European Posterior Tubular (EPTB)

EPMS." width="620" height="465" /> The European Posterior Tubular, tied on by a toe strap. This ain’t no EPMS.

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use sends people completely out of their minds. One fine gentleman even threatened my editor at Cyclist Magazine with cancellation of his subscription on the basis that they published an article wherein I espoused the virtues of going EPMS-less. If I recall correctly, the reader felt my writing was, “a black eye on an otherwise flawless magazine.” Some people, it appears, really love their saddle bags.

Nevertheless, the truth remains: they are ugly and there is no need for one if you choose your tools carefully and maintain your bicycle appropriately. Granted, if you prefer an al fresco lunch mid-ride and therefore require room for a baguette, some brie, and a nice bottle of Burgundy, you may require more than a jersey pocket. Similarly, if you are of the mechanical inclination that requires you carry a press for on-the-road headset replacements, you might also require some additional storage. That said, if your mechanical skills are at a level that your bicycle is in such a state, I might argue that carrying a cell phone and an emergency contact list is really all you need because the tools are unlikely to help.

But I digress. Ugly though the EPMS may be, it is obviously perfectly acceptable to tie a spare tubular tire under your saddle. This is for the obvious and irrefutable reason that riding tubs is for the more cultured Velominatus and strapping a tire under the saddle is the traditional way the Europeans have handled carrying a spare tire ever since they stopped carrying them strapped over their shoulders. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by the fact that a European Posterior Tubular is often mistaken for an saddlebag. One is a nod to our heritage, the other an abomination sense and style. Trust me on this.

But carrying a spare tub does pose a challenge: how do you roll it up into a small enough package that it (a) doesn’t sway (b) doesn’t rub the insides of your pistoning guns and (c) doesn’t fall off and get tangled up in your wheel.

The first two are a matter of what style of tire to carry. The natural inclination is to carry a spare tire identical to the ones you are riding on your wheels, but that is likely to be a 23 or 25 mm tire and will be rather bulky when rolled up. Instead, the spare should be considered an emergency tire intended to get you safely through the rest of your ride; you’ll be pulling it off and gluing it on properly when you get home, so it can be chosen for its folding size and weight rather than to match it to the tires you normally ride. Then comes the question of how to roll it up into a tiny package which can be neatly strapped under the saddle (see photos). Finally – and I learned this the hard way – if the tire does come loose over some unusually rough roads (say, washboards on a high speed gravel descent), you will want it to stay in the small bundle rather than unwinding and getting tangled in your back wheel.

European Posterior Tubular Guidelines:

  1. Find a light, 19mm tubular tire. I use one by TUFO; it has no inner tube so it is skinny and light and rolls up tight.
  2. Pre-glue the tire and follow the below procedure to roll it up (photos).
  3. Wrap an industrial strength rubber band around the tire. This will keep it in its rolled up bundle with or without a toe strap, meaning it will stay in said bundle even as it tumbles from your saddle.
  4. Us a leather toe-clip strap and a leather toe-clip strap only to affix said tire to saddle. No pouches, not fabric straps. Make sure it is tight and secure the loose end of the strap.
  5. Respond to all accusations of violating Rule #29 with a defiant but tempered disgust which subtly hints that the accuser is an unsophisticated clincher rider who doesn’t understand the greater nuances of our sport.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Folding a Tub/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @PT

    more like a religious fetish

    Isn't that the point of this place?

    Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days pouring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling's colorful fabric.  This is the Velominati's raison d'être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony - our badge of honor - our sin.

  • @asyax

    @Haldy

    I wish I could explain how his eyes lit up when he was scribbling down Special Pink next to my fit numbers.

    Ha, you will definitely have to post a pic of that frame when you receive it/ have built it up - would love to see what he is going to do with it!

    Will do! I can't wait either!

  • @asyax

    @Haldy

    I wish I could explain how his eyes lit up when he was scribbling down Special Pink next to my fit numbers.

    Ha, you will definitely have to post a pic of that frame when you receive it/ have built it up - would love to see what he is going to do with it!

    Will do! I can't wait either!

    @antihero

    @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Ha

    @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Jay I have never been but hear great things about it, as well as Tom and Jeff. A Spectrum would be on the short list, if I hadn't taken delivery of a Kirk in the last year.

