A Study in Casually Deliberate: Wait Properly

Casually Deliberate" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Reporters_adab0bcf0e6a70670.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="508" />
Photo: Reporters Magazine

We spend a small enormity of time waiting. We wait for lights to turn green. We wait for riders to arrive to the ride. We wait for riding partners to finish repairing a flat or mechanical. Due to various practical considerations including the perceived notion that armchairs don’t stuff well into jersey pockets, we generally find ourselves doing our waiting astride our machines rather than more customary accommodations.

Like all Cycling activities, waiting must be undertaken with utmost attention to style and class, with the principles of Casually Deliberate applying in spades. This presents a number of technical challenges, however. Noting that we are clad in full-body spandex, ballet slippers, and what amounts to a hollowed-out coconut on our heads, the matter of looking cool is complicated not insignificantly when seeking to appear at ease perched upon the crossbar of our bikes, a device more likely to be used to provide sterility treatment than comfortable seating.

Take, for example, this photo of Faboo, Burghardt, and Huevo Rancheros. Motorcus and Burggie are using my preferred method of extending the right leg while resting the topmost portion of the hamstring on the top tube just fore of the seatpost. I prefer this technique not only for its obvious casual nature, but for its numerous functional qualities. First, having the right leg, not the left, extended ensures we don’t inadvertently apply the Cat 5 Tattoo. Second, it ensures our hamstring doesn’t become a hamstrung should the right foot suffer unexpected slippage.

Huevo, in contrast, is using an entirely unorthodox approach adopted, I’m assuming, from riding his skuut. Knowing he’s had some work done in the region, I suspect it might be more comfortable for him than for anyone not similarly unaltered and it is with that consideration that I strongly recommend this approach be avoided.

A broad glance at the riders in this photo reveals myriad examples of Waiting Properly while employing subtle differences in execution. The similarities are clear, however:

  1. Under no circumstances is one to look straight ahead or focus on a single object, however interesting that object may be. Instead, always look up or down, or try looking thoughtfully into the distance; just because you’re a Cyclist doesn’t mean you’re not also concerned about world issues.
  2. Just like in band photos, never smile unnecessarily. Sure, you enjoy cycling, but your bike isn’t telling amusing anecdotes. Also don’t frown, because that’s depressing. Accepted facial expressions include keeping a straight face or grimacing because of how hard you just drilled it coming up to the light.
  3. Decide what to do with your hands. Rest your elbows on the tops of your bars, lean with your hands on the hoods on locked elbows, or sit upright with your hands loosely draped in your lap. Experts may mix and match.
  4. Waiting at a café while sipping an espresso and perusing the morning paper may be done while leaning against the toptube of the bicycle, but risks include having the bicycle roll to the right or left unexpectedly, resulting in the obvious undesirable effects.
  5. Waiting at a café may also be undertaken while the bicycle has been lovingly leaned against a nearby wall. In this case, however, one must be careful to read a French daily.
frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Buck Rogers
    I have been trying to get my hands on Le Métier but cant seem to find it in stock. Any one have any ideas on a good source?

  • @Tartan1749
    Sweet another dude from WPA! Where are you at? I'm about an hour north of PGH on the turnpike.

    About that Millar's chainring, I'm assuming that is for aero. Are my eyes deceiving me or are those elliptical/non-round rings?

  • Ah, they are rotors, no? Does anyone have any experience with those or others? I've always wondered.

  • @DerHoggz
    Maybe you have an astigmatism. Just kidding, they are non round, check out the kink in the chain right under the DZ Nutz logo. And that custom carbon aero fairing is insane.

  • @Dr C

    To trackstand whilst espousing "casually deliberate" one must remain seated (technically a tracksit).

    To bring it back to the photo at top, Lance just exudes pure arrogance mixed with class. The fact that the rainbow stripes on the sleeve is not the defining feature of that photo says a lot. When all is said and done, he was such a badass on the bike. Respect.

  • @D-Man

    @Dr C
    To trackstand whilst espousing "Casually Deliberate" one must remain seated (technically a tracksit).

    which is really only possible with a photograph and a cardboard cut out, so really best avoided

    @Tartan1749
    I wouldn't get a tattoo done even if held at gunpoint, but if I had a gun pointed at me, this is what I'd request - class +1

  • @frank

    @grumbledook


    Despite the common dismounting maneuver, there is no rule how to sit Casually Deliberate when waiting for a cyclocross race to start.

    Exquisite

    this photo clearly demonstrates that living somewhere in black and white makes you look a lot harder and cooler than living in a technicolor country

  • A few thoughts.

    -It will always be easier to look like the pros then to actually perform like the pros. Hell, let's face it, I'm never going to perform like them. Might as well make suffering look good though. When I first got into cycling there was this guy who always looked fantastic. I mean he had multiple helmets and shoes just so that he could always match. He had perfect posture on and off the bike. Just looked pro. I remember always thinking, "This guy must be hella strong." Once, I was strong enough to join the A ride and I got to see him perform, I was extremely dissapointed. He was absolutely weak. I had been duped by the casually deliberate.

    -Your comment on the cat-5 tattoo forced an actual LOL out of me. It brought back memories of how my buddy and I used to tell noobies, "Two things you never want to get caught with, hairy legs or grease on your calf, and God help you if I catch with both at the same time!!"

    -That picture of Voeckler is simply epic.

    B. Cog

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @grumbledook
    Right. Agreed. I wasn't talking about how I sat before a race. I was talking about why I pull my right foot out at lights (instead of my left).
    Before races, I usually stood with both feet down, bent over the bike, with my elbows resting on the bars. I was pretty anxious and I found anytime I felt jittery, on or off a bike, I'd stand bent over. Right before the start, I'd clip in my left foot (clips and straps), then the gun went off and I'd roll while clipping in the right and pulling on the stap button at the end of the Binda strap. Ancient history.

    Right before the start I clip in both shoes and wait "track-standing".
    This is a huge advantage when the pack is small and you can start first line :)

  • @frank

    @grumbledook

    Despite the common dismounting maneuver, there is no rule how to sit Casually Deliberate when waiting for a cyclocross race to start.

    Exquisite.
    By the way, is the an IF Titanium 'cross bike? Considering having a local frame builder make me a Ti 'cross bike and wondering how the material performs for the discipline.

    Yes, it is. Ti is perfect for CX. Due to the huge variety of available
    tubing dimensions (diamters, wall thickness, +/- butting) the ride can
    be fully customized (sofa-soft or hard as a rock). And I like the shot-peened
    surface of my IF! You don't need to care about scratches, about paint chipping off
    and of course not about corrosion. Together with the complete Chris King
    package (HS, hubs, BB) and a stainless steel chain, I don't mind to use the
    pressure washer after each ride. Let it dry and apply a bit of chain lube
    afterwards and the bike is ready for the next one :)

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