In Memoriam: The Funny Bike

Laurent Fignon's Hour Record Machine

We gather here today to pay our respects to one of the most exciting developments the Cycling world has ever witnessed: the funny bike.

For seventy years, the evolution of the bicycle was marked by incremental change; improvements to brakes, more gears, and better shifting followed one another as the sport grudgingly continued its slow journey towards progress and modernization.

Then, in an instant, disruption. Change. In the years prior to 1984, time trial machines were little more than finely-tuned road machines. But suddenly, spurred on by Francesco Moser’s success in breaking the Hour Record aboard a radical machine with double disc wheels and cow-horn handlebars, we entered a decade of innovation.

In the blink of an eye, we had broken from the shackles of traditional thinking and were suddenly free to think about a bicycle without constraint. Riders appeared in the start house with fairings attached to their saddles and bars mounted below the top tube. Riders toed up to the start line with broom sticks mounted across the drops of their handlebars. Aero bars appeared and with them, the triangular frame design that had graced our machines for three-quarters of a century disappeared. In the span of ten short years, time trial positions went from the standard tuck to the Super Man.

Then, in a crafty maneuver which demonstrates that the UCI’s incompetence is not a recent development, new regulations were introduced which effectively killed innovation in bike design. The UCI regulated the position of the bars, the saddle, the size of the wheels, the design of the frame; even the shape of the tubes are currently highly scrutinized. The UCI even offers an exorbitantly expensive frame certification process.

Join me now, as we examine some examples of the most innovative machines our sport will ever see.

A-Merckx.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Marcus
    Didn't specialized make 2 versions of the Shiv, one UCI compliant and one not? I think the main difference was the nose cone fairing, and possibly the seat setback and the 3 to 1 rule for tube shapes. the first year they bought it out, they had to keep their transition in the line because that bike was UCI compliant, while the first version of the Shiv wasn't.

  • @Daccordi Rider

    Kind of looks like someone left it in the sun too long, but I like it.

    SOLID GOLD.

    The front disc. Whole lotta WTF right there, mister. Do you hate the skin on your shoulders?

    @scaler911
    Wait, you threatened your departure if I owned a Softride and you have that fucking thing sitting around in your garage? Seriously dude.

  • @frank
    I've mentioned this before, but I have a buddy that got a Softride tattoo in exchange for a free Softride frame. Haven't seen him in years, but I'm guessing that's a decision he's now regretting.

  • @frank

    @Daccordi Rider

    Kind of looks like someone left it in the sun too long, but I like it.

    SOLID GOLD.

    The front disc. Whole lotta WTF right there, mister. Do you hate the skin on your shoulders?

    @scaler911
    Wait, you threatened your departure if I owned a Softride and you have that fucking thing sitting around in your garage? Seriously dude.

    Touchè.

  • @scaler911

    Took me awhile to post this: Had to take a Valium to get rid of the seizure this induced:

    Hey Ernesto, you know when I realize I need to cork the bottle of wine? When I forget to walk out from behind the fence before spray-painting the bike.

  • @frank
    (Sighs) Don't worry, Marcus knows I'm on his farm, fucking his sheep just like he thought I'd be. Now when he rides his BMX down to Maccas for his 2 big macs, he'll know where they've been.

  • @scaler911

    @frank

    Where's the television and satellite dish? Ha!

    Seriously! They both report speed, distance, etc. But the bigger one is also the brain for his (gulp) Mektronic system, which he has on all his favorite bikes. He keeps finding people who are willing to sell their set to him for next to nothing. HINT! The other one has a HR feature.

    Pretty sweet bike though, especially considering he pulls down on that thing at the ripe age of 65 or whatever he is now.

  • @frank

    I have a couple of Daccordis but not that beauty I'm afraid. If one ever comes up it's mine, but pretty hard to come by in Oz.

  • @frank

    @scaler911

    @frank

    Where's the television and satellite dish? Ha!

    Seriously! They both report speed, distance, etc. But the bigger one is also the brain for his (gulp) Mektronic system, which he has on all his favorite bikes. He keeps finding people who are willing to sell their set to him for next to nothing. HINT! The other one has a HR feature.

    Pretty sweet bike though, especially considering he pulls down on that thing at the ripe age of 65 or whatever he is now.

    I learned this lesson many years ago: no matter how stupid and ridiculous you think something your father is doing is, shut your yap, or you'll get smacked (either literally or figuratively). In his 60's with a kidney transplant and asthma, my dad never fails to impress.

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