Have a look around to see who you find occupying your immediate vicinity. Presently, I am surrounded by a pleasant-seeming bunch. Some are even going so far as to appear happy or at least not displeased; all of them are pale and none of them fit. My attention is drawn, however, to a a portly mustached gentleman who strode into the hotel lobby with an enormous degree of self confidence and who as such feels justified in wearing an ill-fitting t-shirt bearing a phrase which asserts that real men wear orange. While I have no reason to disagree with the assertion, I assume he is optimistic that through wearing said t-shirt, he will be mistaken for a “real man” and is not in fact attempting to disprove the point through contrast.
I’m not picking on this gent not because I’m harboring any sense of ill-will towards him, nor for the fact that he strode into the hotel lobby carrying a twelve pack of Yuengling Black and Tan. I’m picking on him mostly because I have come to understand that “real men” are capable of crushing things like soda cans and their opponents’ Will to Live, while from the looks of it, the only thing he’s crushed lately was a ham sandwich whose remnants I’m fairly certain I spotted on the front of his bright orange t-shirt.
Surprisingly, our Orange Hero isn’t even the most disappointing case in the room I’m occupying. The guy in the camouflage, knee-long shorts and flip-flops is an example at least two degrees worse; if he harbors hopes of blending in to anything – most of all foliage – I suggest he spend some time outside to brew himself up a tan that goes beyond TV Translucent (I’m not sure what the pantone value is for that). He should also try lifting his computer some time, to build muscle mass, rather than wheeling it about in a trolly. But worst of all by a considerable gap is the skinny-fat chap with carefully disheveled hair who is presently chastising the bartender – who is serving free drinks to hotel patrons – for not having his preferred brand of vodka on hand. If this guy took half the time he spent worrying about his hair and invested it in not worrying about his free drink, he’d be three-quarters less of a douche. (My dad would call this guy a zacht gekookt ei, or soft-boiled egg.)
All this to say that as a society we have, by and large, become soft. While I want to be careful not to paint too broadly with that brush as no one is to say what hardships people have been through, on balance we seem to expect to take more and to be asked to give less in return. Our ancestors worked harder than we did, in worse conditions, for less reward but found satisfaction in a job well done and an honest day’s work. Yet today, we are overly dependent on t-shirts to send a message about who we are rather than our actions. We fill our conversations with sentiments of entitlement and rights, when in fact we are entitled to nothing and we have the right only to the things we find within ourselves.
As Cyclists, however easy our lives may be, the bicycle brings us some degree of hardship and struggle. For many of us, our easy lives are what draw us to the bicycle in pursuit of a harder life. This is, of course, in stark contrast that to the riders who came before us, the legion of Fausto Coppi, Rik van Looy, and even the comparatively well-off Eddy Merckx who chose the bicycle as a means of escape from a harder life into an easier one. But nevertheless, it sets us appart. The lessons the bicycle teaches us can be applied to the rest of our lives, and may be used to guide the uninitiated.
Our pets go untrained because we are too busy, distracted, or stressed out to show them the discipline they crave. Our children scream as our dependence on secondary care blurs the boundary between parent and friend. Society’s BMI is pushed ever upward as our appetite for a meal grows inversely with our willingness to exercise. By and large, our dependence on the material is fueled by the immaterial.
No child is too young, no adult too old. This is the time to Obey the Rules, Lead by Example, and Guide the Uninitiated. But most of all, this is the time for us to set an example and have The Talk. The Rule #5 Talk. And remember what Will Fotheringham refers to as Rule #5.b: Eddy Never Complained.
VLVV.
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View Comments
@Oli
Orange t-shirts are awesome. Y'know because the SF Giants are awesome... even though they've kinda sucked since winning their title a few years back.
@The Oracle
I will definitely agree with you there. The world is definitely not what it was even 25 years ago. In some ways, I'm glad of this fact. I'm rather grateful that - even though I was a very rebellious child - my folks showed me the love and discipline I needed to become a fairly level-headed adult.
@Cyclops
That is one Badass photo.
The Rule #5 Talk [photo] stenciled race numbers, handmade, cut to fit [notice 115 vs 2]
@Ron
No flip flops unless your're within 100m of a beach.
It may not be one of the rules but it's certainly a rule somewhere.
