A Study in Casually Deliberate: Wait Properly

Casually Deliberate" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Reporters_adab0bcf0e6a70670.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="508" />
Photo: Reporters Magazine

We spend a small enormity of time waiting. We wait for lights to turn green. We wait for riders to arrive to the ride. We wait for riding partners to finish repairing a flat or mechanical. Due to various practical considerations including the perceived notion that armchairs don’t stuff well into jersey pockets, we generally find ourselves doing our waiting astride our machines rather than more customary accommodations.

Like all Cycling activities, waiting must be undertaken with utmost attention to style and class, with the principles of Casually Deliberate applying in spades. This presents a number of technical challenges, however. Noting that we are clad in full-body spandex, ballet slippers, and what amounts to a hollowed-out coconut on our heads, the matter of looking cool is complicated not insignificantly when seeking to appear at ease perched upon the crossbar of our bikes, a device more likely to be used to provide sterility treatment than comfortable seating.

Take, for example, this photo of Faboo, Burghardt, and Huevo Rancheros. Motorcus and Burggie are using my preferred method of extending the right leg while resting the topmost portion of the hamstring on the top tube just fore of the seatpost. I prefer this technique not only for its obvious casual nature, but for its numerous functional qualities. First, having the right leg, not the left, extended ensures we don’t inadvertently apply the Cat 5 Tattoo. Second, it ensures our hamstring doesn’t become a hamstrung should the right foot suffer unexpected slippage.

Huevo, in contrast, is using an entirely unorthodox approach adopted, I’m assuming, from riding his skuut. Knowing he’s had some work done in the region, I suspect it might be more comfortable for him than for anyone not similarly unaltered and it is with that consideration that I strongly recommend this approach be avoided.

A broad glance at the riders in this photo reveals myriad examples of Waiting Properly while employing subtle differences in execution. The similarities are clear, however:

  1. Under no circumstances is one to look straight ahead or focus on a single object, however interesting that object may be. Instead, always look up or down, or try looking thoughtfully into the distance; just because you’re a Cyclist doesn’t mean you’re not also concerned about world issues.
  2. Just like in band photos, never smile unnecessarily. Sure, you enjoy cycling, but your bike isn’t telling amusing anecdotes. Also don’t frown, because that’s depressing. Accepted facial expressions include keeping a straight face or grimacing because of how hard you just drilled it coming up to the light.
  3. Decide what to do with your hands. Rest your elbows on the tops of your bars, lean with your hands on the hoods on locked elbows, or sit upright with your hands loosely draped in your lap. Experts may mix and match.
  4. Waiting at a café while sipping an espresso and perusing the morning paper may be done while leaning against the toptube of the bicycle, but risks include having the bicycle roll to the right or left unexpectedly, resulting in the obvious undesirable effects.
  5. Waiting at a café may also be undertaken while the bicycle has been lovingly leaned against a nearby wall. In this case, however, one must be careful to read a French daily.
frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @RedRanger

    @Steampunk
    I'll see what his pops says then maybe slide that request in. My main goal is to get the book and read it.

    I was all tongue-in-cheek on my comment. I would not ask for it to be signed, unless you knew that he was with his dad, o/w risks being a bit rude, in my opinion.

    But the main thing is to get the book and read it as it is really amazing.

  • @MrBigCog

    A few thoughts.
    -It will always be easier to look like the pros then to actually perform like the pros. Hell, let's face it, I'm never going to perform like them. Might as well make suffering look good though. When I first got into cycling there was this guy who always looked fantastic. I mean he had multiple helmets and shoes just so that he could always match. He had perfect posture on and off the bike. Just looked pro. I remember always thinking, "This guy must be hella strong." Once, I was strong enough to join the A ride and I got to see him perform, I was extremely dissapointed. He was absolutely weak. I had been duped by the Casually Deliberate.
    -Your comment on the cat-5 tattoo forced an actual LOL out of me. It brought back memories of how my buddy and I used to tell noobies, "Two things you never want to get caught with, hairy legs or grease on your calf, and God help you if I catch with both at the same time!!"
    -That picture of Voeckler is simply epic.
    B. Cog

    Brilliant. Your guy obviously was a little too casual and not deliberate enough. Issue being to find the line between looking good and also laying down The V. You can only look Pro if you lay down the V and Look Fantastic. And remember, laying down the V doesn't have anything to do with how fast you go, it has to do with how hard you push yourself. Your guy obviously didn't get this aspect of cycling.

