La Vie Velominatus: Rebirth

Spring blossoms in Seattle

Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter how emphatically I lose my temper with it, no matter the unprintable curses and insults I hurl in its direction, it just keeps on blowing like a big stupid blowing thing.

The weather systems that move in and out of the Puget Sound Convergence Zone are accompanied by a gale and, and as every Cyclist knows, gales blow exclusively against the direction of travel. With the changing seasons come the frequent storm systems and the unreliability of the meteorologists is amplified by the complexity of the weather patterns. Taking Bike Number One is a gamble during any of these times, but sometimes living dangerously feels better than it is sensible. Every now and then, taking #1 when you really shouldn’t can offer a bit of much-needed redemption.

Fall winds steel us for the arrival of colder, darker days. Winter around here comes with less wind, but with annoyances of its own. Our friends in more harsh climates than mine will agree: we have had a dark Winter here in the Northern Hemisphere. Seattle is a mild place to live, but even here the damp, cold, short days have taken their toll. The sun is down when I arrive at work, and it is down when I leave for home. With vitamin D in short supply, our moods sour, the chickens stop laying their eggs (there is no creature more entitled than a clucking chicken who refuses to lay an egg), and alcohol, food, and sloth start looking like viable plans of remediation.

But as Winter makes its slow exit, the winds begin to blow once again and Spring starts to dot hints that she is about to make her entrance. The redbud trees are in blossom, and the Earth is letting loose the green stalks of tulips and crocuses. The work we did over the winter was supposed to make us feel strong and fast; instead, trees bow to our arrival as the wind pushes against our face and robs us of the free flight that a Cyclist in form works so hard to achieve.

Nevertheless, this weekend I rode with bare legs, the strong headwind filling my senses with the fresh smell of damp, life-giving earth and budding blossoms. Rebirth is infectious and like the trees and plants around me, so too have I been reborn. 

Wind might well be an asshole, but when it signals warmer, brighter days it somehow seems more tolerable. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Marko

    That race in MS looks sweet. Very cool.

    I got outside yesterday and rode for the first time (other than rollers) since fall. I was slow and my legs had little power but I was elated in just being outside and riding my bike. I reveled in the smells, warm breeze, and sunshine. In many ways, the best ride of the year.

    Yes the best rides of the entire year are right up at the front. The windy ride that Frank hexed upon me Monday was also a day of timidly dealing with the saddle that "might-could-possibly be" all wrong. I brought the boiling point up to the final 1ok, the saddle had conceded an almost perfect position, and I think that I possibly held out on my fastest solo speed of the year for the last 3k. Only me and the bike know what had just happened. These special days aren't supposed to happen all the time.

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    @frank

    @RedRanger

    @RedRanger

    @frank

    @the Engine

    Okay - just about to press the button on this - opinions please on the Trek Crockett 5 Disc - the next n+1 fulfillment or poor idea leading to disappointment?

    Skit the discs and get the canti version.

    While I agree, you care to extrapolate on that?

    BTW, in the UK the Crocket 5 only comes in disc brakes. toy get canti, you need to spend an extra 350 pounds and get stuck with SRAM.

    Everyone I know who has gone disc has gone back to Canti. Especially in a sport with as much crashing and throwing about of the bike as CX has, those discs get bent way too easily and there is no straightening them back, so you wind up with rub and other annoying side effects.

    Nothing wrong with SRAM, you just have to use the right cables and learn how to adjust it. I like it only a little less than Record.

    Plus discs can just be a pain in the fucking ass that you just don't need unless you're on a mountain bike riding on actual mountains. I know it's possible to go for a long time with them working well, but then for reasons only they're aware of they get spongy and loud and hopelessly ineffective, and you have to bleed the sons of bitches and IMO that's a pain in the ass. I've been riding my mtb with suck-ass rear braking for the last two months just because I have better things to do with my time. Like ride my road bike. Or sit upside down underwater in my kayak. Or make my VMH nice dinners. Just about any damn thing.

    One question, though, from someone who's lived a sheltered life: why canti's and not V-brakes like the TRPs that Marko has on his sick new gravel rig?

    I mean brakes mounted on cantilever points on the frame, I'm not recommending canti's over V-Brakes or anything else.

    In fact, I use Mini-V's as well and have canti's on another bike; the difference being that the V-brakes stop the bike and the canti only stop the bike after it collides with a fixed object.

  • @PeakInTwoYears I hear you on that. My MTB makes a horrible sound in the rear. Cant figure it out. I just brake less. I'm all about simplicity on a road/CX bike, which is why I went with mini v's on the new one. I hated wanted Frank to explain it for Ivor.

  • @RedRanger

    @PeakInTwoYears I hear you on that. My MTB makes a horrible sound in the rear. Cant figure it out. I just brake less. I'm all about simplicity on a road/CX bike, which is why I went with mini V's on the new one. I just wanted Frank to explain it for Ivor.

