Categories: The HardmenThe Rules

Tour de France Rule #5 Award: Johnny Hoogerland

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Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries previously considered impassable. This is why Rule #5 stands apart: it is measured upon a personal scale; not against others, but against the very limits of your own mind and body.

In a tradition started last year, the Velominati hand out the Rule #5 Award to the rider whom we feel most embodied the spirit of Rule #5 during the hardest race of the year, Le Tour de France. By overwhelming consensus, the community has identified Johnny Hoogerland as the most deserving winner this year; as such, we present him with this humble award for fighting through one of the most gruesome crashes any of us can recall.

Brett’s Take:

In New Zealand, there’s a saying that “you can fix anything with Number 8 fencing wire” It means that no matter how hard the task, a bit of elbow grease and determination – not to mention ingenuity – can solve the problem.

But not even Number 8 wire is a match for the guts shown by Johnny Hoogerland on Stage 9 of the Tour de France. In fact, barbed wire fences lining the roads of Europe will be cowering at the thought of Johnny catapulting towards them, laying waste to their pitiful attempts to force him to abandon. #8 wire? Pffft… It’s Rule #5 wire where Johnny’s concerned.

Chapeau Johnny, you are a true hardman of cycling and a deserving winner of the Rule #5 Award. Enjoy a cold one after laying down The V.

Frank’s Take:

How do you single out one rider as ‘the tough guy’ in a race where 200 racers participate in 21 days of racing nearly back-to-back, over the highest mountains in all kinds of weather? How do you single out one rider in a race where a 3-hour 100km Stage raced a bloc over the Telegraph, Galibier, and up l’Alpe d’Huez figures as a “short” stage? How do you pick out one rider in a race lasting more than 86 hours fought out by competitors so tough and closely matched that the time differences are measured in fractions of minutes, not fractions of hours?

How do you pick out one rider when each stage saw riders risk their lives descending at 80kmh (or more) on melting or rain-slick tarmac? How do you pick out one rider when you see a GC contender throw caution to the wind in a do-or-die 60km break over the most difficult climbs in the world in a Hail Mary attempt to win the Tour?  How do you  pick one rider when you see a heroic effort to bring back that same man and singlehandedly drag him within reach? How do you pick out one rider in a race where sprinters won mountain stages and rouleurs fought for the Maillot Verde? How do you pick one rider in a race where the strength of the adversaries defines the quality of the winner?

I’ll tell you how: You pick the guy who catapulted into a rusty barbed-wire fence at 65 kmh because a man driving a car for the media decided his job was more important than that of those doing the racing. You pick a guy who was robbed of the chance to win a stage and go on to defend the Dotty Jumper by a driver who was ordered by race officials to pull over not once, but twice in order to make way for the team cars. You pick the guy who goes on to laugh it off, suggesting the driver didn’t mean him any harm. You pick the guy who did all that and not only finished the stage within the time limit, but managed to take the Polkadot Jersey that day and hold it for a few more. You pick the guy who, after he received dozens of stitches in addition to the damage done when you come off a bicycle at such speeds (it’s not the falling off that is the problem, but the quick stop afterwards that is), went on to finish every other stage and even get into several more breakaways along the way.

Johnny, it’s hardmen like you who make this sport so incredible and remind us that it’s not just the man who stands on top of the podium at the end of the day who is tough. It’s the fact that they beat riders like you, riders who can endure more hardship than most of us can comprehend that makes this such a great sport. You remind us that there is a reason we dub the men who finish the Tour de France Giants of the Road. As a fellow Dutchman, it is my profound pleasure to offer you the well-deserved Rule #5 Award. I hope you allow yourself a beer or two.  Cheers.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Slash

    @Marcus More babble. No, honestly, I do want to know what it means to disobey reason and why this is important to comply with Rule #5. Harden the fuck up. Why is doing this disobeying reason? One should harden the fuck up only if one needs to get tough and fierce in order to accomplish one's goals. How is that disobeying reason?? Marcus?? How about this, Marcus, do you really think cycling is about "Looking Pro" rather than trying with everything to be PRO? Honestly, above everyone here, I'd have thought that you'd understand.

    The beauty of Rule 5 is that it is subjective, it's not about acheiving a certain average speed, coving a set distance or climbing at any particular rate, it's about pushing ones own limits.

    So desespite being a bit of a dick, it seems like you sort of get it when you talk about accomplishing one's goals. What you don't seem to get is that it is about more than just beasting yourself to win as per cuddles (whom I'm sure everyone will agree laid down some V over the last few days); it's about going beyond the point where it would be reasonable to say I've given it my best or I've done my bit.

    Guys like Hoogerland, Voight, Montfort, countless unamed domestiques do this but rarely get any mention. We chose to regognise such efforts and hold them up as something to aspire to and maybe even take that ethos to our own riding.

  • Chris makes a v. good (forgive the pun) point. The guys who aren't going to win the overall - the chancers, the guys who put themselves in every break, the domestiques who are just doing their job (albeit very well) have a higher V factor almost by definition. So I'm, OK with Jonny H's Vaward.

    Maybe the best thing about Cadel's win this year was that he deserved it. He rode smart, accurately assessed his opponents strengths and weaknesses and worked when he had to (and didn't - stage 19 being a good example - when he didn't). He won a stage. And even though he came second on the stage, those final 8.5kms up the Galibier chasing after Schleck the Younger on stage Stage 18 rank up their with his win the mud over the strade bianchi in last year's Giro and the world championship in terms of pure grit. You could almost hear the reat of the break shrug when he asked if they were going to help him at which point he went to the front and ground his way back. The gap came down agonisingly slowly but it was magnificent to watch.

    Great day to get out on the bike in one's Aussie team strip yesterday. Chapeau Cuddles, sorry I doubted you.

  • @Gianni
    damn that hurts just to look at that picture again - looks like he was lucky not to slice those varicose veins on his left arse cheek, that would have made a serious medical situation turn a bit scary

    Also admirable how he insisted on quickly getting some new shorts to maintain Rule 7

    Veino Rule 64 - nailed it - get well soon - (but use a different doctor from the last time.....)

  • All through the rest of the Tour, I was telling the VMH every time he got a mention, "that's him that took out the fence"!

    It takes a special kind of something to come back from that kind of "off". Before this Tour, Vino would have won my "toughest" vote everytime. Need to re-assess the scale now. Sorry to hear of his retirement in such bad circumstances.

    They should introduce another jersey, based on Rule#5 points. Time at the front of the peleton in the wind etc. Not just a red number. The GC contenders excluded.

    Also, glad I got Australian citizenship last month, so I can claim the Yellow and Green Jerseys!!

  • You can't do it in less than 4 years now. We were slack submitting the application, took less than 6 weeks after that went in. Lived here 5 years and started the Visa app in 2004.

  • Johnny H. is a great pick and certainly well deserved. I wold just like to say that it while his crash was spectacular let us not forget Juan Antonio Fletcha who was also taken out by the car, hit the pavement very hard and got back on the bike too. Both of these guys are true hard men.

  • Are we going to have to get an ignore feature up and running so all of us can ignore one COTHO poster?

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