La Vie Velominatus: The Toolkit
Even as a Pre-Cambrian Velominatus, the rusty wires in my brain must have made the connection between my machine’s aesthetics and the lack of a saddle bag; I can’t remember a time when I rode with a European Posterior Man Satchel. But riding without a saddle bag means the tools go in the pocket, and that means great care must be take in their selection; it has taken the better part of 30 years for my toolkit to evolve to the point where it is today: a minimalist set of highly reliable tools, each carefully selected for its function, form, and weight.
In addition to the endless cycle of tools that have come in and out of the kit, their locations have changed over the years. I’ve spread them across all three pockets, careful to distribute the weight evenly. I’ve put the heaviest items in the center pocket and kept the lighter ones in the side pockets. I’ve put all the weight in the side pockets and kept the center pocket free for stuffing with other items. I’ve ridden with minipump, with CO2, with minipump and C02. I’ve strapped the pump to my seatpost (we can’t all be genius all the time). I’ve carried two multi-tools, I’ve carried loose allen keys. I’ve carried chain tools. I’ve carried multi-tools with integrated chain tools. Suffice to say, nearly every conceivable permutation has been tried.
Before I go on, I want to make a point very clear: here we are wandering deep into Velominatus territory. Every item has been selected for a function, but that function is presupposed by the notion that our bicycles are meticulously cared for and we do not expect to make major roadside repairs. Punctures, silencing a creak or rattle, making a minor shifting adjustment, straightening a handlebar, or tweaking a saddle are the types of repairs within the scope of what may be expected mid-ride. Broken chains, snapped cables, broken spokes, handlebars, or saddles are failures that are to be preempted before departure and if they happen during a ride, one is expected to limp home or find alternative means of transportation. If going on a longer ride with no bail-out, one is to adjust their kit accordingly to account for self-reliance.
I also realize that I’ve now jinxed myself for tomorrow’s Cogal. (But I said it ironically, so I think I’m safe.)
The following considerations factor into my kit selection (in no particular order):
- I used to carry two (or more) spare tubes, several Co2 canisters, and a mini pump. I’m not sure exactly how many punctures I was expecting to have during my rides, but I am sure I was prepared for them. That fact that I rarely flat never figured heavily in my planning.
- Patch kits have gone from being big clunky things complete with a tube of glue that smelled alarmingly good when opened, to small things you’re more likely to lose than to notice you’re carrying it.
- Minipumps have become very small and very light, while still providing enough pressure to get you home.
- C02 chucks have gotten small and light, and are reasonably inexpensive.
- C02 canisters are similarly inexpensive, and based on how frequently I use them, do not seem an unreasonable investment.
- Loose allen keys are ungainly and can be lost; a screwdriver even more so.
- Most of the critical bolts on a bicycle take either a 4mm or 5mm allen key; a screwdriver head is similarly critical as sometimes a derailleur stop needs to be changed. 3mm or 6mm keys are rarely required.
- Tools are heavy, and the aggregate weight of the toolkit can be significant. Take care to find lightweight, compact tools (that still function well) and you can dramatically reduce the weight you carry with you.
- Latex tubes are significantly lighter and more compact that standard tubes.
- iPhones are wicked rad, but Steve Jobs was clearly not a cyclist. Those things weigh like tanks.
Nirvana is a state we cannot hope to reach, though La Vie Velominatus may carry us to its outer boundaries. That is where I feel I am today when it comes to my tool kit, the contents of which are the Lezyne V5 Multitool, Lezyne Trigger Drive, Lezyne Smark Kit, two Lezyne Alloy Levers, two 12g Co2 cartridges, my phone, cash, ID, and inhaler (like most Pros, I’m asthmatic). I organize my kit into separate small plastic bags, but do not store the lot in a Rule #31 Sack, like many of my esteemed peers. Instead, I opt to keep things stored separately in my center jersey pocket, such that I am able to pull items such as my phone or multitool out of my pocket (while riding) without needing to remove everything else with it.
