The Rules: Coming to the US May 5
We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kilos meant she didn’t necessarily need to be terrified of things like shadows and doorways. Nevertheless, throughout her life she somehow managed to skirt through challenges completely unscathed, utterly oblivious to her shortcomings. In an effort to immortalize her spirit, the VMH and I have taken to referring to situations where we succeed despite our breathtaking incompetence as being “All Beene”. For example, on the occasion that I skied over a cliff I had failed to notice, subsequently rode my tails through a stand of pine trees at unprecedented speed, and emerged the other end without so much as a hair out of place – that was All Beene.
You might say that Velominati itself is All Beene. We Keepers didn’t intend to become the stewards of class, style, and etiquette on the bike; we just mainlined the Word of the Prophet and the Apostles and jotted it all down. The rest just happened because of the Community who caught on to the fun we were having and joined in. Same goes for our writing; we’re just passionate about this stuff; we obsess about it all the time and want to share our love for the sport with others in the hopes they might identify or – better yet – catch the bug themselves. All the while, the truth is that we have no idea what we’re doing. English isn’t even my first language, for Merckx’s sake.
But the journey continues. The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple was originally released in the Commonwealth on June 20, and surprised us with how well it was received despite various mistakes and errors throughout. In fact, it did well enough that some bright spark got the idea to release the book in our home US market as well, and we subsequently duped WW Norton into bearing that cross.
The Rules will be officially released in the United States on May 5th, 2014. We’ve put quite a lot of work into the US Edition with the following results:
- Greg LeMond, the only American Tour de France winner, graciously wrote the Foreword.
- We added four new Rules and supporting content, bringing the tally to 95.
- We revised some sections like the Prologue because we do what we want.
- We stayed sober during the editing process.
- We actually proofread it this time (also sober), so we are reasonably sure we got the mistakes out. (Many thanks to the scathing review on Amazon and its comprehensive listing of the errors in the book, it was a great convenience having all that work done for us and neatly catalogued in one place.)
There will also be several book events across the country which is part of the reason we are not doing a Keepers Tour this year due to the time constraints the book tour imposes. Each event will start with a group ride and conclude with a signing at a local bike shop. Events are planned for the Rapha stores in New York City and San Francisco, as well as one in Minneapolis, Boulder, Seattle, and Portland. Details forthcoming as the event schedules are confirmed.
From the bottom of our hearts, we’d like to thank everyone in our Community, those who bought (and didn’t burn) the book in the UK and Commonwealth, and everyone who comes by here every day to read our musings. This is all a lot of work, but it is work we gladly do because of each and every one of you and the fun you bring to what is Velominati.
Tune in during April as we’ll be publishing one new Rule per week in the lead-up to the book’s release. We have also added a landing page for both the US and UK editions of the book including information on where to buy; post insults and corrections on there.
All Beene.
Really?!? Dang! I went to the trouble to land myself a copy of the Rules as soon as I could get my hands on one, and now I gotta get another copy…oh well..I guess I’ll just have to tell the wallet to V it up and deal with it! :-)
Scathing reivew? Written by whom? Likely someone horribly obese who last rode a bike during the Carter administration (and poorly at that, I’ll bet). Ok, I have not bothered to read it (said scathing review) and would rather proclaim my judgement without the necessity of facts and what not.
And what’s with the “Lets see if it flies in the UK first” business? Perhaps all of this is made up for with the Cinco de Mayo release date (we can have a Belgian Ale based margarita or something to celibrate, unless that’s too sacrilegious).
@Haldy
We’ve been in a bit of awkward position with this; we’ve certainly made mention as much as we could that it was coming but really couldn’t announce it earlier as some details weren’t confirmed yet. And the UK publisher would be quite angry if we said things like, “Hey, stop buying the book! We’re putting out another one…”
But that’s why we went through the work of adding content and so forth – in the hopes that there would be some tangible reward for those of you inclined to double-buy.
Think of it this way: now your UK copy will be a collectors item.
@Ccos
Not sure, but I’ve developed a thick skin over the years. He is mostly angry at me personally, and is disappointed that I’m not from La Gazzetta or some other credible source.
Apparently it took him the whole book to figure out that I’m just an idiot who loves bikes.
It is also an interesting anomaly that despite his attention to detail in finding all the errors, he didn’t notice that the book actually has five authors, not one.
The other two star review says the book is a rehash of the website which tells me the reviewer either didn’t read the book or doesn’t read the site.
@frank
That narrows it down to all of us lot, then. Is there comments section we can read instead?
“You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play. It’s the playing that’s irresistible. Dicing from one year to the next with the things you love, what you risk reveals what you value.” “• Jeanette Winterson, The Passion
Sincerely, thanks: Frank, Gianni, Brett, Marko, Jim.
I check in here daily. It’s the vibe. It’s Mabo. Its everything like that. Its just the vibe.
