La Vie Velominatus: Rebirth

Spring blossoms in Seattle

Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter how emphatically I lose my temper with it, no matter the unprintable curses and insults I hurl in its direction, it just keeps on blowing like a big stupid blowing thing.

The weather systems that move in and out of the Puget Sound Convergence Zone are accompanied by a gale and, and as every Cyclist knows, gales blow exclusively against the direction of travel. With the changing seasons come the frequent storm systems and the unreliability of the meteorologists is amplified by the complexity of the weather patterns. Taking Bike Number One is a gamble during any of these times, but sometimes living dangerously feels better than it is sensible. Every now and then, taking #1 when you really shouldn’t can offer a bit of much-needed redemption.

Fall winds steel us for the arrival of colder, darker days. Winter around here comes with less wind, but with annoyances of its own. Our friends in more harsh climates than mine will agree: we have had a dark Winter here in the Northern Hemisphere. Seattle is a mild place to live, but even here the damp, cold, short days have taken their toll. The sun is down when I arrive at work, and it is down when I leave for home. With vitamin D in short supply, our moods sour, the chickens stop laying their eggs (there is no creature more entitled than a clucking chicken who refuses to lay an egg), and alcohol, food, and sloth start looking like viable plans of remediation.

But as Winter makes its slow exit, the winds begin to blow once again and Spring starts to dot hints that she is about to make her entrance. The redbud trees are in blossom, and the Earth is letting loose the green stalks of tulips and crocuses. The work we did over the winter was supposed to make us feel strong and fast; instead, trees bow to our arrival as the wind pushes against our face and robs us of the free flight that a Cyclist in form works so hard to achieve.

Nevertheless, this weekend I rode with bare legs, the strong headwind filling my senses with the fresh smell of damp, life-giving earth and budding blossoms. Rebirth is infectious and like the trees and plants around me, so too have I been reborn. 

Wind might well be an asshole, but when it signals warmer, brighter days it somehow seems more tolerable. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @frank

    @Nate

    Lawyer jokes are only "old" to lawyers. Everyone else still thinks they're hilarious.

    We'll call it a draw because at least you had the sense to post one of my favorite videos of all time.

    Wait until IT professional jokes are the "it" thing.  Any day now.

  • @frank

    Anything can suck. A tailwind feels good but the point was if you have to ride back into it to get home, the benefits don't outweigh the gains.

    True, but if there was any justice in the universe the cycling fairy would decree that a headwind on the way out should theoretically/mathematically/whatever translate into a tailwind on the way back. 'cept it often doesnt seem to work out that way.

  • @Nate

    @frank

    @Nate

    Lawyer jokes are only "old" to lawyers. Everyone else still thinks they're hilarious.

    We'll call it a draw because at least you had the sense to post one of my favorite videos of all time.

    Wait until IT professional jokes are the "it" thing. Any day now.

    Yeah, as if sending American technology jobs offshore for pennies on the dollar is anywhere near as bad as what you lawyer folk do.

  • @brianold55

    @frank

    Anything can suck. A tailwind feels good but the point was if you have to ride back into it to get home, the benefits don't outweigh the gains.

    True, but if there was any justice in the universe the cycling fairy would decree that a headwind on the way out should theoretically/mathematically/whatever translate into a tailwind on the way back. 'cept it often doesnt seem to work out that way.

    I hate to be the one to tell you this, mate, but life isn't fair. Also, there is no such thing as fairies, so life also isn't fairy.

    This is why Merckx handed down Rule #5.

  • @frank

    @Nate

    @frank

    @Nate

    Lawyer jokes are only "old" to lawyers. Everyone else still thinks they're hilarious.

    We'll call it a draw because at least you had the sense to post one of my favorite videos of all time.

    Wait until IT professional jokes are the "it" thing. Any day now.

    Yeah, as if sending American technology jobs offshore for pennies on the dollar is anywhere near as bad as what you lawyer folk do.

    Ah yes, "outsourcing" is a bad word.  What's the new MBA euphemism? Rightshoring?

  • @frank  True again sir. With age and struggle comes understanding of this. Doesn't mean we can't laugh about it. Rule #5 saves us. Fairy nuff?

  • @Nate

    @frank

    @Nate

    @frank

    @Nate

    Lawyer jokes are only "old" to lawyers. Everyone else still thinks they're hilarious.

    We'll call it a draw because at least you had the sense to post one of my favorite videos of all time.

    Wait until IT professional jokes are the "it" thing. Any day now.

    Yeah, as if sending American technology jobs offshore for pennies on the dollar is anywhere near as bad as what you lawyer folk do.

    Ah yes, "outsourcing" is a bad word. What's the new MBA euphemism? Rightshoring?

    Oh, there are tons and you are too close already, assuming you're making that word up to be a dick, which I applaud.

    Gobal delivery, global-sourcing,  co-sourcing, co-sizing, right-sourcing, right-shoring, right-sizing, near-shoring, near-sizing, cost optimization, workforce rationalization...we make up all sorts of things that are too complicated to spin a clever joke around, for instance:

    How do you know when it's really cold outside?

    - The lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.

    Removing American jobs and crippling our own future innovation just doesn't boil down to such a concisely funny joke like being a money grubbing ambulance-chaser does.

  • @frank no doubt, And unfortunately I did not make up that word but have alas encountered it professionally. When you hear neologisms like that they come from the same MBA types who give us drivel like "thought leader."   Lawyers prefer old Latin words no one knows the meaning to anymore.

  • @frank as a middle aged full time student I somehow manage devote 2 hrs a day for my self taught no credit cycling classes. I am either a shitty student or a bad teacher, not sure on that one yet.

  • Possibly the most inspiring and well penned article you've ever written, Frank.  I felt a hint of rebirth myself just yesterday as I wiped the dead worms from my rear brake and downtube, wearing a grin on my face in the warm sun. 'What wind? What wet roads?'

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