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I just carry spare sunglasses, a comb, and hair gel so that I can look properly sleek at all times, in all conditions. Doesn’t matter if your tires are flat as long as your hair is…perfect. Dip!
Random thoughts:
At first glance, I mistook the trigger drive for a certain type of recreational pharmaceutical paraphernalia, and I was all, “no wonder Frank gets so inspired when he rides!”
Anyway, I’m tempted to post a link to this post over at RBR, ’cause I love seeing those guys go bananas fighting over the toolkit/EPMS issue.
And on a semi-pedantic note, I think you mean “permutation” rather than “permeation” in the second paragraph.
Frank out on his regular friday training ride, earlier…
pic
Two things I never, never ride without: helmet and phone. I need them both for the same reason. Safety.
NB: always carry the phone in a ziplock baggie to keep it dry.
I go exclusively with CO2: 2 cannisters and 2 tubes. I have had 4 punctures on one (imperial) century. Bummed spares from my VMH.
I predict this article will garner over 200 comments.
Lezyne does make amazingly light, sexy, and super well made stuff. I tempt fate almost every ride, bringing only a mini pump, and spare tube, and my phone to call for a pick up if i’m waaaaaaay out there. I also carry cash, because you never know when ice cream will be available.
@silkrider
Fuck yeah!
Yesterday’s chain break was ultimately caused by me and not just the watts I was putting into the climb, but at nearly 20k from home I was very glad to have my V10 multitool with chain breaker.
@ZachOlson
Haven’t seen the likes of you in a while. Welcome back. I’ve been thinking about you in relation to the potential of a MN Cogal.
Those Lezyne tire levers are almost as cool as the Nederaap CX-V. I’ve gotta get me some.
I do use a Rule #31 sacktchel and love it although it loses supplicity in colder temps. The Lezyne minipumps are par excellence as well.
Which leads me to agree with eightzero – this thread will grow and mostly around the great C02 vs. minipump saga. I’m now in the minipump camp after spending years with C02.
I see 20 dollars in your tool kit, that is about 15 euros and that is 5 pints of Ename on the Grand Market in Oudenaarde!
Kit complete. Schol!
@Marko I’ve been lurkin’. I’d love to do an MN Cogal. At the ARROWHEAD 135! Five and Dime, motherfuckers.
Dammit you guys, now I’m all paranoid. I carry a tube or two, levers, CO2+chuck, patch kit, and some pieces of duct dape folded on itself to act as a boot if needed.
But I don’t carry extra pins or a chain break tool. Guess I’m off to the LBS during lunch to see what I can find…
Woah, Frank…another tool upgrade? First it was the Shimano block, then the Rap6, now the V5. Hmm, I wonder if you felt you didn’t need the Torx head OR if you liked the fact that the name is doubly more awesome than the 6.
What are the feelings on glueless patches? Something to limp home in an emergency & then pull off for a glued patch? Or, do the nice ones, like Lezyne actually stick? I have a nice little glueless kit but haven’t used it. Have read lots of negative opinions on the glueless patches. And I’ve also read about using bits of old latex tubes as patches on other latex tubes. Hmm, wonder about that as well. Better than a patch?
Phones. Ha, it cracks me up how the funniest joke in the world all of five years ago was the Small Phone gag. Now everyone carries a brick. No thanks. I carry a teeny, tiny Nokia that is basic & awesome. No, I can’t make a movie, overhaul my bank account or even take a photo with it. But, I can call the broom wagon piloted by the VMH:)
Oh, and I also carry my whole wallet on each ride. But, it’s not a fat Costanza-esque thing, just a very slim Velcro wallet I’ve had since I was a teenager. It’s awesome. A few id cards, a few credit cards, a bit of cash, probably 15mm thick. Never know when you’ll want to check a book out from the library on the way home!
snoov – read about your chain break and didn’t reply. I know everyone has an opinion on this, but a little trick I use is to carry a master link/power link/power lock that fits that chain (I use the same chains on my two main road bikes), taped to the inside of my tire lever. If I break a chain I’ll just install the master link and limp home. Haven’t had to do it, thankfully. Sorry to read about your mishap. This obviates the need for a chain tool or the insanity of trying to rejoin a chain roadside, with sweat or rain or snow in your eyes.
