Categories: The HardmenThe Rules

Tour de France Rule #5 Award: Johnny Hoogerland

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Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries previously considered impassable. This is why Rule #5 stands apart: it is measured upon a personal scale; not against others, but against the very limits of your own mind and body.

In a tradition started last year, the Velominati hand out the Rule #5 Award to the rider whom we feel most embodied the spirit of Rule #5 during the hardest race of the year, Le Tour de France. By overwhelming consensus, the community has identified Johnny Hoogerland as the most deserving winner this year; as such, we present him with this humble award for fighting through one of the most gruesome crashes any of us can recall.

Brett’s Take:

In New Zealand, there’s a saying that “you can fix anything with Number 8 fencing wire” It means that no matter how hard the task, a bit of elbow grease and determination – not to mention ingenuity – can solve the problem.

But not even Number 8 wire is a match for the guts shown by Johnny Hoogerland on Stage 9 of the Tour de France. In fact, barbed wire fences lining the roads of Europe will be cowering at the thought of Johnny catapulting towards them, laying waste to their pitiful attempts to force him to abandon. #8 wire? Pffft… It’s Rule #5 wire where Johnny’s concerned.

Chapeau Johnny, you are a true hardman of cycling and a deserving winner of the Rule #5 Award. Enjoy a cold one after laying down The V.

Frank’s Take:

How do you single out one rider as ‘the tough guy’ in a race where 200 racers participate in 21 days of racing nearly back-to-back, over the highest mountains in all kinds of weather? How do you single out one rider in a race where a 3-hour 100km Stage raced a bloc over the Telegraph, Galibier, and up l’Alpe d’Huez figures as a “short” stage? How do you pick out one rider in a race lasting more than 86 hours fought out by competitors so tough and closely matched that the time differences are measured in fractions of minutes, not fractions of hours?

How do you pick out one rider when each stage saw riders risk their lives descending at 80kmh (or more) on melting or rain-slick tarmac? How do you pick out one rider when you see a GC contender throw caution to the wind in a do-or-die 60km break over the most difficult climbs in the world in a Hail Mary attempt to win the Tour?  How do you  pick one rider when you see a heroic effort to bring back that same man and singlehandedly drag him within reach? How do you pick out one rider in a race where sprinters won mountain stages and rouleurs fought for the Maillot Verde? How do you pick one rider in a race where the strength of the adversaries defines the quality of the winner?

I’ll tell you how: You pick the guy who catapulted into a rusty barbed-wire fence at 65 kmh because a man driving a car for the media decided his job was more important than that of those doing the racing. You pick a guy who was robbed of the chance to win a stage and go on to defend the Dotty Jumper by a driver who was ordered by race officials to pull over not once, but twice in order to make way for the team cars. You pick the guy who goes on to laugh it off, suggesting the driver didn’t mean him any harm. You pick the guy who did all that and not only finished the stage within the time limit, but managed to take the Polkadot Jersey that day and hold it for a few more. You pick the guy who, after he received dozens of stitches in addition to the damage done when you come off a bicycle at such speeds (it’s not the falling off that is the problem, but the quick stop afterwards that is), went on to finish every other stage and even get into several more breakaways along the way.

Johnny, it’s hardmen like you who make this sport so incredible and remind us that it’s not just the man who stands on top of the podium at the end of the day who is tough. It’s the fact that they beat riders like you, riders who can endure more hardship than most of us can comprehend that makes this such a great sport. You remind us that there is a reason we dub the men who finish the Tour de France Giants of the Road. As a fellow Dutchman, it is my profound pleasure to offer you the well-deserved Rule #5 Award. I hope you allow yourself a beer or two.  Cheers.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Netraam

    @Marcus
    @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Lars Boom and Laurens ten Dam both really went for it.

    Seriously? Those races are usually scripted. Then good for them that they are out racing for real!

  • @zalamanda
    Ok. You have a longhorn for your gravatar. They're near and dear to me. What's the backstory?

    Mine? Thanks for asking: I'm a UT grad (Hook 'Em), and my mom and stepdad used to have 47 head of longhorn no too long ago.

  • @Gotta Ride Today

    Are you going to send him the pint glass? Here is an address off the Vacansoleil website.

    Thanks, but we're in touch with the team and have made arrangements with the team management to have it delivered directly to Johnny. We'll keep you posted, of course.

  • @frank

    @Gotta Ride Today


    Are you going to send him the pint glass? Here is an address off the Vacansoleil website.

    Thanks, but we're in touch with the team and have made arrangements with the team management to have it delivered directly to Johnny. We'll keep you posted, of course.

    The hard son of a bitch is likely to send you a picture of it back filled with a pint of his blood before he dumps it on the ground just show us all how fookin tough he is.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @Netraam


    @Marcus@Jeff in PetroMetroLars Boom and Laurens ten Dam both really went for it.

    Seriously? Those races are usually scripted. Then good for them that they are out racing for real!

    Netraam, do you still believe in Santa Claus and COTHO?

    Take a look at the results - where was the crit held? Holland. Where were the riders all from? Lars Bak - domestique extraordinaire wins a race? Mmmm, local boy wins for crowd. And as for looking like they went for it, well that's the show.

    For a little more reality, take a look at the Belgy crit. PhilGil wins followed by Sammy Sanchez(!) and Basso(!!)? The next 10 placings, all Belgeys. You really think a Spaniard and Italian (without teams I might add) are gonna hold their own in a kermesse??

  • @Marcus
    WHAT!? There's no Santa Claus?

    I...I didn't know, Marcus. I...I believed in Santa. He gave me my first bike (*crying*).

  • Rule V is a special one, standing apart from all the others in the fine list. It can rule your mind when you are in the saddle, allowing you to shut out all else and either revel in the pain in your legs & lungs, or try and ignore it & go to a better place inside your mind.

    But, I also think Rule V is important because of how each of us must apply it and adhere to it on our own; a collective Rule, but one we must pursue on our own. It allows us to test ourselves, to push ourselves & only we know our own V-limits, as others have pointed out here.

    This nature makes it applicable out of the saddle as well. We can push ourselves to achieve in other pursuits, or in our professions, but we really can't compare what we accomplish with others, for our abilities all differ.

    A sprinter cannot be a climber, a climber cannot be a sprinter. Yet, each can apply the V as best they can in all situations. I love how Rule V asks you to go to your limits, then push beyond, but allows each of us to realize our own limits independently of our peers.

  • @minion

    @WhiteRoseRider

    You can't do it in less than 4 years now. We were slack submitting the application, took less than 6 weeks after that went in. Lived here 5 years and started the Visa app in 2004.

    I though most Aussies just had to steal something to earn the right to live in Straya? Or do you have to be SENTENCED to four years minimum now...ok now I get it.

    @minion So true in years gone by you had to have a Police record to get in, now you are screwed if you do.

    I nearly got caught out being smart when they asked if I had any convictions, I replied "I didn't realise you still needed them?" ;0)

  • @Roadslave

    @Frank @Brett
    ... I could not understand how JH could be so forgiving of the driver at the end of the day, nor how he could get back on his bike...

    JH must understand Hoʻoponopono
    To forgive someone releases the grudge you have on that person/event and frees you JH).
    Now the other person (driver) is stuck with the guilt until he asks to be forgiven.
    That's part of how he got back on his bike, and pure fuckin V!

  • @WhiteRoseRider

    @minion
    I nearly got caught out being smart when they asked if I had any convictions, I replied "I didn't realise you still needed them?" ;0)

    Yeh don't be smart. Huge proportion of my country doesn't like smart.

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