Categories: EtiquetteKitLa Vie VelominatusLook ProTradition

Lock, Sock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Classic witte socks

It used to be that you could choose any color shoes you wanted, so long as they were black and any color socks, so long as they were white. Easy times, those. Then Gianni gave me his White Ladies and all of a sudden my life was complicated.

First of all, the shoes were so beautifully white in their gleaming patent leather that only the whitest of white socks looked white enough. Wear them twice and into the “rain sock” pile they went. The real “rain socks” were even worse, because they were actually dingy and I simply couldn’t deal with the contrast. So then I started wearing black socks in bad weather. Fortunately, white shoes with black socks looks much better than you’d think, although it looks worse than white on white or black on white.

So then I was changing sock color depending on the weather.

The great thing about a pair of White Ladies with white socks is it turns the foot/ankle into a single visual unit, almost like a perpetual pair of overshoes, and everyone knows overshoes always look rad. Very good for motivation when the V-Bank is running a little low on funds.

Then I got my custom orange Bonts, and things really became a mess. Somehow, the extra orange means I have to match my socks to my jersey, otherwise it all looks out of balance; white socks with the Witte jersey, and black socks with the Zwarte jersey. Which is practical because I always wear black in the rain.

But what about that perpetual overshoe look for which I’ve declared my undying love? Orange socks and orange shoes, is it too much? Apparently the answer to that question depends on my mood and how tan my guns are, because I really dug it yesterday but some days I can’t take it because it might be a tad too fluoro. Except I’m kind of liking fluoro again.

So now I’m matching my socks to my jersey unless I match them to my shoes. To make matters worse, my socks are a bit long, I’m afraid. But with my tan line in full swing, I’m committed to the length for the remainder of the season at least. At which point I’ll probably like the sock length.

Somebody call a doctor.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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gilly says:

Jul 12 2015 at 8:28 am

@frank

@gilly

Fuck me Frank, with the turmoil you clearly put yourself through in dressing correct it’s a wonder you get out the door. I’m a black sock/ black & white shoe guy with white socks only guesting when I’m sufficiently tanned.

TURMOIL?

Surely you mean lifestyle. FFS, this is what we do, isn’t it?

Sure is Frank, you're just doing it better than me right now!
frank says:

Jul 12 2015 at 11:01 am

@ChrisO

@Minnesota Expat

Hear hear.

Matching colours doesn’t mean the same as going together.

If you’re wearing an outfit you should be on your way to a Cosplay convention, not a bike ride.

Don't get confused between matching to coordinate and just wearing one color head to toe.

Speaking of which, lots of Stripper Boots out there today.
frank says:

Jul 12 2015 at 11:08 am

@VeloJello

@ChrisO

@Minnesota Expat

Hear hear.

Matching colours doesn’t mean the same as going together.

If you’re wearing an outfit you should be on your way to a Cosplay convention, not a bike ride.

I was…

How long have you been waiting to post that? +1 badge to you, my friend!
Dean C says:

Jul 12 2015 at 2:27 pm

@frank

@VeloJello

@ChrisO

@Minnesota Expat

Hear hear.

Matching colours doesn’t mean the same as going together.

If you’re wearing an outfit you should be on your way to a Cosplay convention, not a bike ride.

I was…

How long have you been waiting to post that? +1 badge to you, my friend!

Now if a kid on a tricycle in a Snow Speeder outfit came by and tangled you up with a rope around your "legs", that would be a sight.

Awesome work on the articulation.
Owen says:

Jul 12 2015 at 3:13 pm

@piwakawaka

@Haldy

Ahh..the varied choices of sock length…at this time of year..I pull the old school trackie card and go with the ultra low socks…

the answer is here @Haldy, NO no no no.

Seriously. We aren't triathletes or cross fit weirdos.
chris says:

Jul 12 2015 at 3:26 pm

I have the answer @frank, these have a suitably subtle orange highlight to show that you are a true Velominatus but don't limit you to the relatively unimaginative spectrum of cycling shoe colours. You can know ride in any socks you want.
piwakawaka says:

Jul 12 2015 at 3:33 pm

@frank

@ChrisO

@Minnesota Expat

Hear hear.

Matching colours doesn’t mean the same as going together.

If you’re wearing an outfit you should be on your way to a Cosplay convention, not a bike ride.

Don’t get confused between matching to coordinate and just wearing one color head to toe.

Speaking of which, lots of Stripper Boots out there today.

truckload of awesome right there...
piwakawaka says:

Jul 12 2015 at 3:37 pm

@chris

No no no no no.
steelhead says:

Jul 12 2015 at 7:21 pm

White Shoes , De Feet 5inch Cyclismo Socks in any of their given colors as long as the sock color coordinates with the kit . End of story .
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 12 2015 at 8:07 pm

@tessar @Teocalli @VeloJello in extremely cold or wet conditions (or a combo of both), they are amazing. Completely waterproof & tight enough at the top to not let water seep down in to your feet.

The only downside to them is once the temps get in to double digits (C) you're going to see the other effect of putting completely windproof coverings over your feet, which is that there's no air movement that will help evaporate the sweat your feet will produce. In those temps, you want a pair of Belgian Booties like the pair @frank posted.