Gravity

In defiance of Gravity, we touch the heavens

Gravity is the most unavoidable force on Earth, with the possible exception of Stupidity. And like with Stupidity, you can take measures to reduce its influence on you, but you won’t get rid of it completely, assuming you’re staying on this planet. From the very moment we’re born, Gravity takes its unrelenting hold on us – which isn’t altogether bad because I learned from watching Despicable Me that as soon as someone is smart enough to invent anti-gravity serum, someone will be stupid enough to leave a skylight open.

We Cyclists protect a secret from the rest of the world: we can defy gravity. Riding allows us to float a few meters above the ground, suspended in a cloak of V. Add a little speed to the mix and a maybe few sweeping switchbacks and we are as close to achieving human flight as we will ever get.

Once we trade flat roads for the hills, Gravity reveals its true secret to us: the mind can overcome physical limits when we form the cohesive unit of bicycle and rider. There is a symbiotic bond that forms; Gravity pulls us down toward the bottom of the hill, and we require our strength to counter its force and scale the heights. The strength required to achieve this takes a heavy toll on our body, and it is only through focus and determination that we keep the legs turning over smoothy. Riding back down the other side, we learn to fool Gravity and explore the intersection of centripetal force, friction, and our old friend Stupidity.

With practice, we learn that our mind can drive us to overcome the the physical limits of not just our bodies, but Gravity itself. Its hold on us remains, but the effects are greatly diminished. In defiance of Gravity, we rise to touch the heavens and ride where angels fly.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Chris says:

Apr 3 2014 at 5:25 am

@Teocalli Indeed, it was all about sports at my school but there were other benefits that I would never have enjoyed had I ended up in the state system; 20 years of enjoyable gainful employment despite a stellar underachievement in my A-Levels would probably be top of the list.
Ccos says:

Apr 3 2014 at 5:29 am

@Frank Gravity is a lot like friction: there are times in life when we do our best to counteract its influence as best we can and other times when we try like hell to seek it out.
Teocalli says:

Apr 3 2014 at 6:49 am

@Chris

@Teocalli Indeed, it was all about sports at my school but there were other benefits that I would never have enjoyed had I ended up in the state system; 20 years of enjoyable gainful employment despite a stellar underachievement in my A-Levels would probably be top of the list.

Ha Ha! We could have been twins! I presume that also included a fair amount of causing your parents to tear their hair out over just scraping through exams. One of the best reports I remember was "If David put anything like the effort into his academic studies as he does into his sport he'd be a straight A pupil". However the one that was clearly wrong was "David must learn that he cannot go through life relying solely on his natural charm" - that one has worked so far............
Teocalli says:

Apr 3 2014 at 7:00 am

@Ccos

@Frank Gravity is a lot like friction: there are times in life when we do our best to counteract its influence as best we can and other times when we try like hell to seek it out.

I had one of those last night, fortunately I was in the car on the way to going cycling and not actually cycling. Suffice it to say that everything in the back of the car ended up in the front of the car but I did manage to avoid the idiot who drove out in front of me and no damage to the bike gear that flew from the back of the car.
Chris says:

Apr 3 2014 at 7:07 am

@Teocalli

@Chris

@Teocalli Indeed, it was all about sports at my school but there were other benefits that I would never have enjoyed had I ended up in the state system; 20 years of enjoyable gainful employment despite a stellar underachievement in my A-Levels would probably be top of the list.

Ha Ha! We could have been twins!... ...However the one that was clearly wrong was "David must learn that he cannot go through life relying solely on his natural charm" - that one has worked so far............

Sssshhhh, we'll be found out!
xyxax says:

Apr 3 2014 at 8:07 am

@ChrisO

@LeoTea

@Rob I'll take hills over a headwind any day of the week. At least gravity is consistent. It doesn't change strength or direction on a whim. Conquering a hill gives me a sense of achievement. Wrestling a headwind just annoys me.

Gravity is easier to overcome than aerodynamics.

If you go twice as hard uphill you go twice as fast.

To go twice as fast into the wind requires eight times the effort.

Apparently it's physics.

I believe the force of stoopid is also a cube function.
Ron says:

Apr 3 2014 at 8:23 am

@wilburrox

So I'm riding with this young lady tonight:

as she prepares for her first ever crit as a licensed Jr racer this w/e. A local race festival called Sunny King. And we take a last climb up a hill from where we'd parked, turn back to head down and she says, "Can we go fast?" Needless to say, I believe she gets it. Because that my friends is when we embrace gravity! After all, going down hills is the reason for climbing 'em in the first damn place. Cheers, all, RC

This photo, and her question, just made my day! Thank you for sharing. Awesomeness.

And great article, Big Franck!
Ron says:

Apr 3 2014 at 8:24 am

That lead photo is bonkers too. It almost looks fake!
Steve-o says:

Apr 3 2014 at 8:33 am

Brilliant writing, again. Seeing the emotions of cycling - the suffering, the joy, the exhilaration put into words here keeps me coming back. LVV!
ChrisO says:

Apr 3 2014 at 9:21 am

@Teocalli

@Chris

@Teocalli Indeed, it was all about sports at my school but there were other benefits that I would never have enjoyed had I ended up in the state system; 20 years of enjoyable gainful employment despite a stellar underachievement in my A-Levels would probably be top of the list.

Ha Ha! We could have been twins! I presume that also included a fair amount of causing your parents to tear their hair out over just scraping through exams. One of the best reports I remember was "If David put anything like the effort into his academic studies as he does into his sport he'd be a straight A pupil". However the one that was clearly wrong was "David must learn that he cannot go through life relying solely on his natural charm" - that one has worked so far............

Well that also describes my 17 year old son who goes to a very good school, contrives to speak like a sarf lonnon gangsta and seems to think the world is just waiting to prostrate itself at his feet.

It's comforting to know he'll end up like you two.

Now, how do I break this to Mrs ChrisO...