I love your work. Keep going full gas. See you on Colbert.
Fuck ME!!! LeMAN himself??? Does that mean that you got to actually meet him or at least speak with him via phone/internet/cosmos???
Guess I will have TWO copies in my house. The dicked up UK version and the LeMAN authorized edition!!!
Awesome. It will be an honor to add the US first edition to the UK first edition volume I already own.
I will assume by omission that you stayed drunk during the writing process.
@Nate
@Buck Rogers
LeMan himself. I can’t describe in words the excitement this brought.
@frank Truly unbelievably amazingly awesome! I am sooooooooo jealous!!!!
Nice news for a Friday & congratulations. LeMan wrote the forward. How many of you dreamed you’d be a) published authors b) have LeMan contributing? Truly amazing.
Oh, I’ll be at the NAHBS in NC tomorrow. I haven’t seen too much action ’round here lately from anyone else in this state, though I’m sure some folks are truckin’ in for it. I’ll be sure to get some photos to share, if you’d like that.
Someone (else) needs to be inspired to get a custom frameset this year!
@Frank-
I’ll cherish my collectors edition then!
Maybe even more so if you wanted to say..throw in a set of stickers when you send me my t-shirt. :-)
I purchased the UK version on the first day of issue – after reading and digesting the biblical text, I passed the book onto our club headquarters, the LBS. Although I feel bad that I may have cost some sales, I know for a fact that at least 30 members have read the book and have therefore become enlightened. For the right money I’m prepared to take the book back and let the buggers buy their own!
Oh, and Frank, sorry to read about the loss of Beene. Even though you love them throughout, pets seem like pets. Then they’re gone too soon and you realize how much you dug them. When growing up a friend had Great Danes, those big boys go too fast.
Keepers/Authors – A sincere congratulations. It’s not often you get to turn your own passion into something that touches, connects, and inspires so many other folks. Good on ya and nice going. Congratulations.
Great news. @frank are you now suggesting that I handed Kelly an imperfect and incomplete works? Good job he doesn’t know where I live. This place is going to become even madder from May 6th.
I read that scathing review. Somebody needs a cookie. And a sense of humor.
Sorry for you loss Frank but happy that you have found a phrase to keep her memory in your lives – I like that. I’m sure you paired the rebirth (of sorts) of the book with the memorial.
So, when the hell are you going to add Canadian stops to the book tour so that we can follow up a group ride with the suffering of a ridiculous markup on U.S. published reading matter?
Congrats on the expanding geographic proliferation of the fun and community that is Velominati.
I’ll be double-buying for sure. Sounds like the second edition really is an improvement on the first, and not just in an orthographic sense.
Chapeau
Great ! Looking forward to a ride with the Keepers in SF when you get here and a signed (purchased) edition of the Rules. Chapeau indeed!
@frank – by the way, given the number of cyclists in the Bay Area, you may want to consider a book signing and ride on the Peninsula (Palo Alto or Woodside) and maybe one in the East Bay and one in Santa Cruz as well. Just sayin’, we could keep you busy for a very long time and the rides are outstanding. There is certainly no lack of recovery malted beverages either. Oh…..and would be good to see the Velominati gear before that to show it off!
I read that review. Two words for that slap-dick motherfucker: DOUCHE & BAG
I have yet to see ANY errors in my UK copy. This is because I always read in it in a state of awe of joy,every single time. Fuck the pedants, it’s further evidence they don’t get it and never will. Buona fotyuna on the US launch.
Came to the path last season, just in time for the soon-to-be-coveted first edition and promptly bought a copy for myself and my boss (who is definite a cyclist) – Yay Canada! Now I shall have to purchase a second copy, because I definitely need to read what LeMan has to say about a bunch of guys who met on the Internet, shave their legs, and obsess over the fine details of being a cyclist.
@meursault
Actually, we wound up doing 7 printings, and we caught the worst ones after the first one, so all the later printings kept getting better as we’d catch more and more.
A-Merckx to that, brother. A lot of heart and soul goes into making these things, and mistakes are painful to see in a final work in a way someone who has only consumed and never created will never understand. But over time I’ve found that people who get it might be pedants but in a very Rule #42 kind of way; the dicks just don’t get it and maybe they will later but for now I’m not bothered by folks who aren’t laughing because they don’t get the joke.
Having my mistakes and shortcomings pointed out publicly has given me a thick skin, and for that I’m very grateful – it has taught me to be proud of my work for the sake of it and not let criticism diminish it too much.
Anyway, cheers, and thanks for the kind words.
@frank Fuck em. It’s so much easier to write a cheap critique of something than it is to actually go out and produce something amazing of your own.
It’s like reading the reviews for restaurants on TripAdvisor, the worst reviews are best ignored, they’re written by narrow minded pessimistic little people who go out of their way to find fault.
