Categories: The HardmenThe Rules

Tour de France Rule #5 Award: Johnny Hoogerland

Rule #5AwardHoogerland" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Rule5AwardHoogerland1-620x465.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="465" />
Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries previously considered impassable. This is why Rule #5 stands apart: it is measured upon a personal scale; not against others, but against the very limits of your own mind and body.

In a tradition started last year, the Velominati hand out the Rule #5 Award to the rider whom we feel most embodied the spirit of Rule #5 during the hardest race of the year, Le Tour de France. By overwhelming consensus, the community has identified Johnny Hoogerland as the most deserving winner this year; as such, we present him with this humble award for fighting through one of the most gruesome crashes any of us can recall.

Brett’s Take:

In New Zealand, there’s a saying that “you can fix anything with Number 8 fencing wire” It means that no matter how hard the task, a bit of elbow grease and determination – not to mention ingenuity – can solve the problem.

But not even Number 8 wire is a match for the guts shown by Johnny Hoogerland on Stage 9 of the Tour de France. In fact, barbed wire fences lining the roads of Europe will be cowering at the thought of Johnny catapulting towards them, laying waste to their pitiful attempts to force him to abandon. #8 wire? Pffft… It’s Rule #5 wire where Johnny’s concerned.

Chapeau Johnny, you are a true hardman of cycling and a deserving winner of the Rule #5 Award. Enjoy a cold one after laying down The V.

Frank’s Take:

How do you single out one rider as ‘the tough guy’ in a race where 200 racers participate in 21 days of racing nearly back-to-back, over the highest mountains in all kinds of weather? How do you single out one rider in a race where a 3-hour 100km Stage raced a bloc over the Telegraph, Galibier, and up l’Alpe d’Huez figures as a “short” stage? How do you pick out one rider in a race lasting more than 86 hours fought out by competitors so tough and closely matched that the time differences are measured in fractions of minutes, not fractions of hours?

How do you pick out one rider when each stage saw riders risk their lives descending at 80kmh (or more) on melting or rain-slick tarmac? How do you pick out one rider when you see a GC contender throw caution to the wind in a do-or-die 60km break over the most difficult climbs in the world in a Hail Mary attempt to win the Tour?  How do you  pick one rider when you see a heroic effort to bring back that same man and singlehandedly drag him within reach? How do you pick out one rider in a race where sprinters won mountain stages and rouleurs fought for the Maillot Verde? How do you pick one rider in a race where the strength of the adversaries defines the quality of the winner?

I’ll tell you how: You pick the guy who catapulted into a rusty barbed-wire fence at 65 kmh because a man driving a car for the media decided his job was more important than that of those doing the racing. You pick a guy who was robbed of the chance to win a stage and go on to defend the Dotty Jumper by a driver who was ordered by race officials to pull over not once, but twice in order to make way for the team cars. You pick the guy who goes on to laugh it off, suggesting the driver didn’t mean him any harm. You pick the guy who did all that and not only finished the stage within the time limit, but managed to take the Polkadot Jersey that day and hold it for a few more. You pick the guy who, after he received dozens of stitches in addition to the damage done when you come off a bicycle at such speeds (it’s not the falling off that is the problem, but the quick stop afterwards that is), went on to finish every other stage and even get into several more breakaways along the way.

Johnny, it’s hardmen like you who make this sport so incredible and remind us that it’s not just the man who stands on top of the podium at the end of the day who is tough. It’s the fact that they beat riders like you, riders who can endure more hardship than most of us can comprehend that makes this such a great sport. You remind us that there is a reason we dub the men who finish the Tour de France Giants of the Road. As a fellow Dutchman, it is my profound pleasure to offer you the well-deserved Rule #5 Award. I hope you allow yourself a beer or two.  Cheers.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • How fucking cool that Hoogerland is getting his V-pint?

    And somehow we need to recognize David Harmon for crashing the website with a tweet and couple of global apologies live on Eurosport--all the while sitting with King Kelly and reporting on the Tour de France.

    Spectacular 2011 TdF, Keepers. Thank you! And well done!

  • @RedRanger

    @brett
    I hope we will be forwarded and messages if any from JH?

    Yes indeed.

    Slash, calling a man a woman as an 'insult' shows how much of a misogynistic, narrow-minded little fellow you are. Why do you hate women? Did your mum not give you enough 'Cuddles' when you were a kid?

    Next you'll be calling me 'gay'...

  • @scaler911
    Great photo of Mr. Cash. First glance I thought it was Joe Strummer, hadn't seen the similarity before....


    or is it just me? Of course Joe is a bit youger in this photo but I'm guessing he was an inspiration

  • Wire like that, it will not stop me.

    Wait...just did a quick scan to the bottom after reading this...slash is here? Man, what is the point of yelling into a chasm? You're wasting your time here, bud. Let it go.

    I was so worn out after watching Le Tour, plus being ron-guard for all the VSPs tossed at us all hours of the day that I needed a nap today after the final stage. I woke up at around 16:00 and thought, "It's is Monday already?" Hell no, it's Sunday, and Cadel just won in fine style, let's have some more beer!

    Nice, nice way to spend a Sunday.

    Lads, rest up, get a good week in, for on Friday, we start going again, more racin'!

  • @scaler911 I'm not trolling. I mean every word of what I say. You tell me, what Frank means when he says, "disobey reason". That's womanish babble.

  • @Marcus More babble. No, honestly, I do want to know what it means to disobey reason and why this is important to comply with Rule 5. Harden the fuck up. Why is doing this disobeying reason? One should harden the fuck up only if one needs to get tough and fierce in order to accomplish one's goals. How is that disobeying reason?? Marcus?? How about this, Marcus, do you really think cycling is about "Looking Pro" rather than trying with everything to be PRO? Honestly, above everyone here, I'd have thought that you'd understand.

  • @Marcus

    Hoiwever, calling Frank a poser isn't far off the mark. Posing is a VERY important part of cycling.

    Hear, hear. As has been expressed on numerous occasions on these pages, we have to look fabulous at all times. As long as we're still casually deliberate, remember? Like this...

    Though I fear Slash may have lost too much weight in the mountains in this one

    or even this...

    though this may be too "girly" for these pages!

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago