Categories: The HardmenThe Rules

Tour de France Rule #5 Award: Johnny Hoogerland

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Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries previously considered impassable. This is why Rule #5 stands apart: it is measured upon a personal scale; not against others, but against the very limits of your own mind and body.

In a tradition started last year, the Velominati hand out the Rule #5 Award to the rider whom we feel most embodied the spirit of Rule #5 during the hardest race of the year, Le Tour de France. By overwhelming consensus, the community has identified Johnny Hoogerland as the most deserving winner this year; as such, we present him with this humble award for fighting through one of the most gruesome crashes any of us can recall.

Brett’s Take:

In New Zealand, there’s a saying that “you can fix anything with Number 8 fencing wire” It means that no matter how hard the task, a bit of elbow grease and determination – not to mention ingenuity – can solve the problem.

But not even Number 8 wire is a match for the guts shown by Johnny Hoogerland on Stage 9 of the Tour de France. In fact, barbed wire fences lining the roads of Europe will be cowering at the thought of Johnny catapulting towards them, laying waste to their pitiful attempts to force him to abandon. #8 wire? Pffft… It’s Rule #5 wire where Johnny’s concerned.

Chapeau Johnny, you are a true hardman of cycling and a deserving winner of the Rule #5 Award. Enjoy a cold one after laying down The V.

Frank’s Take:

How do you single out one rider as ‘the tough guy’ in a race where 200 racers participate in 21 days of racing nearly back-to-back, over the highest mountains in all kinds of weather? How do you single out one rider in a race where a 3-hour 100km Stage raced a bloc over the Telegraph, Galibier, and up l’Alpe d’Huez figures as a “short” stage? How do you pick out one rider in a race lasting more than 86 hours fought out by competitors so tough and closely matched that the time differences are measured in fractions of minutes, not fractions of hours?

How do you pick out one rider when each stage saw riders risk their lives descending at 80kmh (or more) on melting or rain-slick tarmac? How do you pick out one rider when you see a GC contender throw caution to the wind in a do-or-die 60km break over the most difficult climbs in the world in a Hail Mary attempt to win the Tour?  How do you  pick one rider when you see a heroic effort to bring back that same man and singlehandedly drag him within reach? How do you pick out one rider in a race where sprinters won mountain stages and rouleurs fought for the Maillot Verde? How do you pick one rider in a race where the strength of the adversaries defines the quality of the winner?

I’ll tell you how: You pick the guy who catapulted into a rusty barbed-wire fence at 65 kmh because a man driving a car for the media decided his job was more important than that of those doing the racing. You pick a guy who was robbed of the chance to win a stage and go on to defend the Dotty Jumper by a driver who was ordered by race officials to pull over not once, but twice in order to make way for the team cars. You pick the guy who goes on to laugh it off, suggesting the driver didn’t mean him any harm. You pick the guy who did all that and not only finished the stage within the time limit, but managed to take the Polkadot Jersey that day and hold it for a few more. You pick the guy who, after he received dozens of stitches in addition to the damage done when you come off a bicycle at such speeds (it’s not the falling off that is the problem, but the quick stop afterwards that is), went on to finish every other stage and even get into several more breakaways along the way.

Johnny, it’s hardmen like you who make this sport so incredible and remind us that it’s not just the man who stands on top of the podium at the end of the day who is tough. It’s the fact that they beat riders like you, riders who can endure more hardship than most of us can comprehend that makes this such a great sport. You remind us that there is a reason we dub the men who finish the Tour de France Giants of the Road. As a fellow Dutchman, it is my profound pleasure to offer you the well-deserved Rule #5 Award. I hope you allow yourself a beer or two.  Cheers.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Yes, well deserved.

    But a mention in despatches for Laurens Ten Dam I hope... yet another Dutch hardman. That photo of him is destined to be used to scare children for years to come.

    And Rolland for best Young V... can't find it in the plethora of stories on Cycling News but there was a lovely quote from him about his win where he said basically "I knew I just had to put it in the big ring and ride a bloc to the finish"... on Alpe d'Huez FFS.

  • Aye, 'tis a tale of Merckxian proportions.

    That's a *real* engraved v-pint! Please tell me you really did send it to him; and if he acknowledges it?

  • What a race! Johnny Barbed Wire a worthy winner of the rule 5 award but there were plenty of other hardman incidents, Horner chasing home on his own from 15k out with heavy concussion no idea what was going on or where he was but still being driven by the instinct to get to the finish. Popovych only going to the Drs car after pacing one of his many team leaders back to the peloton after a heavy crash. Vino pretty much walking out of a ditch with a broken leg (best summed up by someone on Twitter as 'if Vino is limping it is not a question of IF it is broken but how badly'). Jean Claude Ten Dam riding on with a smashed up face after going over the handlebars in what I can only presume was an effort to make his bearded face even less aerodynamic. Voeckler turning himself inside out day after day. There are plenty more examples but these are the ones that spring to mind.

    Is there an award for most casually deliberate moment of the tour? My nomination would be Geraint Thomas' casual brush down and saunter back to the road and his bike after nearly riding off the edge of the side of a mountain at 1000k an hour, even taking the time to see how far the peloton were behind him.

  • Voeckler definitely desrves an hounourable mention!! Toughing it out behind the GC contenders for a week.

  • Johnny Hoo is the obvious choice, but let's not forget the guy who got smashed into the tarmac that day, JAF, who was trying to break the peleton on the Champs Elysee today, chapeau, you mad bastardo

    A bit naff I know, but I'm going to maximise the number of opportunities of telling peeps how hard Johnny Hoo is by donning this shirt...

  • @eightzero

    That's a *real* engraved v-pint! Please tell me you really did send it to him; and if he acknowledges it?

    Please do send it to him!

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