Categories: The HardmenThe Rules

Tour de France Rule #5 Award: Johnny Hoogerland

Rule #5AwardHoogerland" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Rule5AwardHoogerland1-620x465.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="465" />
Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries previously considered impassable. This is why Rule #5 stands apart: it is measured upon a personal scale; not against others, but against the very limits of your own mind and body.

In a tradition started last year, the Velominati hand out the Rule #5 Award to the rider whom we feel most embodied the spirit of Rule #5 during the hardest race of the year, Le Tour de France. By overwhelming consensus, the community has identified Johnny Hoogerland as the most deserving winner this year; as such, we present him with this humble award for fighting through one of the most gruesome crashes any of us can recall.

Brett’s Take:

In New Zealand, there’s a saying that “you can fix anything with Number 8 fencing wire” It means that no matter how hard the task, a bit of elbow grease and determination – not to mention ingenuity – can solve the problem.

But not even Number 8 wire is a match for the guts shown by Johnny Hoogerland on Stage 9 of the Tour de France. In fact, barbed wire fences lining the roads of Europe will be cowering at the thought of Johnny catapulting towards them, laying waste to their pitiful attempts to force him to abandon. #8 wire? Pffft… It’s Rule #5 wire where Johnny’s concerned.

Chapeau Johnny, you are a true hardman of cycling and a deserving winner of the Rule #5 Award. Enjoy a cold one after laying down The V.

Frank’s Take:

How do you single out one rider as ‘the tough guy’ in a race where 200 racers participate in 21 days of racing nearly back-to-back, over the highest mountains in all kinds of weather? How do you single out one rider in a race where a 3-hour 100km Stage raced a bloc over the Telegraph, Galibier, and up l’Alpe d’Huez figures as a “short” stage? How do you pick out one rider in a race lasting more than 86 hours fought out by competitors so tough and closely matched that the time differences are measured in fractions of minutes, not fractions of hours?

How do you pick out one rider when each stage saw riders risk their lives descending at 80kmh (or more) on melting or rain-slick tarmac? How do you pick out one rider when you see a GC contender throw caution to the wind in a do-or-die 60km break over the most difficult climbs in the world in a Hail Mary attempt to win the Tour?  How do you  pick one rider when you see a heroic effort to bring back that same man and singlehandedly drag him within reach? How do you pick out one rider in a race where sprinters won mountain stages and rouleurs fought for the Maillot Verde? How do you pick one rider in a race where the strength of the adversaries defines the quality of the winner?

I’ll tell you how: You pick the guy who catapulted into a rusty barbed-wire fence at 65 kmh because a man driving a car for the media decided his job was more important than that of those doing the racing. You pick a guy who was robbed of the chance to win a stage and go on to defend the Dotty Jumper by a driver who was ordered by race officials to pull over not once, but twice in order to make way for the team cars. You pick the guy who goes on to laugh it off, suggesting the driver didn’t mean him any harm. You pick the guy who did all that and not only finished the stage within the time limit, but managed to take the Polkadot Jersey that day and hold it for a few more. You pick the guy who, after he received dozens of stitches in addition to the damage done when you come off a bicycle at such speeds (it’s not the falling off that is the problem, but the quick stop afterwards that is), went on to finish every other stage and even get into several more breakaways along the way.

Johnny, it’s hardmen like you who make this sport so incredible and remind us that it’s not just the man who stands on top of the podium at the end of the day who is tough. It’s the fact that they beat riders like you, riders who can endure more hardship than most of us can comprehend that makes this such a great sport. You remind us that there is a reason we dub the men who finish the Tour de France Giants of the Road. As a fellow Dutchman, it is my profound pleasure to offer you the well-deserved Rule #5 Award. I hope you allow yourself a beer or two.  Cheers.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Netraam
    Hate to spoil the illusion - but the crits are rigged. Cuddles (and probably a schleck) will come out and win a sprint somewhere this week

  • @Marcus

    @Netraam
    Hate to spoil the illusion - but the crits are rigged. Cuddles (and probably a schleck) will come out and win a sprint somewhere this week

    I knew the winner was rigged but how much of the rest of the placings are rigged?

  • @il ciclista medio

    @scaler911 Great photo of Mr. Cash. First glance I thought it was Joe Strummer, hadn't seen the similarity before....or is it just me? Of course Joe is a bit youger in this photo but I'm guessing he was an inspiration

    Similarities everywhere, not sure who is copying who now?

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @minion Nope. I've eliminated Slash from my music library.
    And I'm gonna miss "Slither" from Velvet Revolver. I really liked that song on my indoor trainer mix.
    Slash seemed like a really cool guitar player. I...I didn't know.
    And BTW, excellent choice of movie clip.
    Oh, and, since I've already made it really clear that I'm a Luddite, how do you make a web address do that "Lighten Up Francis" link thingy? Is it as obvious as using the "Link" button?

    Yup, press the link button->put in the address->put in the text you want to show up in the next box & you're golden

  • @Netraam

    @Marcus
    Yep. Post Tour crits are professional wrestling. It's where, back in the Dark Ages, guys made their real incomes from the appearance fees. Somehow, a local 58kg climbing specialist who finished the Tour in 97th place always managed to just get pipped by Eric Vanderaerden at the line in a pack sprint. Visiting Green Jersey winner gets first, local town hero gets a close second, the town gets to celebrate for a day and rub elbows with a jersey winner, and the local guy's fan club gets to drink until they fall down. Town gets lots of visitors. Local shops get lots of business. Riders get seriously paid and move on to the next town. Everyone wins. It's a pretty cool thing, really.

  • @Markp

    @il ciclista medio
    Similarities everywhere, not sure who is copying who now?

    And that just takes us down the James Bond Route.

    "and what's your name my dear?"

    "Pussy Galore"

    "Of course it is. Let me show you my Race winner's bedspread"

  • @minion

    @Markp


    @il ciclista mediosrc =http://velominati.com/wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/php/image.php?degrees=0&scale=yes&width=600&height=700&quality=85&maintain_aspect=yes&rounding=nearest&image=/home/frankdstrack/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/Markp/2011.07.26.02.49.59/Eddie.jpg width="449" height=700>

    And that just takes us down the James Bond Route.
    "and what's your name my dear?"
    "Pussy Galore"
    "Of course it is. Let me show you my Race winner's bedspread"

    and so it does.....

    It doesn't bother you? Killing all those people?

    Well I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

  • @minion

    "Of course it is. Let me show you my Race winner's bedspread"

    But it sure beats "let me show you my etchings/drawings/paintings/come up for a cup of coffee" don't it?
    I kinda like the thought of Eddy with the ladies - "hey baby, want to see my jaune's? I have yellow, green, pink, white, many, many others. I think you would look best in the (insert colour here) in zee morning light before my race tomorrow. In fact I will win another one just for you"

  • what the hell did they make those jerseys from back then, those look like they have been rehashed out of an set of Old Folks Home's hall curtains, or one of my dearly departed granny's evening dresses - thank Merckx for lycra and spandex!

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