Fat owners of small dogs also tend to be the ones who are convinced that their beloved rodent has endearing human qualities. They don't. I'll reserve my real anger for the owners who go to all the effort bagging their dog's shit and then toss it into the bushes. WTF?
If a dog doesn't have a proper role in life (gun dog or sheep bothering) or can't keep up with a bike, it's not worth having.
@frank awesome rant. It's all gone to shit but there's an upside to all of this. when the zombies attack, they'll be too busy feasting on the obese to bother people riding their bikes.
@ChrisO
The kind of shit US hotel a lot of us business travelers spend way too much time in, I'd reckon.
@The Oracle
I think you're misreading. No reasonable person would fault a child for crying, or a parent for being unable to mitigate that event. If I may presume, I think Frank's talking about kids running wild in public, "screaming" their demands at parents who either cater to their whims or attempt to reason with an inherently irrational being (anyone under 12, IMHO). Parent is a verb, too.
I see a lot of parents who get really defensive when this stuff comes up, a la
@The Oracle
Parents all volunteered for this mission. Rule 5 yourself.
A case in point: My wife and I were enjoying lunch last weekend at an outdoor restaurant with our pooches when suddenly a group of 8-9 year olds, who minutes before had been sitting at an adjoining table started chasing each other around the patio, without even a sideways glance from the parents who sat chatting and sipping chardonnay. I understand that it's easy for parents to become immune to the chaos attendant with kids, but fercrissakes, it's a restaurant!
I will say that I see a lot more of this shit in the US than internationally. I'm not sure what's in the literature these days, but it seems a lot of US parents have bought the whole "self-esteem first" hogwash, without comprehending that high self-esteem must be accompanied by achievement, or it means nothing.
Wow, this is a downer thread... excuse me, I'm going to head over to the Giro VSP...
great one Frank
I needed that reminder to just shut the pie hole up as our forefathers indeed didn't complain, and made it happen. thanks for the reminder, and apply liberally Rule 5
that said, I'm outta here
This. Is. Awesome.
Nicely, poetically, directly, inspirationally, and passionately said. Chapeau.
Spandex is a worse look than anything you describe. Cyclist should be the last to judge on public appearance.
@sgt
You'll note that I later acknowledged @The Engine's point that there's a difference between well-brought-up kids having a bad day, and kids who are constantly screaming and demanding, because they suffer from a sense of entitlement for lack of parental supervision. I wasn't misreading @frank's point, and I agree that the sense of entitlement of many in society today can be traced back to poor parental engagement. Rather, I was clarifying that, before snapping to judgment regarding the parents solely on the basis of a screaming kid, you should first consider the context.
I'm certainly not complaining about being a parent--you're right, I made that choice and it was the best decision I've ever made. However, yes, I am sensitive when people (especially people who don't have kids), make negative comments regarding my parenting or parenthood in general, as if they are knowledgable on the subject. I'm sorry, but unless you spend a significant portion of your time caring for children, you really don't have a place at that table.
I'd say that, from your description of your recent restaurant visit, I'd probably question the parenting there as well (alhtough I don't know the details of the area you were eating in, or if the kids were running between the tables or in some other open area adjoining the eating area). When I'm at a restaurant with my kids and they get squirrely, I use it as an opportunity to teach about respect for others. However, despite my best efforts, sometimes my kids are still loud, because kids are kids and cannot always regulate themselves.
Your restaurant experience stands in contrast to my example of the man in the store commenting on my children, despite the fact that I was obviously engaging my kids in an attempt to calm them. Like I said, good kids have bad days, and no amount of parenting is going to be 100% effective in keeping kids well-behaved in public. You say that "No reasonable person would fault a child for crying, or a parent for being unable to mitigate that event," but I can tell you from first-hand experience that you are incorrect--that's exactly what many people (including the guy from my example) do.
"As Cyclists, however easy our lives may be, the bicycle brings us some degree of hardship and struggle. For many of us, our easy lives are what draw us to the bicycle in pursuit of a harder life."
I love and hate my bike at the same time.
"By and large, our dependence on the material is fueled by the immaterial."
Well said!
"All this to say that as a society we have, by and large, become soft."
U.S. is the Fattest County In The World
@Doug
Cyclist appearances in public are foremost. Do not confuse with Lycra. Spandex is for Walmart.