In Memoriam: The Funny Bike

Laurent Fignon's Hour Record Machine

We gather here today to pay our respects to one of the most exciting developments the Cycling world has ever witnessed: the funny bike.

For seventy years, the evolution of the bicycle was marked by incremental change; improvements to brakes, more gears, and better shifting followed one another as the sport grudgingly continued its slow journey towards progress and modernization.

Then, in an instant, disruption. Change. In the years prior to 1984, time trial machines were little more than finely-tuned road machines. But suddenly, spurred on by Francesco Moser’s success in breaking the Hour Record aboard a radical machine with double disc wheels and cow-horn handlebars, we entered a decade of innovation.

In the blink of an eye, we had broken from the shackles of traditional thinking and were suddenly free to think about a bicycle without constraint. Riders appeared in the start house with fairings attached to their saddles and bars mounted below the top tube. Riders toed up to the start line with broom sticks mounted across the drops of their handlebars. Aero bars appeared and with them, the triangular frame design that had graced our machines for three-quarters of a century disappeared. In the span of ten short years, time trial positions went from the standard tuck to the Super Man.

Then, in a crafty maneuver which demonstrates that the UCI’s incompetence is not a recent development, new regulations were introduced which effectively killed innovation in bike design. The UCI regulated the position of the bars, the saddle, the size of the wheels, the design of the frame; even the shape of the tubes are currently highly scrutinized. The UCI even offers an exorbitantly expensive frame certification process.

Join me now, as we examine some examples of the most innovative machines our sport will ever see.

A-Merckx.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @frank

    @Marcus

    Basically any change is an adaptation you dumb fucker.

    You're embarrassing yourself, you tit. Innovation is the introduction of something new, which is different from (incremental) change and adaptation, which is taking something which exists and modifying it.

    But you can sit and water the language down if you like - you're in the wrong place. An appreciation for the subtle difference in what a word implies is precisely what we do here. Decals or stickers? Are you a cyclist, or do you bike? Do you fuck sheep or make sweet, gentle love to them?

    Give yourself the plus one badge you fucker!

  • @Rob

    @frank@NateJeez Frank trust you to dig that up- forgot you had access to it... Nate that was a 60 tooth on the front there with a 5 speed straight block. It was a rockin little bike that was a perfect crit bike.Oh and just for you eagle eyed Rules freaks who might pick up on the sock violation I sometimes would do the trackie thing in crits. Duegi all leather shoes with bare feet and double Binda reinforced toe straps was like a vice grip made from virgin baby boa constrictors.

    There is so much else that is so fucking right in that photo that the sock length (despite what the UCI might think) is simply unimportant.

  • The king of funny bikes rides again...

    love the bit on testing it

    We'll just have to take it out onto the A78 and try it there - I'll get a mate to drive behind me while I'm doing it

    How about a quick whip round to sponsor him so the fairing can be painted in V-colours with "Rule 44" emblazoned down the side?

  • @Chris

    The king of funny bikes rides again...

    love the bit on testing it


    We'll just have to take it out onto the A78 and try it there - I'll get a mate to drive behind me while I'm doing it


    How about a quick whip round to sponsor him so the fairing can be painted in V-colours with "Rule 44"³ emblazoned down the side?

    Dude is probably my biggest single source of motivational quotes

    "My biggest fear is not crashing on a bike and losing some skin. It's sitting in a chair at 90 and saying, 'I wish I had done more'. I don't know if I will break the record but I will give it the best punt I can."

  • @Chris

    The king of funny bikes rides again...

    love the bit on testing it

    We'll just have to take it out onto the A78 and try it there - I'll get a mate to drive behind me while I'm doing it

    How about a quick whip round to sponsor him so the fairing can be painted in V-colours with "Rule 44"³ emblazoned down the side?

    While it's a bit of a tangent from funny bikes, check out the video Big Ring Riding posted yesterday of a dude moterpacing on the freeway.

  • @Chris

    How about a quick whip round to sponsor him so the fairing can be painted in V-colours with "Rule #44"³ emblazoned down the side?

    That would be totally awesome. My Sensei got his manager's email when we met Graeme a few weeks ago. Graeme was pretty stoked on what I told him about the Velominati, I'd say he'd appreciate and deserves our support. Should I contact his manager and see if he can set up a donation page or something?

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