Categories: The RulesThe WorksV-Announcements

The Rules: Coming to the US May 5

The Rules endpapers

We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kilos meant she didn’t necessarily need to be terrified of things like shadows and doorways. Nevertheless, throughout her life she somehow managed to skirt through challenges completely unscathed, utterly oblivious to her shortcomings. In an effort to immortalize her spirit, the VMH and I have taken to referring to situations where we succeed despite our breathtaking incompetence as being “All Beene”. For example, on the occasion that I skied over a cliff I had failed to notice, subsequently rode my tails through a stand of pine trees at unprecedented speed, and emerged the other end without so much as a hair out of place – that was All Beene.

You might say that Velominati itself is All Beene. We Keepers didn’t intend to become the stewards of class, style, and etiquette on the bike; we just mainlined the Word of the Prophet and the Apostles and jotted it all down. The rest just happened because of the Community who caught on to the fun we were having and joined in. Same goes for our writing; we’re just passionate about this stuff; we obsess about it all the time and want to share our love for the sport with others in the hopes they might identify or – better yet – catch the bug themselves. All the while, the truth is that we have no idea what we’re doing. English isn’t even my first language, for Merckx’s sake.

But the journey continues. The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple was originally released in the Commonwealth on June 20, and surprised us with how well it was received despite various mistakes and errors throughout. In fact, it did well enough that some bright spark got the idea to release the book in our home US market as well, and we subsequently duped WW Norton into bearing that cross.

The Rules will be officially released in the United States on May 5th, 2014. We’ve put quite a lot of work into the US Edition with the following results:

Greg LeMond, the only American Tour de France winner, graciously wrote the Foreword.
We added four new Rules and supporting content, bringing the tally to 95.
We revised some sections like the Prologue because we do what we want.
We stayed sober during the editing process.
We actually proofread it this time (also sober), so we are reasonably sure we got the mistakes out. (Many thanks to the scathing review on Amazon and its comprehensive listing of the errors in the book, it was a great convenience having all that work done for us and neatly catalogued in one place.)

There will also be several book events across the country which is part of the reason we are not doing a Keepers Tour this year due to the time constraints the book tour imposes. Each event will start with a group ride and conclude with a signing at a local bike shop. Events are planned for the Rapha stores in New York City and San Francisco, as well as one in Minneapolis, Boulder, Seattle, and Portland. Details forthcoming as the event schedules are confirmed.

From the bottom of our hearts, we’d like to thank everyone in our Community, those who bought (and didn’t burn) the book in the UK and Commonwealth, and everyone who comes by here every day to read our musings. This is all a lot of work, but it is work we gladly do because of each and every one of you and the fun you bring to what is Velominati.

Tune in during April as we’ll be publishing one new Rule per week in the lead-up to the book’s release. We have also added a landing page for both the US and UK editions of the book including information on where to buy; post insults and corrections on there.

All Beene.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Barracuda says:

Mar 16 2014 at 4:47 pm

I don't often read book reviews, that would require me to read a book review, I got in on the early edition and love it! Warts and all! After all, even though the 5 keepers collectively had a hand in it, it's us, the viewers , that keep it ticking! Good luck with the US release @frank... Knock em dead
PeakInTwoYears says:

Mar 16 2014 at 4:53 pm

Flitted down to Portland and back this weekend and just saw this. So fucking cool that LeMan wrote the forward! Cred doesn't get any more credible than that. I'd have pissed myself on hearing the news. Congratulations.

Again, so sorry for your loss.
Fausto says:

Mar 16 2014 at 5:41 pm

Sorry to hear about the passing of your hound, it's never a good thing to deal with, an it comes round way quicker than you'd want with the big dogs. :(

As soon as I saw the hyperlink on "do what we want" I was hoping it would be the Cartman clip - I wasn't disappointed. It does worry me that I'm tuned into the V-wavelength quite so strongly though.
frank says:

Mar 16 2014 at 5:49 pm

Thanks for the kind words and sentiments about Kirki. All our pets are under contract never to die, and she's the first one to break that contract; it was harder than I even guessed it would be.

We bought a Douglas fir in her memory, which we planned to plant this past weekend. It is ironic that perhaps the hardiest fir known was bought in memory of a dog who needed medical attention any time she drank water from a dodgey creek, but the idea was to spread her ashes near our favorite place to hang out in the cascades and plant the fir there.

We drove out there and were stunned to find the road to be covered in a meter of show and completely impassable.

That was totally, 100%, None Beene. So we'll plant the pine in a pot until April and try again. Fuck, we're stupid sometimes.

@fenlander

First post here and firstly condolences to you with your dog,we lost our 14 year old cat last year and we still(and always will) miss her.

Oh and I bought my copy in the UK in an actual independent book shop.

Welcome mate, and thanks. Independent bookstores keep getting scarcer but also cooler.
frank says:

Mar 16 2014 at 5:52 pm

@ChrisO

@Frank I am confused. There will be one new rule per week in April. and the new total of Rules will be 95. But there are currently 93 Rules. How does that work then ?

Speaking of rules, I spent all day working on a triathlon yesterday so I have a year's supply of things which have been seen and cannot be unseen... generally involving skinsuits.

I regard it as a contribution to the less fortunate members of society.

Well look at the big brain on @ChrisO; you're overthinking this, as usual. And fuck I forgot we posted a few of the new ones. Anyway, we'll give some justification and discussion every week to each one that isn't in the UK edition starting in April.
frank says:

Mar 16 2014 at 5:55 pm

@piers.fraser

Any thoughts about the handy app version of the rules for those quick consultations out on the road? You know, when phone reception is shit but you really need to check that rule that's playing over and over in your head beating a cadence grinding up a hill.

Yes, time is in short supply, but absolutely. I have more ideas for Velominati than I can possibly make happen given the limitations in time and technical skills amongst other Keepers, but a mobile app is high on the list.

@revchuck

Any plans for doing this in a non-hipster location, AKA fly-over country? Baton Rouge is only 40 kms from the Rouge-Roubaix route...

Budget remain unrelentingly restrained in these matters; also the last I checked Minneapolis was fly-over territory? At least that is what I was told while I was being raised there.
Puffy says:

Mar 16 2014 at 6:46 pm

@harminator

I check in here daily. It's the vibe. It's Mabo. Its everything like that. Its just the vibe.

Now there's a quote not many (outside Aus) will get, but I feel ya! Double thumbs up from me.
Barracuda says:

Mar 16 2014 at 7:33 pm

@Puffy

@harminator

I check in here daily. It's the vibe. It's Mabo. Its everything like that. Its just the vibe.

Now there's a quote not many (outside Aus) will get, but I feel ya! Double thumbs up from me.

Whats a pair of jousting sticks worth anyway ?
Brianold55 says:

Mar 16 2014 at 7:55 pm

@harminator Vale Kirki, its always good to see pets mourned and remembered as one of the family.

Harminator, where abouts in Oz are you? - and don't say Bonnie Doon
Barracuda says:

Mar 16 2014 at 8:27 pm

@Brianold55

@harminator Vale Kirki, its always good to see pets mourned and remembered as one of the family.

Harminator, where abouts in Oz are you? - and don't say Bonnie Doon

He lives conveniently next to a major airport, got the land real cheap ! Cool eh !