It seemed so easy, when I was young, to decide who to love and who to hate. These days, life is a complicated web of heroic deeds and dark shadows. As we get older, it appears our heroes and villains get mixed up.
Fortunately for us, Cycling is about much more than bike racing. It is about loving the machine, submitting ourselves to the cathedral of our environment, about wrapping ourselves in the sensations of the ride. For us, it is about La Vie Velominatus, none of which has anything to do with what the Pros are up to when the lights are turned away. La Vie Velominatus is about the love of life as one of Cycling’s dedicated disciples.
Tyler Hamilton spoke of riding clean as riding paniagua – on bread and water. When a Velominatus speaks of riding clean, we speak of riding on a freshly cleaned bicycle – one of the greatest pleasures to be found.
The process starts with the careful removing of the wheels, then cleaning of the frame, the brakes, the fork, the stem, saddle, and seat pin with soapy water. The wheels are cleaned by scrubbing the rims with a broad brush, and the hubs with a cone brush. The soap has to be frothy enough, it has to stand on its own, like when a cartoon character takes a bath. The foam has to fall off in big clumps and threaten to float away in the breeze.
Finally, the drive train gets its turn. To hold the chain in place, I use a special skewer with a cog that was given to me by @roadslave in a drunken fit of brotherly drive-train-cleaning love at Keepers Tour 2012. I fit the chain on its cog and affix the Park Cyclone which looks distressingly like an abstract representation of Gonzo’s head. Apparently, I’m a big enough man not to be bothered by holding a tool by a Muppets schwantz-like nose, provided it does a good job cleaning my chain. The teeth on the chainrings are cleaned with stiff-bristled brush using the residual solvent left over from cleaning the chain, as are the pulleys in the derailleur.
As a final order of business, the handlebars are scrubbed of any residual dirt and the machine is set aside to dry and await its next ride.
The bike can be cleaned in the workshop or in the driveway, or in the back yard on a sunny day. If the bike is cleaned indoors, it is necessary to play a cycling video in the background. Maybe Stars and Water Carriers, the The Road to Roubaix, or A Sunday in Hell. When cleaning outdoors, it is good to be accompanied by a loyal mut. Whether indoors or out, however, it should always be done with both ample time and a pint at hand. This is a ritual which may not be rushed.
The first ride on a freshly cleaned machine is possibly my favorite. It is much better than the first ride on a new bike, as a new bike is yet unfamiliar beneath you. The freshly cleaned steed, on the other hand, runs flawlessly and we respond to each other like the familiar old friends that we are.
There is no day to ride quite like Clean Bike Day. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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Here seems like an opportunity to seek advice on chain wear as it's been brought up...
Is it prudent to change the chain at regular intervals and before it's visibly worn (as described by @Beers ) in order to protect the cassette? I'm asking as I'm about to buy a new cassette for some new wheels and my LBS guy mentioned replacing the chain and cassette from the existing setup? The drivetrain I'm running now has about 6000km over nearly a full year of NW England riding conditions on it. To be honest, if it fell apart then I'd just have an excuse to upgrade but it's still good to know!
@Beers
I find using a car wash-n-wax real soapy does a great job. I use hot water so it 'melts' any road grime, brake poo, lung butter off the steed, but I stay away with the wash-n-wax from the rim's braking surfaces. There I use only a dampish cloth. If it's the "BIG CLEAN", I take off the tyres, tubes and really give them all a good clean with damp cloths.
The "BIG WASH" for me is total dismantle; chain wheels off, jockey wheels off, cassette off/apart, pedals off, cables off, tyres off, brakes off/springs un-clipped, chain off. Don't throw away disused toothbrushes and ice-cream tubs. Great for cleaning the lubed parts. Either solvent or what ever spirit is within reach. Always leave the seat and stem alone - took long enough to find the 'right position'. Usually hang bike on the clothes line with the seat. The "BIG CLEAN" Always a on sunny day, kid's in the backyard/cubby house, said mutt soaking up the sun near by, VMH offering beverages.
I like to have a clean steed also however the sand in the hourglass runneth out too quickly !!
I have just recently after a shitty rain soaked day given the SST a decent tub and used the trusty Park Cyclone, but never, never and I repeat never have I gotten it so clean as to look like the silver beasts in the picture frank. ..... you could eat ya lunch of those cogs ......
Looks like if got some serious scrubbing to do on the Ultegra's
@heinous
Visibly worn is probably far too late for the chain. I use a Park Tool Chain Checker (Item # CC-2) and change at .75% wear as recommended. Change the chain regularly and change the cassette when a new chain doesn't change smoothly.
It's hard to say what distance that will be at as it depends on your lube, maintenance frequency, riding style and location. My last chain was changed at .75% wear after 3,800 km but I live in South Wales and every ride involves at least 500m of climbing, usually more.
Interesting to note that that particular chain was cleaned and lubed frequently with Rock n Roll Gold. My current chain is at 4,500 km at still not at .75% wear (getting close) it has been ridden much the same but lubed with ProLink Gold from new. Not exactly a controlled trial but a significant difference. ProLink Gold is a messier in that it is stickier but shifting is smoother and apparently better chain life.
@Mark1 Thanks mate - I've learned too late to check the chain wear regularly. I'm obviously putting a massive amount of power through it...
For a Velominatus Neophytus, I'm pretty good about keeping my kit clean and maintained. Once I'd degreased my chain, I found that I'd committed myself to much more regular maintenance though I've been using a lube which I suspect is too light for what has passed for the summer here.
I'm definitely going to explore Frank's waxing regime this winter - my Sunday afternoons are too often spent washing a significant proportion of Lancashire off my drivetrain so anything that makes it less sticky "down below" can only be good.
@Mclennan
Which reminds me - here's the details of the industrial wet wipes I got from the LBS:
@Mclennan I second the baby wipes - I use them after each ride to wipe down the frame, rims, hubs and tires. I find it helps cut down on the need for full wash.
When a full wash is in order I swear by original Dawn dish detergent (for the bike) and LA Awesome citrus degreaser from the dollar store (in the chain cleaner). I finish up with Eagle One Nanowax on the frame and Demonde Tech to lube the chain.
The cleaning ritual is the one thing carbon or black parts can never beat polished metalnon. The satisfaction of cleaning polished crankset and mechs is one that is hard to beat.
I once asked Mrs L if I could temporarily store the No 1 in the bedroom, "Why not ? Its the cleanest thing in the fucking house " was the only reply.
@heinous Lancashire eh ? Near enough my part of the world. It pretty much makes the rain bike and No 1 bike the same thing for me.
@Lepidopterist
Gold! I get a similar-ish reply when I'm out in the shop cleaning the shiny bits; "Your bikes are totally spotless, living in a garage so cluttered you can't walk through, except to get to your bikes and tools"............
@snoov
This is probably exactly what he's talking about. Although seems to me 11s Campa also puts the bigger cogs on a carrier. I'll have to check when I get home.