@ZachOlson
Did you do the Arrowhead 135? Cool race. I sent in a card for the Almanzo 100 and will enter the drawing for the Heck of the North. A MN gravel cogal would rule.
I like having a phone that can snap a picture not only for the awesome pictures of rides, but because I have used it to snap the picture of the license plate (complete with GPS coordinates) of some sack of shit that assulted me. Got his pic too, and called 911. No, nothing ever came of it. I was told they’d “make a note of it” if he got pulled over. I told them I suspect he was drunk, and road raging. Specifically said “I don;t know if he has a gun. He might.” Because it was true.
I also had an interesting thought about other shitte I carry on the ride. My fucking bike is loaded with fucking radios. An iPhone with bluetooth and GPS. A Garmin with not only a GPS receiver, but ANT+ sport. A cadence/speed sensor. A HR monitor. (No power meters. Yet. But only because Garmin/ Mertigear fucked it up.) And yes, I admit the rule breakage with an occasional use of BT headphones. So much for the simplicity of the bike.
nice….
Now I have to go to my LBS, who carries the goods and pick up the contraband V5
thanks for that
I pretty much have mine honed down to that list also, although mine are Park levers.
@eightzero
Geez. It’s a wonder planes don’t fall out of the sky when you ride by.
@Marko, I didn’t do the race, but I’m planning on it for next year. Not sure if I’ll ski it or bike it, though. Depends on if I can afford a fat bike. Or I might just enter the bike division with my cross bike and run it the whole way. Some serious V.
I always carry a master link in my stuff after breaking a frame(!) this past summer which resulted in a broken chain, bent crank and chainring. If hadn’t been for friend carrying masterlink woulda been a 10+ mile walk with some hilly terrain way out in bfe. weigh nothing, save everything and easy to use.
@Ron
I carry a 9 speed and a 10 speed powerlink in case I or someone else on the road requires one. My question is, without a chain breaker how would it be possible to fit one?
@frank
So, how do I fpgt the VVallpaper installed in my iPad?
Help!!!!!
hate having bunch-o-stuff bouncing around in the pockets. how are you going to really get up and go? (a) i can get crank bros mini (dislike cartridges – only good for 1 shot, can’t test, can’t help others), 2 tubes, levers and couple of allen keys into small seat bag. (b) for the pockets. u can get a little plastic box for q-tips and use to carry cash and cc. i liked so much, i stopped using a regular billfold. old style phones are way tougher – LG/Samsung clamshells, not Moto. super critical the thing works even after you land on it.
Hmmm. Interesting tools there Frank. Those tyre levers are damn sexy – going to have to pull a Lykki Li and Get Some! I use a titanium money clip on a daily basis (normal use and cycling) with license, debit card, credit card, and bills. When biking, I add my insurance card to the fold. iPhone goes in the microfiber sunglass drawstring bag to prevent scratching and the phone and moneyclip go into a Ziploc for moisture protection. My Maxxis Re-Fuse tires have never flatted, but that latex tube will also be an upcoming addition – or maybe just the patch kit. I currently use canisters, but I recently saw the Lezyne mini-pump in the flesh for the first time @ REI and I nearly ran off with it. I currently don’t bother with tools except a Phillips head for FD derailleur adjustment – I swear FD’s are the Lucifer’s spawn.
I’m much the same:
Inner tube, tyre levers, chain link, Lezyne glueless patches and Lezyne CRV-12.
With regard to glueless patches – they are now good enough to leave on permanently but I still pull them off and replace with glued patches when I get home.
eightzero – Ah, sorry to hear about your crazy driver encounter. If it makes you feel any better I had a positive result last week, score one for the cyclists! Had someone nearly hit me twice in a few minutes (dangerous pass, caught in traffic, dangerous pass) all on her way to Hardees! I was in a heavy policed area & ran into one a few minutes later. He took down a full report, put her plate # and the encounter in the system so now she’ll be on record. They didn’t go nab her, but I thought that was at least a success.
