Have a look around to see who you find occupying your immediate vicinity. Presently, I am surrounded by a pleasant-seeming bunch. Some are even going so far as to appear happy or at least not displeased; all of them are pale and none of them fit. My attention is drawn, however, to a a portly mustached gentleman who strode into the hotel lobby with an enormous degree of self confidence and who as such feels justified in wearing an ill-fitting t-shirt bearing a phrase which asserts that real men wear orange. While I have no reason to disagree with the assertion, I assume he is optimistic that through wearing said t-shirt, he will be mistaken for a “real man” and is not in fact attempting to disprove the point through contrast.
I’m not picking on this gent not because I’m harboring any sense of ill-will towards him, nor for the fact that he strode into the hotel lobby carrying a twelve pack of Yuengling Black and Tan. I’m picking on him mostly because I have come to understand that “real men” are capable of crushing things like soda cans and their opponents’ Will to Live, while from the looks of it, the only thing he’s crushed lately was a ham sandwich whose remnants I’m fairly certain I spotted on the front of his bright orange t-shirt.
Surprisingly, our Orange Hero isn’t even the most disappointing case in the room I’m occupying. The guy in the camouflage, knee-long shorts and flip-flops is an example at least two degrees worse; if he harbors hopes of blending in to anything – most of all foliage – I suggest he spend some time outside to brew himself up a tan that goes beyond TV Translucent (I’m not sure what the pantone value is for that). He should also try lifting his computer some time, to build muscle mass, rather than wheeling it about in a trolly. But worst of all by a considerable gap is the skinny-fat chap with carefully disheveled hair who is presently chastising the bartender – who is serving free drinks to hotel patrons – for not having his preferred brand of vodka on hand. If this guy took half the time he spent worrying about his hair and invested it in not worrying about his free drink, he’d be three-quarters less of a douche. (My dad would call this guy a zacht gekookt ei, or soft-boiled egg.)
All this to say that as a society we have, by and large, become soft. While I want to be careful not to paint too broadly with that brush as no one is to say what hardships people have been through, on balance we seem to expect to take more and to be asked to give less in return. Our ancestors worked harder than we did, in worse conditions, for less reward but found satisfaction in a job well done and an honest day’s work. Yet today, we are overly dependent on t-shirts to send a message about who we are rather than our actions. We fill our conversations with sentiments of entitlement and rights, when in fact we are entitled to nothing and we have the right only to the things we find within ourselves.
As Cyclists, however easy our lives may be, the bicycle brings us some degree of hardship and struggle. For many of us, our easy lives are what draw us to the bicycle in pursuit of a harder life. This is, of course, in stark contrast that to the riders who came before us, the legion of Fausto Coppi, Rik van Looy, and even the comparatively well-off Eddy Merckx who chose the bicycle as a means of escape from a harder life into an easier one. But nevertheless, it sets us appart. The lessons the bicycle teaches us can be applied to the rest of our lives, and may be used to guide the uninitiated.
Our pets go untrained because we are too busy, distracted, or stressed out to show them the discipline they crave. Our children scream as our dependence on secondary care blurs the boundary between parent and friend. Society’s BMI is pushed ever upward as our appetite for a meal grows inversely with our willingness to exercise. By and large, our dependence on the material is fueled by the immaterial.
No child is too young, no adult too old. This is the time to Obey the Rules, Lead by Example, and Guide the Uninitiated. But most of all, this is the time for us to set an example and have The Talk. The Rule #5 Talk. And remember what Will Fotheringham refers to as Rule #5.b: Eddy Never Complained.
VLVV.
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@TheStraightBlock
A really egotistical statement. Proof your work before submitting.
@minion
@frank
Jimmy Chamberlain is a great drummer for a junkie.
Danny Carey is the best I've seen though, with honourable mention to Mudhoney's Dan Peters.
And just because it's awesome... Dennis "Machine Gun" Thompson.
Riding today (50km) solo, realized how much respect and disrespect we bend toward people (here) we have not met. Some will remain hell-bent. What's good though is finding that I now take some of the Velominati issues with me on the ride(s) nonetheless. Cycling insight poured over my brain and works to sharpen my weapon -- my form, my bike, my style, and foremost my demeanor (me). So thanx Frank for giving us all this completely "public cycling diary" to write some of the best and senseless stuff. Very cool.
@brett
cheers brett. i totally love MC5, or should that be MCV?
Have you seen the true testimonial documentary? I think it still hasn't been released properly yet but i think you should be able to download somewhere. Its very very good.
Gosh, Rik looks proper in that scan! So sweet.
Danny Carey - incredible! I see TOOL live as often as I can. Amongst a band of very good musicians he stands out. He's stunning.
Good albums - they've gone pear shaped these days, but I remember when a friend gave me Spoon's "Kill the Moonlight." That is a pretty solid album from top to bottom and when I first heard it, and when I hear it now, I'm pretty impressed.
@The Boomstick
You might be surprised to see how few posts were left if only "useful" ones were allowed. I'm happy to admit I can be a dick at times, but at least I admit that. At the end of the day it's just some comments on an internet forum, and I'm sure you've seen far worse than mine even here on this forum. You just need to chill out a bit and ignore me if you don't like me.
@TheStraightBlock
I don't really care if you do or don't like me; I am what I am, and I'm old enough and ugly enough to accept that I won't be all things to all people.
What I am though is someone who speaks from the heart - sometimes I get it right and sometimes I get it wrong. Usually if I get it wrong I'll apologise, but I'm not going to in this case as I feel that my points were valid. Sure, I could have let it go, but I don't see why I should.
I also don't feel I should have to restrict myself to 'inane' cycling facts to participate around here - the discussions that go on around these parts often stray wildly, and that's the fun of conversation. I wasn't retorting to troll or to make anyone angry, just to get my point across after Frank had totally twisted my words - it's a given that some will agree with my stance and some won't.
If we'd been sitting around having a beer together the debate could have been the same, but the rancour you seem to feel most likely wouldn't exist. That's the curse of the intertubes. I can argue till I'm blue in the face about things, but it will be with a smile and a twinkle in my eye and (most importantly) without any expectation of anyone agreeing with me...
Anyway, no hard feeling here so let's all go on about our day and enjoy this cool but sometimes imperfect gathering place.
Cheers, Oli
@Buck Rogers
Thanks Buck.
Unfortunately I've seen your work from a PC as well, and I think its a bit of a generous statement to blame the iPad. Problem Exists Firmly Between Chair and Keyboard, my man.
Not a big fan of the iPad either, though. Handy device for some things (mostly consumption, not creation), but it is not hammer and this site is definitely a nail. Or its a hammer and this site is screwed. Something like that.
@brett
I can't express how glad I am that no one cited Neil Pert as being a good drummer. He is, of course, but he's the Lance Armstrong of drumming. No feel, no art, just precision.
@Buck Rogers
Fair enough. You clearly know him better than I, or have a different cost/benefit analysis. It's just something I had to get off my chest because I honestly think it affects the site for the worse. I guess I also hoped that Oli would at least hear that some people find his tone really inappropriate. I do find it interesting that he can communicate his personal insults (and if you take a bit of time to review, they do become very personal and they're not as infrequent as you may think) with little repercussions from the community. But, wow, if someone calls him out on it, you sure hear about it. Ok, I'm done (breathe).
Apologies, @versio
You'll have to find someone else to shout at! I do find you amusing.
@Oli
Think we crossed posts. Again, fair enough. I do think you become overly personal and aggressive (for some reason, especially against Frank), but evs. I guess that's between you and whomever you're choosing to insult at the time. Just like you, had to communicate my thoughts.