As we grow older, humility takes it’s chilling hold. The little nagging questions like, “Will this next activity kill me?” start to weigh heavier on our minds. It’s not that these questions weren’t asked when we gripped our youth like a toddler grips his penis; it’s just that they didn’t mean as much to us then as they do now.
You see, when you’re young and that particular question is asked, it is spoken in a wimpy voice which sounds a lot like it’s being a Pussy. As we get older, the Smart Ones realize that annoying sound is actually the “Voice of Reason” and that perhaps we should not ask our buddy to “hold our beer” while we attempt the as-yet-unaccomplished feat of jumping our BMX from the top of the interchange to that tiny little ledge an impossible distance away.
Such is the progression from Sprinteur to Rouleur. The devaluation of risk versus reward; of the pleasure of winning versus the pleasure of winning at all costs. We’ve seen it before; Sean Kelly wins Green at the Tour more times than I can count and then turns to winning the Classics instead. Eddy Planckaert starts as a sprinter, eases into winning Flanders, then wins Green, and turns to winning Roubaix. Johan Museeuw wins Green and becomes the Lion of Flanders, never to ride the Tour again. George Hincapie made the same transition, albeit without any of the aforementioned results. I feel strongly that after a season of near-misses in the classics and taking a beating in the gallops, Tom Boonen is about to follow suit.
It’s a natural move from Sprinteur to Rouleur, but often it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact time when the transition happens; Kelly, Planckaert, and Museeuw made the change gradually. I don’t know who the guy is pictured here in front of Jalabert – he appears to be either Dutch or Luxembourgian, based on the cuffs of his sleeve. Whoever he is, he looks completely fucked – not to mention that we never heard from him again after such a nasty crash. I can make an educated guess that, based on the apish look on his face, he’s probably Dutch. (I’m Dutch, so that’s not racist. If you lash back in kind, I’ll sic the Anit-Dutch Police on you. They are mean, and will get the Swiss to write you an angry letter, so don’t tell me you weren’t warned.)
Between the two subjects in the photo, the Dutchemburg guy looks by far the better off. The crash was caused by a Policeman wanting to photograph the finish of the 1994 Tour Stage to Armentieres, and who in his idiotic Darwinism stepped into the path of the charging bunch. Jalabert required extensive facial surgery in order to stop looking like a stand-in for a horror movie, but nevertheless returned to win the Dotty Jumper a couple times in the Tour – distinguishing himself as the only rider besides Eddy Merckx and Bernard Hinault to win both the Spotted Dick and the Green Willie.
For that, I thank the ape-man in the sweet Cinelli hairnet for offering us the Defining Moment in Jalabert’s career when he became an all-rounder who won our hearts.
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@Souleur
That needs to be printed and distributed to the weak as inspiration to rise up.
@ZachOlson
No real bone breakages but a back injury that hasn't healed in 10 years when I absorbed a number of riders square in the back. That and the permanent damage that Paulo caused me, but that wasn't from me racing.
Collar bones, shoulders, elbows, wrists, little bones in hands all break pretty commonly. Big bones like femurs are really hard to break, but it seemed that broke pretty commonly a few years back, which made me really wonder about bone-density issues perhaps related to drugs.
@Marko
Ha!
@ZachOlson
While I am broken bone free, I have a little saying that I like to tell my friends and family. And it goes:
As a cyclist, I have a little alarm clock sitting on my collarbone always ticking down, at some point that alarm is going to go off...
For some reason, they don't find it funny.
@Marko I broke my nose once, drunkenly boxing a large man in a blonde wig with pigtail braids. One of my finer moments.
@Collin I fear that my alarm clock hasn't been removed, only reset.
Coming back from a crash is nerve-wracking, and I found out that having a little rainy day slide-out after being cut off by a car took care of a lot of those nerves. Just have to remember that shit happens but it's not all so bad.
@ZachOlson
That's what Rule 64 is all about.
I recently switched to Scwalbe Ultremos on Bike Number One which I had the pleasure of riding today. The trouble is, it started to rain, and in when of the many hairpin turns while descending, the tires revealed themselves as being truly unnerving as both wheels would slide out simultaneously.
I love those tires - they roll beautifully and take a high pressure, but Merckx they suck in the wet.
I think I may have the answer as to why Ja-Ja's Bolles stayed on (other than violating Rule 37). Back in the day, those Bolles came with two pairs of interchangable earpieces that telescoped into the main legs of the glasses. One was the now standard slightly curved and hooked leg, the other was a pair of semi-circular hooks that really wrapped around the back of the ear. I still have a pair that are still going strong. You could also get a great range of lenses: red, clear, yellow, great, brown and variations with mirrored finishes.
@wiscot
I think you might be onto something, mate. Gianni sent me a pair of old Oakley EyeShades that have the same attachments. Strongly played.
@frank
Have you tried Open Corsas? They are as supple as can be and roll beautifully, have a bit of tread for grip in the wet, and can take enough pressure to support a Dutch giant like yourself. Personally I like to run them at lower pressures for better cornering -- they handle that well too.
@Nate
Yeah, I've ridden them for ages; for urban riding, the rubber is much too soft and they get cut up too easily, although their ride quality is phenomenal. I've found the GP4000's to be the best all-round riding tire. The rubber is durable enough to not get torn up, and they have a good ride to them as well.
I'm looking forward to trying the GP4000's when my current tires wear out. I have a set of Vittoria Zaffiro tires, which came with my wheels. I was all set to replace them ASAP, but I've actually found them to be pretty darn nice, considering that they aren't exactly expensive. I have over 2,400 km on them so far, with no flats and no sliced-up sidewalls, which is quite surprising. When inflated properly for my weight, they roll and corner well.