Frank – regarding the latex tube being too light for daily use, do you ride butyl tubes but carry the latex in your pocket for its light weight? I know the thinking goes that if you are riding tougher tires, say Continental GP4000s, latex tubes aren’t going to do a whole lot for ride quality. But, on a nicer tire like a Vittoria Corsa or Veloflex Master, a latex tube will offer a nicer ride.
@Ron
Excellent! There was that bastard the got in CA for slamming on his brakes in front of a cyclist. Put him into the rear window. Dickwad would have gotten away with it too (if it wasn’t for you meddling kids) if a pro hadn’t seen the news article, and called the prosecutor to tell them the bastard did it to him too. Perp is now in prison. Think they got 4 years.
What is the current opinion of the latex tube for every day riding? I thought that at one point Frank was singing its praises and considering writing a post specific to the joys of latex. I was considering making a set of GP4000s and latex tubes my every day setup this season. I sure don’t like fixing flats since it seems all Conti tires are a real pain to fit to the rims I use. Should I reconsider?
I’ve done away with the mini pump lately, and the Rule #31 sack, and have discovered this little beauty; the Contintental tube bag. It comes with a tube and 2 levers, and it velcros under, gasp, your seat! But, I just chuck it in the middle pocket.
I ditch one lever, and add 2 x 16g Co2s, chuck, and Lezyne glueless patch kit.
In the other pockets go phone, house key (or stash that at home) gels and/or bars depending on ride time.
The great thing about this is, if you are ditching gilet, arm warmers, cap or gloves, and your pockets are getting too ful, just whip it under the saddle. It’s small enough you can even jam it betwee the base of the seat and the rails and no-one will know you’re running an EPMS.
For me its a spare tube gaffer taped up in a sandwich bag with an orange pedro’s tyre lever and an allen key that came with flat pack from ikea. The allen key only fits stem and seat clamp, but thats all i seem to need to adjust anyway when out. Separate from that is a lezyne mini pump, ten quid and my small basic sony phone. I have to really really need to split that tenner to warrant jangling around with change. I’d like to see a tube laid out to the size of A5 and vacuum packed flat, there would be a market for that to slip into a jersey pocket…
@Ron
One point people seem to forget is that if a link has broken you still need to be able to remove the broken parts of the chain before you can fit a master link. If you carry a link you must carry a chain tool as well.
Here’s my kit. The bag at the top contains a $5 note and some shrapnel just in case.
My kit is pretty pared down — CO2, pump, tube, minitool, levers. I had been forgoing a minipump because I never had a good one but I had a flat a couple months ago in a cold, damp redwood canyon and the CO2 + moisture jammed the valve with frost almost instantly. So now I carry a minipump if it’s cold. I could probably do without levers as a well-used Vittoria is pretty easy to get on and off.
Also as I am riding sew ups much of the time I can ditch the extra tube, which is nice.
@Oli
Is there a chain tool/master link setup that works with 11s Campagnolo or do you just have to throw yourself on the mercy of the V-gods with that setup?
@Oli
Oh, the above kit goes in the middle pocket and I carry a small, shitty phone, a camera and keys in the side pockets. This still leaves a ton of room for gels or armwarmers, etc. if required.
@motor city
just fixed my post
@Nate
Very good point! I haven’t had to deal with that yet, but I’d say the The V-Gods would be the best bet…I wonder if carefully nursing a 10sp link would get you home? Put it in an easy gear and don’t shift and you might make it okay, but perhaps let someone else test that theory first!
Show me the kit. I’m rolling thusly. This doesn’t show the massive carbone Blackburn frame pump I use. It’s old and I’m liking the Lezyne small pumps so I’m heading in that direction. CO2, not ready for it. I like the infinite pump. I haven’t broken a road chain so I’m not going to worry about it and the 5mm tool I’ve used once in 10 years but I was glad to have it as it sort of fixed my Campa seat post clamp that was going to failure. No need of other tools. Lezyne tire tools are the best. They make some nice cheap bottle cages I need for KT 2012 Belgium.
