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Lock, Sock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Classic witte socks

It used to be that you could choose any color shoes you wanted, so long as they were black and any color socks, so long as they were white. Easy times, those. Then Gianni gave me his White Ladies and all of a sudden my life was complicated.

First of all, the shoes were so beautifully white in their gleaming patent leather that only the whitest of white socks looked white enough. Wear them twice and into the “rain sock” pile they went. The real “rain socks” were even worse, because they were actually dingy and I simply couldn’t deal with the contrast. So then I started wearing black socks in bad weather. Fortunately, white shoes with black socks looks much better than you’d think, although it looks worse than white on white or black on white.

So then I was changing sock color depending on the weather.

The great thing about a pair of White Ladies with white socks is it turns the foot/ankle into a single visual unit, almost like a perpetual pair of overshoes, and everyone knows overshoes always look rad. Very good for motivation when the V-Bank is running a little low on funds.

Then I got my custom orange Bonts, and things really became a mess. Somehow, the extra orange means I have to match my socks to my jersey, otherwise it all looks out of balance; white socks with the Witte jersey, and black socks with the Zwarte jersey. Which is practical because I always wear black in the rain.

But what about that perpetual overshoe look for which I’ve declared my undying love? Orange socks and orange shoes, is it too much? Apparently the answer to that question depends on my mood and how tan my guns are, because I really dug it yesterday but some days I can’t take it because it might be a tad too fluoro. Except I’m kind of liking fluoro again.

So now I’m matching my socks to my jersey unless I match them to my shoes. To make matters worse, my socks are a bit long, I’m afraid. But with my tan line in full swing, I’m committed to the length for the remainder of the season at least. At which point I’ll probably like the sock length.

Somebody call a doctor.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Jul 13 2015 at 9:55 am

@steelhead

White Shoes , De Feet 5inch Cyclismo Socks in any of their given colors as long as the sock color coordinates with the kit . End of story .

The Cyclismos are indeed the beezkneez. And the whole obsession with V-inch cuffs is what got me down this path of too-long socks.
frank says:

Jul 13 2015 at 9:57 am

@mouse

@Mikael Liddy

I second that.

Velotoze are simply awesome. They are the only over bootie that I’ve ever used that I can guarantee that I’ll have dry feet after 2 hours in torrential rain. (You might have a bit of sweat build up as they don’t breathe, but you’ll have clean shoes and warm feet!) I’ve worn them in 4 degrees and pouring rain and they were warm (enough). Everything else was fucked though.

They are fragile. I’ve had a few tears in the bottom where I’ve accidentally stepped my instep over a stair tread. In spite of that, they’re holding together brilliantly. I expect that I’ll get a full winter season out of them, so long as I’m careful. Given their price, even if I do need another pair, I’ll consider it worth it.

Suffice it to say that I have no less than 5 pairs of other neoprene booties sitting in my drawer. They are staying there unused because it’s nice to know that I can go ride knowing that I’ll have dry feet.

Interesting. I may have to consider this! I don't mind the wet shoes normally, but I'm not a huge fan of the sopping wet shoe going on after sitting in the locker all day...
Ron says:

Jul 13 2015 at 10:25 am

Ahem, for fans of orange...
VeloJello says:

Jul 13 2015 at 11:29 am

@frank

Stuff your wet shoes with newspaper. Soaks all the water out. Wrap them in it too for the outer leather.
VeloJello says:

Jul 13 2015 at 11:30 am

@Ron

Ahem, for fans of orange…

Spong! That is geet lush!
VeloJello says:

Jul 13 2015 at 11:33 am

@tessar

@chris

@frank Whilst indulging in a bit of gun envy, I couldn’t help noticing that your magnificent tan doesn’t make it past the knee. Is this article a prelude to a confession about your stripper boots?

Unless you cycle a recumbent (Merckx forbid!), the tan will always be stronger above the knee…

A-merckx to that. Occasionally the rear calves get tanned more too, given I live in the east and ride east to west most mornings.
frank says:

Jul 13 2015 at 11:36 am

@VeloJello

@frank

Stuff your wet shoes with newspaper. Soaks all the water out. Wrap them in it too for the outer leather.

I actually use these, which also de-stink them:

http://www.evo.com/boot-dryers/dryguy-drystix.aspx
tessar says:

Jul 13 2015 at 11:42 am

@VeloJello

Yep, my rear calves are also quite dark, thanks to some pretty strong morning sun here in the Middle East.

For a while I used to ride a north-south route quite often, and ended up with my left side significantly more tan than the right. Early morning out, mid-noon back.
chris says:

Jul 13 2015 at 12:03 pm

@tessar

You would appear to have proven that an all over tan van be achieved by other methods than resorting to a recumbent. Well done.
chuckp says:

Jul 13 2015 at 12:07 pm

Mix and match. Old school bike and jersey. New school socks. Stripes and plaid.