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A Study in Casually Deliberate: Wait Properly

Casually Deliberate" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Reporters_adab0bcf0e6a70670.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="508" />

Photo: Reporters Magazine

We spend a small enormity of time waiting. We wait for lights to turn green. We wait for riders to arrive to the ride. We wait for riding partners to finish repairing a flat or mechanical. Due to various practical considerations including the perceived notion that armchairs don’t stuff well into jersey pockets, we generally find ourselves doing our waiting astride our machines rather than more customary accommodations.

Like all Cycling activities, waiting must be undertaken with utmost attention to style and class, with the principles of Casually Deliberate applying in spades. This presents a number of technical challenges, however. Noting that we are clad in full-body spandex, ballet slippers, and what amounts to a hollowed-out coconut on our heads, the matter of looking cool is complicated not insignificantly when seeking to appear at ease perched upon the crossbar of our bikes, a device more likely to be used to provide sterility treatment than comfortable seating.

Take, for example, this photo of Faboo, Burghardt, and Huevo Rancheros. Motorcus and Burggie are using my preferred method of extending the right leg while resting the topmost portion of the hamstring on the top tube just fore of the seatpost. I prefer this technique not only for its obvious casual nature, but for its numerous functional qualities. First, having the right leg, not the left, extended ensures we don’t inadvertently apply the Cat 5 Tattoo. Second, it ensures our hamstring doesn’t become a hamstrung should the right foot suffer unexpected slippage.

Huevo, in contrast, is using an entirely unorthodox approach adopted, I’m assuming, from riding his skuut. Knowing he’s had some work done in the region, I suspect it might be more comfortable for him than for anyone not similarly unaltered and it is with that consideration that I strongly recommend this approach be avoided.

A broad glance at the riders in this photo reveals myriad examples of Waiting Properly while employing subtle differences in execution. The similarities are clear, however:

Under no circumstances is one to look straight ahead or focus on a single object, however interesting that object may be. Instead, always look up or down, or try looking thoughtfully into the distance; just because you’re a Cyclist doesn’t mean you’re not also concerned about world issues.
Just like in band photos, never smile unnecessarily. Sure, you enjoy cycling, but your bike isn’t telling amusing anecdotes. Also don’t frown, because that’s depressing. Accepted facial expressions include keeping a straight face or grimacing because of how hard you just drilled it coming up to the light.
Decide what to do with your hands. Rest your elbows on the tops of your bars, lean with your hands on the hoods on locked elbows, or sit upright with your hands loosely draped in your lap. Experts may mix and match.
Waiting at a café while sipping an espresso and perusing the morning paper may be done while leaning against the toptube of the bicycle, but risks include having the bicycle roll to the right or left unexpectedly, resulting in the obvious undesirable effects.
Waiting at a café may also be undertaken while the bicycle has been lovingly leaned against a nearby wall. In this case, however, one must be careful to read a French daily.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Blah says:

Nov 3 2011 at 5:00 am

@il ciclista medio
Hehehe! How many lights I any given ride? Sounds fun. Big question: does he know he's doing it?
wiscot says:

Nov 3 2011 at 5:14 am

@il ciclista medio
Personally I'm right leg dominant, so I extend the left leg as that's the one I unclip. I really only encounter two stop lights on all my rides and neither stays red for long enough to strike such a pose - indeed most of the time a stop can be avoided with some judicious adjustment of speed beforehand. So I can't figure out if I'm lucky or not - rarely having to stop at any lights, or missing out on some fine displays of casually deliberate posing . . .
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Nov 3 2011 at 5:47 am

@The Potato Man

So, back on the Casually Deliberate waiting for lights to change. What is the ruling on track standing? Obviously one has to be sufficiently skilled to carry it off with aplomb, but does this still count as Casually Deliberate?

I agree with the other Velominati who say do it only if you can roll up and sit the bike perfectly still.

In the States, we turn our front wheels to the left--turning into the rise at the crown of the road that slopes down to the gutter/curb. It's a trackstand facing the wrong direction. To a trackie, it looks backwards, but to the common motorist, they wouldn't know. Without absolute skill, it looks like what it is: a middle-aged male dressed in lycra pajamas and a goofy helmet wildly wiggling his front wheel and precariously trying not to fall over. It's better to put the foot down, the leg out, and sit slightly askew on the top tube. Casually deliberate.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Nov 3 2011 at 5:54 am

Forgot--if you race cyclocross, you pull the right foot out by habit. Why? Because you dismount to the left side of the bike by bringing your right leg over and behind the saddle while remaining clipped in with the left foot. This way you can roll up to a dismount ready to unclip the left foot and run with the bike on your right shoulder. Hence, you'll see most older racers with their right foot down while sitting casually deliberate.
Blah says:

Nov 3 2011 at 6:32 am

@Jeff in PetroMetro
Ah. I may be wrong, but Australia hasn't had a cyclocross scene until recently (leave the country for five years and look what happens!) so there'll be no influence there.
grumbledook says:

Nov 3 2011 at 6:44 am

Despite the common dismounting maneuver, there is no rule how to sit Casually Deliberate when waiting for a cyclocross race to start.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Nov 3 2011 at 6:55 am

@grumbledook
Right. Agreed. I wasn't talking about how I sat before a race. I was talking about why I pull my right foot out at lights (instead of my left).

Before races, I usually stood with both feet down, bent over the bike, with my elbows resting on the bars. I was pretty anxious and I found anytime I felt jittery, on or off a bike, I'd stand bent over. Right before the start, I'd clip in my left foot (clips and straps), then the gun went off and I'd roll while clipping in the right and pulling on the stap button at the end of the Binda strap. Ancient history.
frank says:

Nov 3 2011 at 7:26 am

@The Potato Man

So, back on the Casually Deliberate waiting for lights to change. What is the ruling on track standing? Obviously one has to be sufficiently skilled to carry it off with aplomb, but does this still count as Casually Deliberate?

Track stands are out. You should be able to do one, but they are by their very nature too deliberate and not enough casual.

Track stands are the equivalent of the jogger who runs in place at the stop light. Ever notice how all the good runners just stop and wait, realizing that running in place does nothing to maintain your rhythm and just wastes energy?

Just put your foot down and relax. Its what all the cool kids do.

@ChrisO

Ah, that's different - the fact that lots of people have done it makes it post-modern irony. Although I admit he might need to add an emoticon to make sure everyone understands.

+1
frank says:

Nov 3 2011 at 7:50 am

@ChrisO

@Potato Man This answer may or not be influenced by my inability to do track stands but personally I think they fall on the rather too deliberate side of casual.

Just finished reading your post...you know what they say about great minds...
Ron says:

Nov 3 2011 at 7:51 am

Oh gosh, joggers jogging in place. I cringe I see this.

The icing on the cake is when they are 50 LBs overweight and wearing those dumb, gimmicky finger shoes. That gut needs all the support it can get, sport.