    Fucking Swype keyboard!

  • @frank

    In fact, I use Mini-V's as well and have canti's on another bike; the difference being that The V-brakes stop the bike and the canti only stop the bike after it collides with a fixed object.

    Very well put. Why I asked.

  • @RedRanger

    @PeakInTwoYears I hear you on that. My MTB makes a horrible sound in the rear. Cant figure it out. I just brake less. I'm all about simplicity on a road/CX bike, which is why I went with mini V's on the new one. I hated wanted Frank to explain it for Ivor.

    My ass-end brake started squealing like a motherfucker and stopped stopping me. Because there was pad material left, I assumed I'd ridden through something that had contaminated the pads. I did the rubbing alcohol plus sandpaper plus rubbing alcohol and a clean rag on the pads and rotors routine. Fuck all difference. Replaced the pads. Fuck all difference. Then I recognized and accepted the squishy nature of the lever feel and therefore the need to bleed the line. But I haven't done it yet because I'm old and don't have much time left and therefore have other priorities.

  • @RedRanger

    @PeakInTwoYears I hear you on that. My MTB makes a horrible sound in the rear. Cant figure it out. I just brake less. I'm all about simplicity on a road/CX bike, which is why I went with mini V's on the new one. I hated wanted Frank to explain it for Ivor.

    Wait a minute. What the fuck do you do for a living? Hello? If you can't figure this one out, I'm taking the fucking train, amigo.

  • I chatted with a scientist who worked in Anartica. He said that despite that, the coldest he'd ever felt was on a beach in the NE of England with the wind ripping inshore having originated on Siberian tundra, and just for laughs picking up a wealth of freezing wetness on the last leg of its journey across the North Sea. And here too we count windless days as special. If there's a redemption for me it comes in tiny slices: you turn and for a few moments you gave the wind at your back; then wind speed and bike speed match and you get... silence. For few seconds, peace and tranquility. Them back to the howling as the wind switches, and your fighting again.

    wind rips onshore after having

  • As my friend Velomilurker David says, there's no such thing as a bad wind. You have either training wind or helpful wind. V and VV. =)

  • @frank

    @PeakInTwoYears

    @frank

    @RedRanger

    @RedRanger

    @frank

    @the Engine

    Okay - just about to press the button on this - opinions please on the Trek Crockett 5 Disc - the next n+1 fulfillment or poor idea leading to disappointment?

    Skit the discs and get the canti version.

    While I agree, you care to extrapolate on that?

    BTW, in the UK the Crocket 5 only comes in disc brakes. toy get canti, you need to spend an extra 350 pounds and get stuck with SRAM.

    Everyone I know who has gone disc has gone back to Canti. Especially in a sport with as much crashing and throwing about of the bike as CX has, those discs get bent way too easily and there is no straightening them back, so you wind up with rub and other annoying side effects.

    Nothing wrong with SRAM, you just have to use the right cables and learn how to adjust it. I like it only a little less than Record.

    Plus discs can just be a pain in the fucking ass that you just don't need unless you're on a mountain bike riding on actual mountains. I know it's possible to go for a long time with them working well, but then for reasons only they're aware of they get spongy and loud and hopelessly ineffective, and you have to bleed the sons of bitches and IMO that's a pain in the ass. I've been riding my mtb with suck-ass rear braking for the last two months just because I have better things to do with my time. Like ride my road bike. Or sit upside down underwater in my kayak. Or make my VMH nice dinners. Just about any damn thing.

    One question, though, from someone who's lived a sheltered life: why canti's and not V-brakes like the TRPs that Marko has on his sick new gravel rig?

    I mean brakes mounted on cantilever points on the frame, I'm not recommending canti's over V-Brakes or anything else.

    In fact, I use Mini-V's as well and have canti's on another bike; the difference being that The V-brakes stop the bike and the canti only stop the bike after it collides with a fixed object.

    And in breaking news an @theEngine simple question preceding a gentle telephone call to the LBS now gives me more choices than a sushi bar run by chefs with ADHD.

    The discs on the Crockett are cable operated so no hydraulics to bleed. System looks similar to my Trek MTB which has admittedly suffered from bent discs and fade and is beyond my simple mechanical abilities to fix in the field other than finding that if you turn the pads through 90 degrees they sometimes start working again.

    The canti version of the Crockett is more expensive and I am Scottish (and married to @MrsEngine) so this is a major consideration. It will also do service as a winter/rain road bike round these parts and the disc option may be the way to go for that given the speed that I've worn rims and pads through this year on the present #2 bike (rear wheel disintegrated on Sunday).

    As an observation I'm shit on an MTB so my default brake position is death grip snatch which may explain some disc issues.

    Did hill reps (ok one) this morning to see if that would help clear my mind on this - didn't.

    Also did I mention that the LBS can't stock Bonts for the time being because they have a local exclusive deal with a shop I don't like...

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