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La Vie Velominatus: The Toolkit

Minimalist toolkit: lightweight and compact, it fits into the center pocket.

Even as a Pre-Cambrian Velominatus, the rusty wires in my brain must have made the connection between my machine’s aesthetics and the lack of a saddle bag; I can’t remember a time when I rode with a European Posterior Man Satchel. But riding without a saddle bag means the tools go in the pocket, and that means great care must be take in their selection; it has taken the better part of 30 years for my toolkit to evolve to the point where it is today: a minimalist set of highly reliable tools, each carefully selected for its function, form, and weight.

In addition to the endless cycle of tools that have come in and out of the kit, their locations have changed over the years. I’ve spread them across all three pockets, careful to distribute the weight evenly. I’ve put the heaviest items in the center pocket and kept the lighter ones in the side pockets. I’ve put all the weight in the side pockets and kept the center pocket free for stuffing with other items. I’ve ridden with minipump, with CO2, with minipump and C02. I’ve strapped the pump to my seatpost (we can’t all be genius all the time). I’ve carried two multi-tools, I’ve carried loose allen keys. I’ve carried chain tools. I’ve carried multi-tools with integrated chain tools. Suffice to say, nearly every conceivable permutation has been tried.

Before I go on, I want to make a point very clear: here we are wandering deep into Velominatus territory. Every item has been selected for a function, but that function is presupposed by the notion that our bicycles are meticulously cared for and we do not expect to make major roadside repairs. Punctures, silencing a creak or rattle, making a minor shifting adjustment, straightening a handlebar, or tweaking a saddle are the types of repairs within the scope of what may be expected mid-ride. Broken chains, snapped cables, broken spokes, handlebars, or saddles are failures that are to be preempted before departure and if they happen during a ride, one is expected to limp home or find alternative means of transportation. If going on a longer ride with no bail-out, one is to adjust their kit accordingly to account for self-reliance.

I also realize that I’ve now jinxed myself for tomorrow’s Cogal. (But I said it ironically, so I think I’m safe.)

The following considerations factor into my kit selection (in no particular order):

I used to carry two (or more) spare tubes, several Co2 canisters, and a mini pump. I’m not sure exactly how many punctures I was expecting to have during my rides, but I am sure I was prepared for them. That fact that I rarely flat never figured heavily in my planning.
Patch kits have gone from being big clunky things complete with a tube of glue that smelled alarmingly good when opened, to small things you’re more likely to lose than to notice you’re carrying it.
Minipumps have become very small and very light, while still providing enough pressure to get you home.
C02 chucks have gotten small and light, and are reasonably inexpensive.
C02 canisters are similarly inexpensive, and based on how frequently I use them, do not seem an unreasonable investment.
Loose allen keys are ungainly and can be lost; a screwdriver even more so.
Most of the critical bolts on a bicycle take either a 4mm or 5mm allen key; a screwdriver head is similarly critical as sometimes a derailleur stop needs to be changed. 3mm or 6mm keys are rarely required.
Tools are heavy, and the aggregate weight of the toolkit can be significant. Take care to find lightweight, compact tools (that still function well) and you can dramatically reduce the weight you carry with you.
Latex tubes are significantly lighter and more compact that standard tubes.
iPhones are wicked rad, but Steve Jobs was clearly not a cyclist. Those things weigh like tanks.

Nirvana is a state we cannot hope to reach, though La Vie Velominatus may carry us to its outer boundaries. That is where I feel I am today when it comes to my tool kit, the contents of which are the Lezyne V5 Multitool, Lezyne Trigger Drive, Lezyne Smark Kit, two Lezyne Alloy Levers, two 12g Co2 cartridges, my phone, cash, ID, and inhaler (like most Pros, I’m asthmatic). I organize my kit into separate small plastic bags, but do not store the lot in a Rule #31 Sack, like many of my esteemed peers. Instead, I opt to keep things stored separately in my center jersey pocket, such that I am able to pull items such as my phone or multitool out of my pocket (while riding) without needing to remove everything else with it.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Oli says:

Feb 4 2012 at 3:42 am

@mouse
Yes, I have seen them Mouse, although in books more than on bikes. There were also ones that were just wire where the ones you saw had the little chains. By the time I got into cycling (late '70s) they weren't really in common use any more...
Oli says:

Feb 4 2012 at 3:45 am

@frank
I say again, how do you deal with the remnants of the failed link without a chain tool? Seems to me the link is just to save the time/reduce potential error factor of rejoining the chain on the side of the road, but you'll still need a chain tool too.
snoov says:

Feb 4 2012 at 4:01 am

@Oli
That's what I've been thinking (post #19). I wish I'd taken a photo of my chain but from memory I'd lost one outer plate and one pin by the time I'd stopped. The other outer plate was bent but I suppose I could have just pulled it out and fitted a powerlink (I had a Sram one with me but couldn't get it to fit the Ultegra chain when first fitting the chain a few weeks ago which is why the chain failed as I had to refit a link).

If both outer sides of the link were still attached maybe it would be possible just to prise them apart till one side comes off, then fit the powerlink?
Calmante says:

Feb 4 2012 at 4:01 am

That seems like a fantastic idea. I wonder why they fell out of favor.
Skip says:

Feb 4 2012 at 4:26 am

@itburns
I never thought a CO2 cartridge was especally Pro. I just use them because they're a hell of a lot faster than mini-pumps. But I did learn my lesson about what happens if you screw up the attachment and lose all the CO2. So now I carry a CO2 for speed and a minipump as backup.
McTyke says:

Feb 4 2012 at 6:23 am

@Oli

@frankI say again, how do you deal with the remnants of the failed link without a chain tool? Seems to me the link is just to save the time/reduce potential error factor of rejoining the chain on the side of the road, but you'll still need a chain tool too.

