many things – but the final result is perfection.
This drives me crazy.
It should not be so hard. I replace my tape maybe two or three times a year, just seldom enough to forget how to do it properly.
The Velominati have spent a lot of energy debating bike color co-ordination (see Rule eight) and I had a bad tire/tape issue, so I had to go white (I don’t do black tape). There is no doubt white looks great; the question is how long will it look great?
The bike shop I like to use, close to us, did not carry my favorite Fizik tape. It is bombproof and magically never ever gets dirty. So I bought what they carried, some white Deda tape.
I stripped off the old and tried to put on the new. After three attempts of rewrapping with more tension and less overlap each time, I was still short on one side. The tape was so stretched I might as well have been wrapping my bars with plastic wrap or the old Benotto cello tape. Son-of-a-bee-aatch!! (F’ing Italians, would it kill them to give me another few centimeters? The other side was better – could they be different lengths? F’ing Italians!) The only way to make it even meant both sides ended up short and too far from the stem-completely unacceptable! This put me in a mood most foul.
I called the other shop within riding distance, a Specialized shop, and was told they had three kinds of white Specialized tape. Three kinds- really? Of course when I got there, it wasn’t so-but the one they did carry has rocked my world. Specialized S-Wrap Classic 3 ply fake leather with some sweet dot perforations. It is $25 but supplies more than enough tape for the perfect wrap. It’s mighty fine looking and feels perfect; perfect cushion, perfect grip, oh, I’m in love. But, will it stay white? How bad will it look in a month? Two weeks of fair weather riding leaves the tape still bright white.
Again Specialized has impressed me with their form and function. I have some Specialized S-Works road shoes and a pair of their leg warmers and they are great. Their glue-less inner tube patches: the jury is out. Sure they lose some cachet because their items are made in China not Italy but until the Italians give me a little more tape, I’m an S-Wrap boy.
*Is it wrong to be this excited about handlebar tape? Is it dangerous to ask this question? I’m hesitant to answer either of these. And yes, Rules violations in photo, how many can you find?
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
Those tyres are a violation unto themselves!
Saddle bag. Frame pump. Red tape on seatpost. Black saddle/white tape (but that's becoming acceptable)... shitty Easton bar and stem.
@brett
True
yes, yes, yes, maybe, whatever, hey, the Easton bars are carbone...does that not make then un-shitty? Or is the bend unacceptable?
@brett
And there is a Campy sticker on the seat tube, that must be a violation but I'm too lazy to go through the Rules to find out. Also, there is a thin spacer between the headset and the stem, unseen. Fuck it, I'm a sinner.
John, it is a requirement that all Velominati are this excited over taping issues. Absorb Brett's reaction. Those of lesser passion would not react thus. It is our way.
Myself, I learned from the master. And I mean The Master when it comes to taping the bars. This gent came from South Limberg (of Amstel fame) - near the Belgian border. He spoke with a "soft g" (Brett, ask Marjolein about this the zacht g) but the dood was a stud. Head mechanic for Helvecia La Suisse, picked up my dad's custom Merckx from Merckx himself at the factory. STUD. Dude trued wheels with a custom stand fixed with a micrometer.
He taught me all about the art of taping, "The most important part of the bike is where you touch it - that means the saddle and the bars. The tape and saddle must be perfect." This was the days of full leather saddles and he taught me to grease the saddle so it gleamed just so. Slick enough to slide, but sticky enough for grip. And the tape. It is artwork. I absorbed it all like a 17 year old girl who snuck into a bar on prom night absorbs booze. To this day, I'll take anyone on in a bar taping challenge.
You see, my dad, on a return trip to Dutchland with the bike - to ride Liege with me - insisted on having him mount and tape a set of Scott Drop-ins. An abomination, yes, but also a challenge to wrap. You think your Italian Douches at Deda didn't leave you enough tape? Try taping a bar with Cinelli that has a whole extra length of shitty, useless tubing on it? Well, this artisian taught me to splice two rolls of tape together without so much as a lump. It was inspirational. I'll get some photos scanned when next I return home.
@brett
No rule against tape on the seatpost.
@john
The tires are...unacceptable. Switch them immediately. The only redeeming fact is that they are Stelvios. Not a fan of the stem, but I have those bars on one of my bikes and I love 'em. They were state of the art at the time, and I still appreciate the additional positions the extra bend give 'em.
I won't dump those bars till I break 'em.
*SLAP!!* John! Wake up!! One must never be "too lazy" to go through the rules. It is not a sticker if it is "campy" and thus it is not in violation of anything other than the unwritten rule of being "too awesome"!
You must be delirious from your intense effort of write this excellent post!
Ok, the bars are fine, but the stem is U G L Y, you ain't got no alibi.
Tape on the post? hmmm, ok, if you must, but black only. How often are you guys taking your seatpost out anyway?
And John, great post, love the passion for the taping. Josh, sometime reader and poster here and my workmate, is a master taper, from his junior days at a shop where he was "tape bitch".
@frank
och aye, tires are cast offs from wife's Merlin, still usable...hence the Rules 8 troubles. I'm HOT to go tubeless via new Campy "2 way fit" clinchers and Hutchinson tubeless tires but alas, it can't be swung right now. So I reckon I will purchase a pair of new regular clinchers for now. Tire suggestions anyone? I've been a longtime Michelin user, most recently Pro 3.
@brett
You are right, stem is ugly and has shitty rusty chromed bolts, unacceptable. I can afford a new stem, oh goody, I can research new stems. Tape on post comes from shipping bike around a few times a year but that is really not happening either so it can go. Saddle bag could go too, I'll try it but until I go tubeless I am not giving up my frame pump. It's so carbone!
Being "tape bitch" has it's pay-off. You learn the skill.
I hate taping bars. I use black cinelli, once a year, when the weather is foul and perhaps I'm in the grip of some debilitating gripe that has me pinned to the sofa and half-delirious on drugs.
However, I appreciate that I could pay greater respect to the art. Indeed, I'd almost suggest we submit bike pics for the greater moderation, but given that I am, at worse, a serial cross-pollenator of Shimano and Campag products, I fear it may result in ejection from the site...