The Rules: Coming to the US May 5

The Rules endpapers

We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kilos meant she didn’t necessarily need to be terrified of things like shadows and doorways. Nevertheless, throughout her life she somehow managed to skirt through challenges completely unscathed, utterly oblivious to her shortcomings. In an effort to immortalize her spirit, the VMH and I have taken to referring to situations where we succeed despite our breathtaking incompetence as being “All Beene”. For example, on the occasion that I skied over a cliff I had failed to notice, subsequently rode my tails through a stand of pine trees at unprecedented speed, and emerged the other end without so much as a hair out of place – that was All Beene.

You might say that Velominati itself is All Beene. We Keepers didn’t intend to become the stewards of class, style, and etiquette on the bike; we just mainlined the Word of the Prophet and the Apostles and jotted it all down. The rest just happened because of the Community who caught on to the fun we were having and joined in. Same goes for our writing; we’re just passionate about this stuff; we obsess about it all the time and want to share our love for the sport with others in the hopes they might identify or – better yet – catch the bug themselves. All the while, the truth is that we have no idea what we’re doing. English isn’t even my first language, for Merckx’s sake.

But the journey continues. The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple was originally released in the Commonwealth on June 20, and surprised us with how well it was received despite various mistakes and errors throughout. In fact, it did well enough that some bright spark got the idea to release the book in our home US market as well, and we subsequently duped WW Norton into bearing that cross.

The Rules will be officially released in the United States on May 5th, 2014. We’ve put quite a lot of work into the US Edition with the following results:

  1. Greg LeMond, the only American Tour de France winner, graciously wrote the Foreword.
  2. We added four new Rules and supporting content, bringing the tally to 95.
  3. We revised some sections like the Prologue because we do what we want.
  4. We stayed sober during the editing process.
  5. We actually proofread it this time (also sober), so we are reasonably sure we got the mistakes out. (Many thanks to the scathing review on Amazon and its comprehensive listing of the errors in the book, it was a great convenience having all that work done for us and neatly catalogued in one place.)

There will also be several book events across the country which is part of the reason we are not doing a Keepers Tour this year due to the time constraints the book tour imposes. Each event will start with a group ride and conclude with a signing at a local bike shop. Events are planned for the Rapha stores in New York City and San Francisco, as well as one in Minneapolis, Boulder, Seattle, and Portland. Details forthcoming as the event schedules are confirmed.

From the bottom of our hearts, we’d like to thank everyone in our Community, those who bought (and didn’t burn) the book in the UK and Commonwealth, and everyone who comes by here every day to read our musings. This is all a lot of work, but it is work we gladly do because of each and every one of you and the fun you bring to what is Velominati.

Tune in during April as we’ll be publishing one new Rule per week in the lead-up to the book’s release. We have also added a landing page for both the US and UK editions of the book including information on where to buy; post insults and corrections on there.

All Beene.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Condolences to you and your VMH Frank on your loss...never easy when a loved one passes on. Congrats to the Keepers on the US edition and for LeMan's involvement..this is great news! Will look forward to getting my US copy to put with my First Edition....two copies will definitely be better! Looking forward to seeing the Keepers in Portland...keep us posted of dates.

  • @frank as a veterinarian having to deal with euthanasing peoples beloved pets on a daily basis(yup, I'm that good at keeping them alive), accept my heartfelt condolences on your loss.However, I do hope you had her cremated and didn't have to dig a grave for that big old beast - even a tragedy such as this shouldn't involve the development of any upper body musculature.

  • Sorry for your loss of Kirki.

    Our beloved Labrador "Rusty" just clicked 14 years and the walks are half the distance and twice the time. Give me strength when his time's up.

    Chapeau to the Keeper's on the LeMan release!

    I have my, as @Buck Rogers  puts it, The dicked up UK version, which I have seen in (Melbourne, Southland), Dymocks store, right next to Bike Snobs book, and wedged between Crickets books. Spewing I didn't have my phone to take a pic of. (thats kinda funny, using a phone to take a photo! Back in my time a camera took photos that you wound the film back in the cartridge and get it developed at at photo lab,  and a phone let you talk to someone somewhere else.) I did move "The Rules" book out from the cricket books and placed it face on over Bike Snob's row.

    Can LeMan and the Keepers sign my "dicked up UK version" please!

  • Condolences, Frank.  Perhaps  new Lexicon term "All Beene" would be appropriate?  Congrats on landing in the New Colonies.  Post the book tour schedule ASAP.

  • Fan-fucking-tastic. I'll be purchasing the latest model fo' sho'. It's b+1, right?

  • Frank, I feel the large empty space you both must have with the big guy gone. We are on a (very un-enjoyable) dog hiatus partly to take a break from the loss thing...

    Congratulations on the US "The Rules", Sink-o-day-Mayo is going to be fantastic this year! How do we get our LBS's (B=book) to get the book? I will stop in but will you take names? Mine is Books and Books on Miami Beach. I know it's not really America but as our real estate agent said it is very close.

  • Life is short. Your affection for Beene will remain, the new edition I will purchase, in honor.

  • First post here and firstly condolences to you with your dog,we lost our 14 year old cat last year and we still(and always will) miss her.

    Oh and I bought my copy in the UK in an actual independent book shop.

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