We gather here today to pay our respects to one of the most exciting developments the Cycling world has ever witnessed: the funny bike.
For seventy years, the evolution of the bicycle was marked by incremental change; improvements to brakes, more gears, and better shifting followed one another as the sport grudgingly continued its slow journey towards progress and modernization.
Then, in an instant, disruption. Change. In the years prior to 1984, time trial machines were little more than finely-tuned road machines. But suddenly, spurred on by Francesco Moser’s success in breaking the Hour Record aboard a radical machine with double disc wheels and cow-horn handlebars, we entered a decade of innovation.
In the blink of an eye, we had broken from the shackles of traditional thinking and were suddenly free to think about a bicycle without constraint. Riders appeared in the start house with fairings attached to their saddles and bars mounted below the top tube. Riders toed up to the start line with broom sticks mounted across the drops of their handlebars. Aero bars appeared and with them, the triangular frame design that had graced our machines for three-quarters of a century disappeared. In the span of ten short years, time trial positions went from the standard tuck to the Super Man.
Then, in a crafty maneuver which demonstrates that the UCI’s incompetence is not a recent development, new regulations were introduced which effectively killed innovation in bike design. The UCI regulated the position of the bars, the saddle, the size of the wheels, the design of the frame; even the shape of the tubes are currently highly scrutinized. The UCI even offers an exorbitantly expensive frame certification process.
Join me now, as we examine some examples of the most innovative machines our sport will ever see.
A-Merckx.
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View Comments
(and by that, I mean they're squeaky mofos!)
@Marcus
Ignoring the UCI is hardly the same as innovating. (You must have been a lawyer.)
Innovation is also something a little more than moving the camelback to the downtube. (How do you clean the "bottle"?)
@Xyverz
They are not as bad as you'd think, but it is just too weird to have your saddle height change whenever you go over a bump. They do teach you some tremendous pedaling action, though. Smooths that honker right out.
@Xyverz
Hey!
@frank
Think the massive downtube/headtube which acts as a fairing was somewhat innovative. So what is it, now you have written 90-odd bike rules, you think you can start messing with how words are defined in the English language you Dutch-American Douche?
Innovation is simply the act of introducing something new. For instance, by me bringing logic to this discussion by citing a definition, I may be seen as innovative - as logic is certainly new to any discussion with you.
Now there are certainly degrees of innovation and I am sorry if the Specialised Shiv did not meet your desired level. I guess a turtleneck-wearing high-school-virgin IT guy like you needs something especially innovative to be sufficiently impressed? Go write some code on your fucking 6G ipad.
NB. I think I recall they did try to go with UCI rules, then had the bike knocked back so they are going with "we ignored the UCI".
At any rate, I don't know how you clean it out - I imagine the bladder in the downtube would end up getting pretty funky...
@mcsqueak
Man, you're getting hammered today (inside joke).
For reference, I believe the bladder is removable, so cleaned like a camelbak.
@frank
@Nate
Jeez Frank trust you to dig that up- forgot you had access to it... Nate that was a 60 tooth on the front there with a 5 speed straight block. It was a rockin little bike that was a perfect crit bike.
Oh and just for you eagle eyed Rules freaks who might pick up on the sock violation I sometimes would do the trackie thing in crits. Duegi all leather shoes with bare feet and double Binda reinforced toe straps was like a vice grip made from virgin baby boa constrictors.
@sthilzy
And yes that Kronotech is what we are missing ... It looks like it was made yesterday.
@DerHoggz
I've never even touched a new one - they're just unhygienic - end.
@frank
Tell me you didn't actually own a Softride. I'll pack my bags and leave this joint straight away.