All this goes into this waterproof bag and into middle pocket of V-jersey. Beauty.
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Am I the only one who puts their health insurance card next to their license and credit card? I thought about getting road id but it seems pointless. Just wondering considering I haven’t seen any mentions.
@King Clydesdale
I have a road ID, so I don’t carry my health card. Before I had my road ID I’d carry my driver’s license, but I had a bad habit of forgetting it with my bike stuff after the ride, and then not having it on my while driving. Whoops.
Say good chap, what’s the wind looking like for the PDX cogal tomorrow?
Updated my kit after my cursed day at the Austin Cogal.
Goes in the ziplock and then in my right pocket. Roll with an extra tube on long solo rides in BFE. Use a very small EPMS when using bike as transportation around neighborhood and not wearing a jersey or a backpack.
Metal tire levers? Those things scare me.
@Oli
What do you mean by shrapnel?
@Calmante
He means a few coins.
This is mine, to which I add my license and a small note for ice cream, as previously mentioned.
I have never really had many issues with mechanicals on rides, and I wonder if I’m just lucky. The last time I had a flat was… 2003? Is that freakish? How often do you guys flat?
@Calmante
Not often. Maybe once every 6 months or once a year. And I also don’t have mechanicals. But I do clean and inspect everything almost every ride so maybe that’s why. I also change tires and tubes and chains and cables etc before they wear out and if I have any suspect cuts etc. I change them out.
Going 8 years without a flat is freakish yes!
Sorry for such a horrible picture, but I had to use my laptop to take it. Notice the orange bumper?
As a cautionary tale.. This happened to me this morning which dawned drizzly and wet in Wellington. I woke early to make the 8am bunch ride and in my morning daze thought that as I had just installed two new Michellin Pro4’s, I would have no puncture worries and only packed a Lezyne trigger, 1 CO2 cannister, 1 patch and a tube of glue. Wrong, Wrong go to the back of the class..
30mins into the ride in atrocious conditions (or great Belgium training depending on your POV) I got the inevitable puncture from a cut in my race tires. The bunch rides on and I’m standing on the side of the road in the rain screwing in the cannister – which I fuck up, the thing explodes and I instantly regret not taking a mini pump or a spare tube. Fortunately the rain was hiding my tears of shame as I waved down a friendly cyclist 10min later and borrowed a pump whilst he sat and tsk tsked as I patched the tube (hard to get the tube dry enough for the glue to set) Moral of story- there is minimalism and then there is just not having enough
I agree. That’s why no CO2 for me. That pump I carry with me has been used on plenty of other people’s flats to “save” their cartridges. Lame.
@Rigid
I feel that pain. The very first ride post-EPMS I stuffed things in my jersey pockets but didn’t have a patch kit. Two flats later I’m doomed. Wifey keeps riding to car which is a long ways away and I am hiding from the sub-tropical sun in 0.5m square bit of shade on the edge of the highway. I cursed the Velominati that convinced me to ditch the man satchel. Bastardos.
Now I run with 25mm tires, hardly ever get flats and carry two inner tubes. And I have done away with EPMS. And your CO2 experience is why I fear them, I’d screw it up and be left holding my lack-of-pump in my hand.
Since the recent demise in quality of park tools, we’ve been purchasing a lot more Lezyne around the shop. I recently aqcuired one of these.
A thing of beauty.
Don’t forget to brush your tires with your hand or a bottle after riding through road crap. If you’re unco enough, like a guy on the sunday ride from a few months ago, you’ll put your hand between the frame and the back wheel, your glove will catch and drag your hand down, causing it to get stuck between the frame and wheel, you’ll fishtail and probably go over sideways.
When you change a tire it is a good time to pick bits of glass out of the tread as well.
Ouch! I brush my front wheel while riding, but I wouldn’t dare on my rear wheel. I do check my tires and wipe them down before and after each ride, though.