This Hunger is insatiable

My favorite feeling is perhaps the empty hollowness of hunger. That statement, in itself, is a declaration of the privileged life I’ve led; it is borderline obscene to boast of such a thing in a world where 842 million people don’t have enough to eat. Nevertheless, being lucky enough to have been raised in America and just competent enough to hold down a job, I find myself in the enviable position of needing to invoke “discipline” in order to experience this sensation.

All that aside, I love feeling hungry, both physically and metaphorically. Physically, being hungry brings something primal out in me; there is an edge that awakens which feels dormant when I’ve eaten. I’m sharper, more alive somehow.

When I eat or drink too much, I feel it in my flesh; I feel the lethargy that comes with food everywhere. I feel it on my back, I feel it in my limbs, I feel it in my eyes – everything is weighed down and blurred. When I am overweight, I find I can go all day without eating and hardly give it a thought. When I’m training and riding well and my weight is down, I can eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner and never feel sated. That is the feeling of hunger to which I refer; not a desire to starve, but a physical condition where sustenance feels impossible to achieve. This is a beautiful state where everything feels alive and there is a sharpness and precision in every motion.

There is also a metaphorical hunger, which I don’t think we can achieve without the physical sort. The metaphorical sort is borne of desire and need. This is what drives us to achieve more than we normally would. Sean Kelly talks of this hunger in his book by the same name; in his opening chapter, he says he would rather fall into the any of the greenhouses below the sweeping hairpins along the descent from the Poggio into Sanremo than face defeat by Moreno Argentin. That is hunger in the metaphorical sense.

I am a better person when I feel hunger; I have drive, I have humility, I have courage. When hunger stirs, we come alive with an urgency we don’t otherwise find. Without it, there is no compulsion to act, to fight, or to endure.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Great stuff as always. I have two kinds of hunger here - after a shockingly cold winter here in WI, I'm ravenous to get some real, non-trainer miles in my legs. On the other hand, it was my anniversary at work today and I brought in cake. Needless to say, the gym will see me tonight.  I do know what you mean though, because of work commitments, on Wed, Thurs and Fri of last week, a proper dinner wasn't an option. I ate very little and didn't feel any the worse for wear.

  • Amazing - I was only thinking to myself a few days ago, that I feel great with a slight feeling of hunger persisting within me. I have put some quality miles in the legs recently and I'm controlling my food intake in a bid to get closer to my climbing weight. The hunger feeling is like a voice of encouragement within me, a feeling  that the winter blubber is starting to burn away.  I'm starting to feel sharp and alive. 7 lbs to go, I guess - hoping that will be shed during March.

  • Great piece (always excellent to include a Kelly reference who epitomizes the hunger of that sort). Yes, metaphysical hunger separates the achievers from the non-achievers in all things in life,

     and us from the animals (that and thumbs).

  • It's March and I'm not at my climbing weight, therefore I'm on a pharmaceutical cocktail made up of Xenical, Lorcaserin, Phentermine-Topiramate, Benzphetamine, and  Bontril Slow Release. 

     

  • I only have the need to race again at the age of 47 -- that will be next year. This will be a long hungering and satisfying year gone by -- then I line up again.

  • Why is it that the last kg is the hardest to lose? Christ I'm fed up with bananas and tuna! It had better make a massive difference to my climbing, or I will be sorely disappointed (although I doubt I'll be bothering any UCI sanctioned events!).

  • @Darren

    Why is it that the last kg is the hardest to lose? Christ I'm fed up with bananas and tuna! It had better make a massive difference to my climbing, or I will be sorely disappointed (although I doubt I'll be bothering any UCI sanctioned events!).

    Ditch the bananas - all 3 kinds of sugar! There will always be one last kilo, n-1.

  • @frank another good read.

    Both sides of the hunger meaning here also.  As stated, feel alot better when lean and mean, but that just leads me to eating, which makes me feel bloated.  Vicious circle that I find hard to break.

    Maybe those damn vegans are onto something

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