It seemed so easy, when I was young, to decide who to love and who to hate. These days, life is a complicated web of heroic deeds and dark shadows. As we get older, it appears our heroes and villains get mixed up.
Fortunately for us, Cycling is about much more than bike racing. It is about loving the machine, submitting ourselves to the cathedral of our environment, about wrapping ourselves in the sensations of the ride. For us, it is about La Vie Velominatus, none of which has anything to do with what the Pros are up to when the lights are turned away. La Vie Velominatus is about the love of life as one of Cycling’s dedicated disciples.
Tyler Hamilton spoke of riding clean as riding paniagua – on bread and water. When a Velominatus speaks of riding clean, we speak of riding on a freshly cleaned bicycle – one of the greatest pleasures to be found.
The process starts with the careful removing of the wheels, then cleaning of the frame, the brakes, the fork, the stem, saddle, and seat pin with soapy water. The wheels are cleaned by scrubbing the rims with a broad brush, and the hubs with a cone brush. The soap has to be frothy enough, it has to stand on its own, like when a cartoon character takes a bath. The foam has to fall off in big clumps and threaten to float away in the breeze.
Finally, the drive train gets its turn. To hold the chain in place, I use a special skewer with a cog that was given to me by @roadslave in a drunken fit of brotherly drive-train-cleaning love at Keepers Tour 2012. I fit the chain on its cog and affix the Park Cyclone which looks distressingly like an abstract representation of Gonzo’s head. Apparently, I’m a big enough man not to be bothered by holding a tool by a Muppets schwantz-like nose, provided it does a good job cleaning my chain. The teeth on the chainrings are cleaned with stiff-bristled brush using the residual solvent left over from cleaning the chain, as are the pulleys in the derailleur.
As a final order of business, the handlebars are scrubbed of any residual dirt and the machine is set aside to dry and await its next ride.
The bike can be cleaned in the workshop or in the driveway, or in the back yard on a sunny day. If the bike is cleaned indoors, it is necessary to play a cycling video in the background. Maybe Stars and Water Carriers, the The Road to Roubaix, or A Sunday in Hell. When cleaning outdoors, it is good to be accompanied by a loyal mut. Whether indoors or out, however, it should always be done with both ample time and a pint at hand. This is a ritual which may not be rushed.
The first ride on a freshly cleaned machine is possibly my favorite. It is much better than the first ride on a new bike, as a new bike is yet unfamiliar beneath you. The freshly cleaned steed, on the other hand, runs flawlessly and we respond to each other like the familiar old friends that we are.
There is no day to ride quite like Clean Bike Day. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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@Nate
I just started over with Ultegra chain and cassette and Force cranks (CAAD10, so I stayed BB30). We'll see how far I get this time. I keep things fairly clean, but switched from ProLink to a homebrew of OMS and synthetic motor oil. Maybe on the next go 'round I'll switch back to ProLink or Dumonde and see what happens.
When I start thinking about how the various drivetrain components wear out at different rates and costs I find myself staring at a piece of lint and breathing through my mouth.
@Nate
Older Shimano cassettes (mine is 7spd 105 I believe) came with three bolts holding the larger cogs together. These were entirely unnecessary and could simply be removed, allowing all cogs and spacers to be taken apart for cleaning or assembling a custom cassette. I wish they were still made this way.
I don't know how you guys feel about Bicycling Magazine but their web site actually had a really good video of a BMC mechanic cleaning a team bike and discussing tips - the process and tools he used were very simple and easy to replicate. I learned more in the 2 minutes it took me to watch the video then I could ever have learned by trial and error.
http://bcove.me/vvds06dl
This is getting like an OCD self help group - 80+ postings in under 24 hours on cleaning things. Every time we mention cleaning stuff the same shit happens - and I now realise that I'm not alone in having the only organisation in my universe revolving round a clean bike and kit.
By the way did anyone see the state of Jensie's suitcase in that video of his hotel room - quote "chaos is good" - that's exactly like my suitcase when I go on a trip (like today). I actually have something in common with Jensie other than the arrangement of my chromosomes and opposable thumbs.
Let's hear the Tall Tales from the Velominati about how long their components lasted because they kept them clean. I am going on 8000 miles on a bro-set, but have recently put on the third chain in that period, replacing it before the 1.0 wear mark on the Park Tool. The clean drive train still shifts very smoothly, although I'm not sure I can tell the difference between "shark shaped worn teeth" and designed shifting ramps.
Another money making idea: someone make a wear indicator tool for cassettes and chainrings?
@the Engine
Suitcase = Chaos. Most definitely.
Bike bag = Chaos. Never.
@Nate
Indeed. Chains are cheaper than cassettes. Change the chain often enough and the cassettes stay happy longer. I missed my window this year and blew about a grand on chains and cassettes. Not a fun way to burn through cash.
@snoov
Indeed. I was seduced by the power cone of SRAM that I had just been discussing and forgot that Shimano comes apart, too. Don't use it frequently enough to remember how they're put together.
@frank
I never understood why people change out a whole cassette. In reality you spend most of your time in 2-3 "pet" gears, and those are the ones that wear. Just replace those. Way cheaper. I don't buy into the notion that your chain and cogs "wear together" anyway. I go thru about 3 chains for each time I replace shark finned cogs.
As always... Great read Frank!! Even though it doesn't really need it, I'm inspired to was bike #1 today before I head out to ride.
You guys getting 7500km out of chains... is that unique to Campy, are they particularly durable? I've been running KMC X10SL's forever and only get about 5000km at most before my park chain gauge says it needs replacing?