@Chris
Funny observation: to this day, none of the Keepers have seen the book in a bookstore.
@frank
Yeah but that’s just cos you’ve only got one Commonwealth based keeper & NZ hasn’t got around to printing on paper yet…they’re still lugging around stone tablets & chisels.
@Mikael Liddy
I thought they used a cuneiform stylus and fresh sheep manure, subsequently baked in the sun. Thanks for clearing that up.
@Nate
Keep riding your bikes you blokes, your fishing skills lack luster .
Frank condolences to you and the VMH, There are very few things that can match the unconditional love of a pet. N1 being another off the top of my head. Looking forward to the Book release.
Finally civility and common sense will reign.
@AlexandriaBiker
Condolences to you and your VMH Frank on your loss…never easy when a loved one passes on. Congrats to the Keepers on the US edition and for LeMan’s involvement..this is great news! Will look forward to getting my US copy to put with my First Edition….two copies will definitely be better! Looking forward to seeing the Keepers in Portland…keep us posted of dates.
@frank as a veterinarian having to deal with euthanasing peoples beloved pets on a daily basis(yup, I’m that good at keeping them alive), accept my heartfelt condolences on your loss.However, I do hope you had her cremated and didn’t have to dig a grave for that big old beast – even a tragedy such as this shouldn’t involve the development of any upper body musculature.
Sorry for your loss of Kirki.
Our beloved Labrador “Rusty” just clicked 14 years and the walks are half the distance and twice the time. Give me strength when his time’s up.
Chapeau to the Keeper’s on the LeMan release!
I have my, as @Buck Rogers puts it, The dicked up UK version, which I have seen in (Melbourne, Southland), Dymocks store, right next to Bike Snobs book, and wedged between Crickets books. Spewing I didn’t have my phone to take a pic of. (thats kinda funny, using a phone to take a photo! Back in my time a camera took photos that you wound the film back in the cartridge and get it developed at at photo lab, and a phone let you talk to someone somewhere else.) I did move “The Rules” book out from the cricket books and placed it face on over Bike Snob’s row.
Can LeMan and the Keepers sign my “dicked up UK version” please!
Condolences, Frank. Perhaps new Lexicon term “All Beene” would be appropriate? Congrats on landing in the New Colonies. Post the book tour schedule ASAP.
Fan-fucking-tastic. I’ll be purchasing the latest model fo’ sho’. It’s b+1, right?
Frank, I feel the large empty space you both must have with the big guy gone. We are on a (very un-enjoyable) dog hiatus partly to take a break from the loss thing…
Congratulations on the US “The Rules”, Sink-o-day-Mayo is going to be fantastic this year! How do we get our LBS’s (B=book) to get the book? I will stop in but will you take names? Mine is Books and Books on Miami Beach. I know it’s not really America but as our real estate agent said it is very close.
Life is short. Your affection for Beene will remain, the new edition I will purchase, in honor.
First post here and firstly condolences to you with your dog,we lost our 14 year old cat last year and we still(and always will) miss her.
Oh and I bought my copy in the UK in an actual independent book shop.
Frank,
Again, sorry for the loss of your dog. Speaking of 65kg great Danes: Jakob Fuglsang, Chris Anker Sorensen, Matti Breschel.
Looking forward to the NYC group booking.
Sorry for the loss of your pup – savor the memories!
I secured the UK version early on and savored the read. The book resides in the place of honor on the cycling shelf in our library. Eagerly await the release of the US version – gift plans for some fellow veloists (initiate velominati as it were).
To the Keepers: many thanks for this forum and for putting the rules to print, even though they are self evident (yet still require a great deal of effort to maintain).
@meursault
Me too. And them too, as in just not getting it. And I kinda think of it this way: people often say that real beauty lies in the little imperfections, the deviation from the standard, even if you can’t actually put your finger on them. Well in that case my version one is truly beautiful, and I shall continue to cherish it.
Any thoughts about the handy app version of the rules for those quick consultations out on the road? You know, when phone reception is shit but you really need to check that rule that’s playing over and over in your head beating a cadence grinding up a hill.
@piers.fraser Rule #6
@Frank I am confused. There will be one new rule per week in April. and the new total of Rules will be 95. But there are currently 93 Rules. How does that work then ?
Speaking of rules, I spent all day working on a triathlon yesterday so I have a year’s supply of things which have been seen and cannot be unseen… generally involving skinsuits.
I regard it as a contribution to the less fortunate members of society.
Frank – Condolences on your loss of Kirki.
Any plans for doing this in a non-hipster location, AKA fly-over country? Baton Rouge is only 40 kms from the Rouge-Roubaix route…
Who said Great Danes aren’t lap dogs? Kirke in action.
@ChrissyOne Genius put-down. I am going to remember that one and use it in meetings.