I'm with Oli on this one. Carrying a powerlink is surely useless if you don't have a chain breaker tool to remove the pins at the point of breakage to create two open ends. My multitool has a chain breaker I've never used, although it did come to the aid of a stranded rider I met out on my bike one day. In my experience, all chains can be rejoined with a bit of care - even ultra narrow Campag - without the need for a new link. I routinely trickle down my part-worn chains from road bikes to commuter bike and rejoin them successfully without using the overpriced chainlink kit.

At risk of inviting future disaster, I can say that I hardly ever suffer punctures. Once every 3 years would be about average. Then again, I don't ride in the gutter, I check the pressures before each ride, replace tyres before the tread is completely worn, and don't sit on the bike like a sack of potatoes when going over bumps or potholes :)

This reminds me of the last time I had a flat. It was during a cycling holiday in the Alps. My friends and I had ridden up the Col de la Colombiere and had lunched at the restaurant at the top. Didn't check the bike over before starting the descent (mistake number one!) and within a few hundred meters realised that my rear tyre was almost flat. Pulled into the verge as my pals disappeared down the valley and set about changing the tube. In my haste not to lose too much time (second mistake!) I rushed putting the spare tube in and nipped it between rim and lever while struggling to get the last bit of tyre over the rim. Damn! Back in with the old tube, hoping the puncture was a slow one. So, wheel back in place, tyre pumped up as hard as possible, tools back in the EPMS (sorry!) and off we go. All seemed well until I glanced down to check my speed and, WTF, no bike computer - just an empty bracket smiling back at me. I'd taken the thing off and laid it on the ground before turning the bike upside down on the verge, way back up the mountain, and forgotten to pick it up. With tears in my eyes I turned around and rode back up - without doubt the most expletive-filled kilometer I've ever ridden! Everything turned out okay in the end - I found the computer, made it down the long descent in one piece, and rejoined the group in the valley where we fixed the flat properly (caused by a tiny sliver of metal).

Lessons to be learned from this:
1. Always check the bike over (tyres, brakes, nothing loose) before starting a major descent.
2. If mechanical troubles do strike, stay calm and don't rush the repair!
frank says:

Feb 4 2012 at 6:42 am

@chubster

hate having bunch-o-stuff bouncing around in the pockets. how are you going to really get up and go? (a) i can get crank bros mini (dislike cartridges - only good for 1 shot, can't test, can't help others), 2 tubes, levers and couple of allen keys into small seat bag. (b) for the pockets. u can get a little plastic box for q-tips and use to carry cash and cc. i liked so much, i stopped using a regular billfold. old style phones are way tougher - LG/Samsung clamshells, not Moto. super critical the thing works even after you land on it.

If your jersey fits, you should have no problems with your tools bouncing around. Or, add a cycling cap to the pocket and you'll firm everything up. On the other hand, if your jersey doubles as a nightgown, that could be an issue for you.

Also, Anquetil and I like to keep our bikes light. He moved his bidon from its cage to his jersey at the bottom of every col. Psychological? Perhaps. Did it win him 5 tours? Absolutely.
frank says:

Feb 4 2012 at 6:46 am

@Ron

Frank - regarding the latex tube being too light for daily use, do you ride butyl tubes but carry the latex in your pocket for its light weight? I know the thinking goes that if you are riding tougher tires, say Continental GP4000s, latex tubes aren't going to do a whole lot for ride quality. But, on a nicer tire like a Vittoria Corsa or Veloflex Master, a latex tube will offer a nicer ride.

No, I ride Vittoria latex; the Michellin is a beautiful, thin, light tire but its so thin and beautiful and light that it tears easily at the valve stem. So I use it as a spare in my kit because all it has to do is get me home.
frank says:

Feb 4 2012 at 6:50 am

@Oli

@frank
I say again, how do you deal with the remnants of the failed link without a chain tool? Seems to me the link is just to save the time/reduce potential error factor of rejoining the chain on the side of the road, but you'll still need a chain tool too.

That's a good point, and I'm not sure. In 30 years I've never broken a chain riding, apart from when I improperly broke and re-attached my VMH's chain. So I'm happily ignorant on the issue.

But I'll roll back to the fundamental principle of my tool kit selection: take care of your shit and you won't have these kinds of problems.
frank says:

Feb 4 2012 at 6:55 am

@motor city

For me its a spare tube gaffer taped up in a sandwich bag with an orange pedro's tyre lever and an allen key that came with flat pack from ikea. The allen key only fits stem and seat clamp, but thats all i seem to need to adjust anyway when out. Separate from that is a lezyne mini pump, ten quid and my small basic sony phone. I have to really really need to split that tenner to warrant jangling around with change. I'd like to see a tube laid out to the size of A5 and vacuum packed flat, there would be a market for that to slip into a jersey pocket...

Either the Michellin or the Vredenstein come packed this way. Rad.

@Oli

@Ron
One point people seem to forget is that if a link has broken you still need to be able to remove the broken parts of the chain before you can fit a master link. If you carry a link you must carry a chain tool as well.

Oh, see this now. I think you're right on this.