    @Dr C

    @frank

    @grumbledook

    Despite the common dismounting maneuver, there is no rule how to sit Casually Deliberate when waiting for a cyclocross race to start.

    Exquisite

    this photo clearly demonstrates that living somewhere in black and white makes you look a lot harder and cooler than living in a technicolor country

    Ha!

  • @ChrisO
    @Potato Man This answer may or not be influenced by my inability to do track stands but personally I think they fall on the rather too deliberate side of casual.

    @frank

    @The Potato Man

    So, back on the Casually Deliberate waiting for lights to change. What is the ruling on track standing? Obviously one has to be sufficiently skilled to carry it off with aplomb, but does this still count as Casually Deliberate?

    Track stands are out. You should be able to do one, but they are by their very nature too deliberate and not enough casual.
    Track stands are the equivalent of the jogger who runs in place at the stop light. Ever notice how all the good runners just stop and wait, realizing that running in place does nothing to maintain your rhythm and just wastes energy?
    Just put your foot down and relax. Its what all the cool kids do.

    I feel I must defend the trackstand as a method of awaiting the green light as it is my preferred style.

    Yes I agree, rather more deliberate than casual, but when done well it can exude confidence and "oneness" with your machine that is hard to ignore. Of course one has to be rock solid but relaxed in ones trackstand to achieve this. A well executed trackstand proves that you have done the hard yards and learnt to handle your bike in every situation with aplomb. This isn't even mentioning the awesomeness of the seated trackstand pointed out by Dr C. This requires a skill level so far above that of any onlookers that they immediately give you the respect that you deserve as a master of the cycling craft.

    And importantly, no matter how bad the execution of the trackstand, is is far better than missing a clip in and spend the rest of the intersection looking at your shoes as they skid off pedals in your ever increasing desperate attempts to re-engage with your bike. Seriously not PRO.

  • I think what is missed by many is that most motorists don't have a feel for the exquisite nuances of cycling. I unclip and put my foot down on the ground at every intersection that requires a stop. Why? Because that is the only visual queue most drivers will interpret correctly as "stopping". Don't get me wrong, track stands are bad ass (and beyond me), but to ask the average driver to interpret someone doing a cirque du soleil at the intersection as a "stop" is absurd. Be blatantly obvious about intentions at all times. This is the spirit of Rule #63.

  • @itburns

    I think what is missed by many is that most motorists don't have a feel for the exquisite nuances of cycling. I unclip and put my foot down on the ground at every intersection that requires a stop. Why? Because that is the only visual queue most drivers will interpret correctly as "stopping". Don't get me wrong, track stands are bad ass (and beyond me), but to ask the average driver to interpret someone doing a cirque du soleil at the intersection as a "stop" is absurd. Be blatantly obvious about intentions at all times. This is the spirit of Rule #63.

    Yeah unless I can see that the light is in the process of changing my way (Adelaide has heaps of 4-way intersections with very simple patterns & timing) I'm unclipping every time. If I'm likely to be still for more than 5 seconds my foot is going down both because I'm happier relaxing at a stop and it lets everyone around know I'm stopping.

  • @The Potato Man

    And importantly, no matter how bad the execution of the trackstand, is is far better than missing a clip in and spend the rest of the intersection looking at your shoes as they skid off pedals in your ever increasing desperate attempts to re-engage with your bike. Seriously not PRO.

    Being in the same trackstanding league as @itburns, I've found it far more useful to perfect my clip in technique by playing in traffic (i.e., commuting) on a regular basis.

  • Was riding with two pals this weekend, ran into two other pals. Most of us went for some variety of the Casually Deliberate tt crouch/slouch/lounge as we talked for a minute.

    Aside from looking cool, it's also a nice touch to bend over and provide some coverage when one is in Lycra. Yeah, we all realize we're in ridiculous outfits without much possibility to cover up, but sitting is better than a standing stretch.

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