The Nature of Rule VV

It never gets easier, you just go faster.

– Greg LeMond

Rule #5 looms above the other Rules in terms of sheer relevance to Cycling; it is the fundamental building block upon which this sport is built. The Five is what drives us, it is the force that springs from a well that flows deep within each of us. It must be discovered, and then we learn to use it. Like all wells, our individual Five Well is but an access points into a vast source, one that flows unseen between many other wells and is spread over enormous distances. The Five binds us all together as brothers and sisters along the path to La Vie Velominatus; we may learn to access The V and we may learn to use it but we can never control it.

If Rule #5 is the fundamental building block of our sport, then Rule #10 is its fundamental application. There is a climb I frequently ride that starts from the Twentynine Pines Campground on the Teanaway Road North Fork Road out of Cle Elum that snakes up to Esmeralda Basin at the foot of the Enchantments (which is possibly the most beautiful place on Earth). The climb isn’t difficult in itself; 355 meters gained over 15 kilometers on good gravel at a modest alpine elevation of 800m.

One of the beautiful aspects of climbing is that a moderate gradient can in many ways be more challenging than a steep one; steep slopes will force you to tap into your reserves very quickly, but they also offer no alternative but to continue grinding away. A moderate gradient has more to do with will and determination; the slope doesn’t take its pound of flesh in itself – the difficulty of the climb comes from the willingness of the rider to push themselves into the red through sheer determination.

The climb to Esmeralda Basin starts fast along a faux-plat with lots of washboard that forces the rider to dodge along the road in search of the best surface. By the time the gradient starts to increase, the legs will be dull from dodging through the bumpy terrain and the mind will already feel tired from the strain of concentration, much like it does at the end of a secteur of pavé. At this point, the washboards are more scarce, but the quality of the gravel surface also deteriorates. The high speeds can still be maintained, but this requires immense focus as you still need to pick your line carefully while maintaining the force of the effort and resisting the ever-increasing desire to relent.

The last five kilometers are steeper and on the worst surface, with rain having carved erratic ruts and mud, gravel and debris collecting in loose deltas along their bases. But the various trailheads along the way means the road near the top is lined with cars which make you feel like you’re climbing to a summit finish at the Tour de France; the final push is made easier via a bit of adrenaline from this fantasy, but it only speeds the journey into hypoxia. Into the parking lot at the top, panting like a rabid gorilla cause strangers to peer at you askance wondering if you are dying or just crazy. To most of them, the idea does not occur that you might be both.

It is no coincidence that Rule #5 plus Rule #5 equals Rule #10; how hard a climb is follows from how hard we are willing to push ourselves. There is no such thing as an easy climb; it isn’t the gradient that causes one to suffer – it is magnitude of the effort.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Velominati Super Prestige: The Women's Elite Road Race 2014 »

Previous « David Millar: Stylemeister

View Comments

Teocalli says:

Sep 27 2014 at 11:00 am

@frank

@Brianold55

How do you know its the bottom of the cave? Often we never fully plumb its depth. Unless the bottom is when you're lying by the side of the road

Here's the bottom.

Style/class is collapsing off your bike chain side up?
frank says:

Sep 27 2014 at 11:29 am

@Teocalli

@frank

@Brianold55

How do you know its the bottom of the cave? Often we never fully plumb its depth. Unless the bottom is when you're lying by the side of the road

Here's the bottom.

Style/class is collapsing off your bike chain side up?

Just because you're knackered doesn't give you the right to be a savage, my friend
Ron says:

Sep 27 2014 at 5:24 pm

@frank

@Ron

But, ouch, always forget how hard even a modest climb is when you're on loose gravel. Argh, those are leg breakers.

Up in Winthrop Washington there is the most horrendous sandy gravel I have ever ridden. Its all just barely cohesive enough to give traction when you're seated on the climbs; if you have to move en danseuse, you are pretty much fucked. I love it.

I love this reasoning: "Fuck this climb, I'll stand up. Oh fuck. I have no rear traction. What do I do now? Fuck."
frank says:

Sep 27 2014 at 8:35 pm

@Teocalli

Did a recent foray into France on a Sportive and the last 20 K or so turned into a brutal onslaught of a headwind. Turned some longish but not too steep climbs into real brutes

Steep climbs usually don't have headwinds, because they're steep. More proof that shallow gradients can be real bastards.

@Ccos

@Brianold55 "How do you know its the bottom of the cave?"

When vision gets a bit fuzzy on the periphery and your ears quit working is always a good sign.

For me, my chin starts itching. Its almost like everything else in my body already hurts (the chin-itch comes well past the point where my head starts to feel too heavy to hold up and when my ankles and wrists are screaming).

Its definitely the chin-itch for me. Maybe if I learn to push past that my ears will itch.
frank says:

Sep 27 2014 at 8:37 pm

@ChrisO

This is the Merckx-honest truth right here:

You have to keep changing it around, otherwise you lose as much as you gain.

And recovery can't be overstated. Training = Stress + Recovery.
frank says:

Sep 27 2014 at 8:40 pm

@unversio, @Teocalli

Take it up with my photog, the VMH. I dare you. I'll buy the popcorn.

@Tobin

I dunno...with support like this maybe the ride would be easier?

FUCKING. LOVE. IT.
The Grande Fondue says:

Sep 28 2014 at 1:13 am

@Ccos

@Brianold55 "How do you know its the bottom of the cave?"

When vision gets a bit fuzzy on the periphery and your ears quit working is always a good sign.

This is a real thing BTW.

There is one 4(ish) minute climb here that starts of at 3%, ramps to around 20%, levels off to around 5 and then hits a downhill.

The only way to get a good time is to hit the ramp hard and then hang on until the downhill. That downhill is important because when I start getting tunnel vision I know I'm going to be able to roll down the other side. With no downhill I worry I'm going to collapse.
mikethebike says:

Sep 28 2014 at 3:51 am

Nice piece! Climbing...like time trialing or breakaways. Go as hard as you can without blowing yourself up; and sometimes you must push beyond THAT to discover that you can go harder and survive what you thought would destroy you. Unless that risk is taken over and over, you have no idea what true suffering is, and what your real ability is. Face the fear of going beyond the beyond. Go to Europe and ride amongst the locals....up hill, all day, day after day. You will know your true nature. Or not.
gilly says:

Sep 29 2014 at 3:09 pm

" and resisting the ever increasing desire to relent" you summed it up in 8 words Frank...Chapeau!