La Vie Velominatus: Rebirth

Spring blossoms in Seattle

Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter how emphatically I lose my temper with it, no matter the unprintable curses and insults I hurl in its direction, it just keeps on blowing like a big stupid blowing thing.

The weather systems that move in and out of the Puget Sound Convergence Zone are accompanied by a gale and, and as every Cyclist knows, gales blow exclusively against the direction of travel. With the changing seasons come the frequent storm systems and the unreliability of the meteorologists is amplified by the complexity of the weather patterns. Taking Bike Number One is a gamble during any of these times, but sometimes living dangerously feels better than it is sensible. Every now and then, taking #1 when you really shouldn’t can offer a bit of much-needed redemption.

Fall winds steel us for the arrival of colder, darker days. Winter around here comes with less wind, but with annoyances of its own. Our friends in more harsh climates than mine will agree: we have had a dark Winter here in the Northern Hemisphere. Seattle is a mild place to live, but even here the damp, cold, short days have taken their toll. The sun is down when I arrive at work, and it is down when I leave for home. With vitamin D in short supply, our moods sour, the chickens stop laying their eggs (there is no creature more entitled than a clucking chicken who refuses to lay an egg), and alcohol, food, and sloth start looking like viable plans of remediation.

But as Winter makes its slow exit, the winds begin to blow once again and Spring starts to dot hints that she is about to make her entrance. The redbud trees are in blossom, and the Earth is letting loose the green stalks of tulips and crocuses. The work we did over the winter was supposed to make us feel strong and fast; instead, trees bow to our arrival as the wind pushes against our face and robs us of the free flight that a Cyclist in form works so hard to achieve.

Nevertheless, this weekend I rode with bare legs, the strong headwind filling my senses with the fresh smell of damp, life-giving earth and budding blossoms. Rebirth is infectious and like the trees and plants around me, so too have I been reborn. 

Wind might well be an asshole, but when it signals warmer, brighter days it somehow seems more tolerable. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @frank

    Frank, nice to make your acquaintance. Perhaps not quite so bad as London in winter where I lived for a while and it would start to get dark at 2.30pm. You'd come home, go for a run, come back, eat, think about bed, look at the clock and its 7.30. 

    So it appears even a tailwind can suck? There goes one of the few assists I look forward to, along with rests (sorry, stops) for flats, coffee, and roads leading vaguely downwards.

    We have nothing to complain about winter-wise compared to our northern brothers, tho the Dutch wind experience reminds me Melbourne planners in their wisdom designed city canyons the wind can howl down.

  • Had my first outdoor ride today.  I thought about the route for a bit--off to the hills or stay on the flats?  Against my better judgement I went for the hills.  Felt terrific on the way east.  Thought to myself that the hard work this winter on the trainer is really paying off.

    Then I turned Left and headed up Seven Hills Road.  Let me tell you, there's a lot more than just seven fucking hills. That plus a decent breeze had me dogging it for the latter half of the ride.  Still was happy as a clam when I pulled into the driveway.  Nothing like a baptism by fire to get the riding season started.

  • This past weekend here in the deep south meant Rouge Roubaix XVI with 100+ miles of racing on roads in various stages of destruction plus plenty of gravel thru parishes in Louisiana and in to Mississippi and back. Maybe as close to a spring classic in North America as any other race... I don't know... except the weather which was perfect. The only thing that wasn't perfect was getting dropped at 65ish miles but minor detail...The rest was perfect. Cheers from the deep south, RC

  • Ha ha, coming into the cooler months here, after our very hot summer, and not only will the temperature be awesome, there is typically little wind on most of my rides.  On some stretches of a particularly fun motorway, the trip south is sheltered by roadside foliage, and the return trip north is exposed a bit to the southerly tailwinds typical of autumn and winter.  Tends to rain a bit, but refreshing showers, not Rule #9 conditions.

    It's a great life. Slumming it at Jackson Hole at present, bit slushy for nice riding here in the spring thaw.  Good ski-ing today though.

  • I too rode with bare legs and arms today and it was glorious. You are correct, Wind IS and asshole, but you just must make the wind your Bitch, and lay down the V.

  • @frank

    @Nate

    @frank

    WTF I thought Dutch cyclists love the wind. Or at least hate it less than the rest of us.

    Being good at it and loving it are two different things.

    I should think a lawyer would understand such nuances.

    I really want to salt you for not having a more clever rejoinder.  Hello?  Lawyer jokes have been old since Shakespeare's time.  Unfortunately I understand your point not only because I am trained to do so but also as I am am good at it but often don't love it.

  • @Optimiste

    @Optimiste

    Quite timely for sure. 50km commute this morning into a fierce headwind. But it was blowing from the South, so temps were mild. This was the first day of the new year I felt overdressed. With a tailwind home, I don't even mind the prediction of rain. Tomorrow, we should get 2 inches of snow. That's Spring weather in Utah. Woohoo!

    Note to self: Reconsider commuting with teammate nicknamed "Soul Crusher".

    AM ride into the wind: Max heart rate for my age - 175. Actual max heart rate - 179.

    PM ride with tailwind: Had to use top gear (53×12) to keep up while drafting. Took pulls to recover.

    P.S. Okay, we'll do it again Thursday.

    Top marks. Especially about taking pulls to recover. Strong work, we await your reports on progress.

    @Brianold55

    So it appears even a tailwind can suck? There goes one of the few assists I look forward to, along with rests (sorry, stops) for flats, coffee, and roads leading vaguely downwards.

    Anything can suck. A tailwind feels good but the point was if you have to ride back into it to get home, the benefits don't outweigh the gains.

    Although on the PDX Cogal many moons ago, we had the fortune of riding into the wind on the way out and spinning out our top gears on the way back at the end of that crippling ride. It was beyond glorious in that particular context. (The road was along the Hood River - one of the windiest places on Earth, I would think.)

  • @The Oracle

    However hard you ride the trainer, if you're not also hitting the roads there is no comparison. Welcome back!

    @wilburrox

    This past weekend here in the deep south meant Rouge Roubaix XVI with 100+ miles of racing on roads in various stages of destruction plus plenty of gravel thru parishes in Louisiana and in to Mississippi and back. Maybe as close to a spring classic in North America as any other race... I don't know... except the weather which was perfect. The only thing that wasn't perfect was getting dropped at 65ish miles but minor detail...The rest was perfect. Cheers from the deep south, RC

    I have a niece in New Orleans. We might just have to visit her for that event next year. Awesomeness!

  • @Ken Ho

    Ha ha, coming into the cooler months here, after our very hot summer, and not only will the temperature be awesome, there is typically little wind on most of my rides. On some stretches of a particularly fun motorway, the trip south is sheltered by roadside foliage, and the return trip north is exposed a bit to the southerly tailwinds typical of autumn and winter. Tends to rain a bit, but refreshing showers, not Rule #9 conditions.

    Ok, we get it, you fucking asshole. 'Straya is fucking heaven. But even paradise means you still have to share a continent with @Marcus and @Minion. So we still win.

    It's a great life. Slumming it at Jackson Hole at present, bit slushy for nice riding here in the spring thaw. Good ski-ing today though.

    You just missed the good snow; we had a shit winter, really, but then crushed the second half of Feb. It was glorious.

    The VMH and I timed it perfectly to Whistler, where nailing the weather means the difference between the trip of a lifetime and skiing in rain from top to bottom.

  • @Nate

    Lawyer jokes are only "old" to lawyers. Everyone else still thinks they're hilarious.

    We'll call it a draw because at least you had the sense to post one of my favorite videos of all time.

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