    Wait...would be on the short list, or is on the short list..after all...Rule 12...

    Alas the finance committee has other priorities.

    That doesn't mean the list can't still exist! :) Despite the future arrival of the Peg and Sachs..I have my eyes on an IndyFab, or a FireFly..and since I have never owned a carbon bike...

    You obviously aren't working at the Velominatus Budgetatus end of the spectrum. Put me down for a Peg too. On your tab.

    I am fortunate enough to be employed within the industry so I have access to beautiful, beautiful bikes..at less than full pop! So I very much embrace Rule 12.

  • @Nate

    @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Ha

    @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Jay I have never been but hear great things about it, as well as Tom and Jeff. A Spectrum would be on the short list, if I hadn't taken delivery of a Kirk in the last year.

    Wait...would be on the short list, or is on the short list..after all...Rule 12...

    Alas the finance committee has other priorities.

    That doesn't mean the list can't still exist! :) Despite the future arrival of the Peg and Sachs..I have my eyes on an IndyFab, or a FireFly..and since I have never owned a carbon bike...

    ... a Crumpton.

    As for me, Spectrum, Rock Lobster, Hampaten, maybe a steel Peg.

    Crumpton would be a good choice for sure. I also have a Parlee on the list. A shop I ran dealt Parlee bikes and I got to take a tour of the Parlee factory and talk with Bob Parlee himself for a day. We did up a worksheet of my dream bike from them while I was there so I could see thier process. All I need to do is call...and spend.. :-)

    Since I have a steel and ti Seven..the 622 carbon bike( with Ti lugs) is also a very tempting choice.

  • A lot of steel talk, so I thought I'd share one of mine.

    My poor photography skills don't do this understated, but slick, paint job justice. Here is my Casati Laser 75th anniversary steed. Finally decided my position was set and cut the fork steerer. Despite having a few nice bikes, this one is my favorite to ride. Columbus Genius tubeset. Had the good fortune to meet the Casati folks/family at the NAHBS in Charlotte earlier this year. Pretty cool to meet Gianni Casati's son. Nothing too fancy, but everything is good, solid parts and the ride quality is superb.

    *Yes, the Open Pro rims are mismatched. Not my choice, not my decision. Got a deal on them and despite it formerly having pissed me off, I've let it go, found peace with it. Open Pros to Record hubs, not going to pull them apart for a rebuild until I have an issue with them.

  • @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Ha

    @Haldy

    @Nate

    @Jay I have never been but hear great things about it, as well as Tom and Jeff. A Spectrum would be on the short list, if I hadn't taken delivery of a Kirk in the last year.

    Wait...would be on the short list, or is on the short list..after all...Rule 12...

    Alas the finance committee has other priorities.

    That doesn't mean the list can't still exist! :) Despite the future arrival of the Peg and Sachs..I have my eyes on an IndyFab, or a FireFly..and since I have never owned a carbon bike...

    ... a Crumpton.

    As for me, Spectrum, Rock Lobster, Hampaten, maybe a steel Peg.

    Crumpton would be a good choice for sure. I also have a Parlee on the list. A shop I ran dealt Parlee bikes and I got to take a tour of the Parlee factory and talk with Bob Parlee himself for a day. We did up a worksheet of my dream bike from them while I was there so I could see thier process. All I need to do is call...and spend.. :-)

    Since I have a steel and ti Seven..the 622 carbon bike( with Ti lugs) is also a very tempting choice.

    Nice.  The more one thinks about it, the longer the list will get.

  • Ha, Nate...but I don't have a garage, nor a garage door! Okay, I'll see if I can grab one tonight.

  • I'm a little late to party, but BEST POST EVER! (This may not be the first time I've said that)

    And timely too.  The one concern I had about Looking Fantastic during last Saturday's race was the bulky spare sticking out of my jersey pocket.  Oh, and getting spit out the back of the peloton was slightly concerning too.

  • @frank

    @piwakawaka

    So what's goin' on here? The world champ, racing with No.1 on the frame changing a tub? Is he so far up the road that not even neutral service can reach him? Cracking shot, sweat, veins popping, the Guns...

    He's on a training ride during the second rest day of the 1990 Tour.

    Ahh, now it makes sense, love his approach to a rest day, great shot.

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